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I was drinking a Geek Beer / root beer out side of where she works today.... after droping her off I came home only had just gotten into the house and down to my desk when there was a knock on the door and I had to go all the way back up to see what was going on



The police asked me to step outside where they explained to me they had gotten a complaint about ME standing outside drinking beer in public and then driving away



O.o I was like yeah Root Beer hold on I'll go get you the bottle.... came out showed the bottle to the officer.... we both had a good laugh.... he did comment that who ever filed the complaint gave a VERY GOOD discription of WHO I was The Car.... The Plate numbers.... the only thing he said they left out was my name....



So let me get this right.... you got my plate number.... you got the K&N sticker on the side of the hard top.... you got that it was a 2007 (how you can tell that from the out side I dont know.... type of rims on the car.... stickers on the car..... body mods on the car..... my hair cut.... what I was wearing.... you got it all exactly right.... and you did not give the police my name.... AND I was only there for maybe 3 mins????



Something smells about this.... it seems a little too convenient.....



But be warned people.... DO NOT DRINK BALLS GEEK BEER in public.... obveously your drinking REAL beer and driving a $40,000 worth of moded sports car.... that might I add.... I have NEVER had a ciggie in not once!



^.^ lol oh my

The worm has turned and is packing....



Working hard on the exam.... and figureing out monthly expenses.... and junk



have to pass this have to do this have to do that everything else is taking a back seat on the bus for now.... ignorence is bliss time to ignore the bullshit and get to where I need to be and not where any one else wishes to push or put me.



Its Game Time

Yup thats what she said on her FB that she's "Sick of this one sidedness" I almost pissed myself laughing when I saw this.



One side'edness with HIM obveously cuz it shur as fuck is not with me.... cuz there is NO SIDE left here..... she knows it I know it....



She need to leave and SOON



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I spent most of last night out with people I have not talked to or seen in forever.... explained my situation and Low and Behold the answers I got from you know other ADULTS (yes im saying shes not one) astounded me what other people see from the out side looking in.



1. she wants you to kick her out and get upset so she can use it as ammo to go ride a pitty pony to who ever



2. all of a sudden shes getting you to use condoms ALL the time.... the test results must not have come back yet or if they did there must be something wrong on them (I said what test results) - all of them? lol



3. So shes basically said your home your cars your money your job the future she COULD of had is NOTHING compaired to her and her FRIEND and shes never going to leave him.... well then hope she has fun with that.... nice to know partying is such a high priority



4. shes talking in circels alot is'nt she? Yup been there done that seen that before.... is she really defencive yup check there too.... shes probley already cheated on you.... or knows what shes doing how much its hurting you feel some what bad about it but does not care enough to admit shes wrong



5. Dude you deserve better.... there has to be loads of girls out there who would not take a guy with a sports car a truck.... a job making well over $1000 a week.... a house with no morgage on it.... and you keep your own hours.... who wouldent want someone like that?



6. this is a respect issue if you dont respect what you have damn right you wake up one day and well its not there any more



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Point form gotta love it.... but in any case yeah as the saying goes....



\o/ DONE!

I think this song sums up how I'm feeling today



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UnterNull - Moving on Lyrics



i'm so afraid to have you feel like this

but you're so afraid of second chances

despite the walls growing in between us

i'm moving on



i'm so afraid of feeling like this

you're so afraid of going past us

you just betrayed the one to never turn their back

i'm moving on



this is the last time you will betray me

this is the last time that you will hurt me

this is the last time you've destroyed my hope

i'm moving on



you built this up the best you could

but there things misunderstood

like how to love ,and how to care

and always trying to be there

when life hard and i fell down

you left me crawling on the ground

you let me suffer and you didn't care

and all i needed was you there

its time for me to be moving on, to start the life that's not begun

i'm moving on



i'll be fine after you have gone

without you life will still go on

but neither hope nor bliss

will undo the shit that you have done

i'm moving on

this is the last time that I'll say again

i'm moving on

My head hurts.... so yesterday was her birthday... all she wanted for supper was taco's and she got them. then she went to bed. I came over and said.... well I sapose you dont wana go get a drink since you already had your birthday party saterday it would appear.... she looks at me no I dont want to drink.... I sapose I said you dont want to watch a movie or go out some place..... No she said.... I said then I guess your just going to sleep then.... rolled over pulled covers over head..... I asked well did any of your friends want you do go out and do something then.... she said yes but that she was not in the mood....



I crossed to the other side of the house where my 2 pillows and blanket are there waiting for me on a leather sofa.... I sit on the floor and try to play a game on the xbox.... she then says when you are done that we need to talk. I stop what I'm doing and walk back over



I am expecting the conversation to go like.... well I've desided I'm going to move in with the other boy.... or some other boy.... or girl or something.... instead I get the question "why dont we have sex any more"



I try to explane the idea that WHY would someone want to have sex with someone who there basically JUST LIVING WITH.... how I got sick of how she gets so excited to be out with her friends (she says friends but raelly the only friend there is an ISSUE with is HIM so I find the FRIENDS blanket statement to be REALLY FUCKING LAME.... yes I never let her see her friends.... NO MY PRONLEM IS ONE FRIEND ONE MALE COUNT FAGULASS PRETENTIOUS PRICK RELATIONSHIP, MARRAGE KILLING SNAKE - (note yes he has been a force that has ended other relationships and marrages before) ) but then treats me like shes just so fucking BORED with me.... she tells me thats cuz I do the same thing every day.... I retort with well its not like I can go OUT and DO anything with you since since we know you dont do those things with me any more.... she retorts with well you dont like doing the things I do.... (to be honest I STOPED going out places with her because I was not wanted there and well I got sick of going places with her having HIM show up and be all over her and up in her face - I'ed often just want to leave and go home why the fuck would I want to be there if clearly I am NOT NEEDED - ) I follow with hay I do like going out to those places.... this is followed by a almost violent insisting that NO I DO NOT



I could go on and on and on but I wont you get the idea.... I've been box'ed into a corner where no matter what I say and or do now there is no digging myself out.... I'm wrong and thats that.



One thing I did get out of the conversation last night was how much did I give up for her.... I explaned that I changed the house menu.... that I dont drink as much any more.... that I dont hang out with serton friends any more.... that I dont go serton places any more.... I even changed my movie and video game habbits for her - and she retorted with the whole YES but I did not demand or ask you to give up said things.... I said no I changed how I did things for you because I cared.... apparently shes had to give up WAY MORE then me or so she has convinced her self that on this issue there is not even a hope of equallity



She went on last night to state that her friends (by now we all know she means FRIEND and we know WHO that is) are more importent to her.... then all the stuff in here then keeping the house then keeping and getting the second car then her getting her drivers lisence (she could not pass the road test the first time and gave up in case your wondering) so basically ME and everything that IS ME is NOT as importent as her friends(FRIEND stop saying friends its FRIEND you know it I know it get the fuck over it already)



the end result of the conversations last night was she went out the door for 2 and 1/2 hours to where ever she said she was walking but who cares at this point....



when she does leave here she will etempt to move back home with her mom she WONT be moving in with him she has decalired



in the end I went to sleep on the sofa.... I woke up this morning to her leaveing and her mom picking her up....



there is NO relationship left here she is just a girl who is living in my family home.... the question now is how long till she leaves

I drove getting a text ever 1.5 mins the whole "im done come get me" crap. I get down there shes so drunk she cant even stand on her own "HE" helps her to the car and then walks away swinging his cain in the air and walking with his useuall im so F-ing cool swagger.



All the way home shes mumbleing.... wanting me to pull over to different fast food places.... I say I'm not hungry and drive right home....



We get home she goes up to the kitchen on the second floor (its 2:45 in the morning) and procedes to make a mess.... she comes back down stears and goes right to bed and passess out cold after laying there and crying her eyes out.... kept asking her what was wrong she never answered me



This morning she said she did not remember much.... I know she did spend around $100 last night one herself and probley him.... this morning its drop me off and off she goes again.... asked her why she was crying and got a falt I dont remember

Well its her birthday weekend and well.... shes not here and I'm cleaning and doing laundry.... yup shes out partying it up with him (ive started calling him the other boy friend)



Let me ask you something.... if you where with someone living with them.... you say you love them.... yet any time you try to go out and do something with them it seems like a chor....



Then you have this other guy who when you want to go have fun you go call him



Am I the only one who does see a problem with this?



How many times have people come up to us when he is there and auto matically say "oh and this is your boy friend" and point to him and not me..... how many times does she take NO interest in my things but if he got the same damn thing she would be bounceing over there so fast it would make your head spin



Ive been told there is nothing going on between them ive been told this is perfectly normal we've had fight after fight after fight about this



am I wrong? should I be this upset?



someone please sort this mess out for me I just dont fucking know any more :'(

I cant stay mad at her.... no matter how much we yell scream bitch and rant and piss each other off I cant stay mad at her.... sometimes I wish I could it would make things easyer sometimes.....



I am getting very used to working on my car myself its becoming a very close personal thing that and I am a ferm beleaver of if you want something done right do it your self



sighs



I am so tired.... studieing for certification exam today I take it tomorrow night at 5:00 murrr I'm scared of this exam but I've been told its easyer then the course exam was :\

It's all been too much for me.... but I write my exam today and pass it.... that means wensday I write my certification exam.... and then start work shortly after....



Now you would think this would mean some form of celebration or something.... shortly after writeing the exam today she tells me (her X is going to be back in town tonight and that there having a BIG party over at Count Faguals house - and that if its not too much trubble she will would like to go) I give her the exact opposite reaction shes expecting.... pack a bag with a change of clouths for when you get off work.... get off work go over there.... I hope I see you before 3 in the morning....



Truth I dont expect her to come home.... she does not have to work till the next day at 5.... she can go right the fuck on ahead.... go get fucked up with boy-friend (or the one who makes you happy where I do not and we all think your better off with each other any how) and I dont do this is a nacty way I just say it matter of fact no fighting no sign of being pissed..... just fucking go dont stay home with me and be MIZZERABLE cuz your not over there just fucking go....



and well.... no I love you when I drop her off at work.... just this look on her face of PURE HATE.....



I'm sorry your shinannegins dont effect me any more its been almost of year of this bullshit.... just fucking go dont give me any more bullshit go get really drunk do what ever it is you guys do and just leave me the fuck out of it



DONE!