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the boy from Utah opened a door..

behind the door was black and white....

unreadable expressions..

but beauty in it all...

nothing was known nothing was felt... nothing.

he didnt understand the beauty in the unknown...





she writes...she writes of blood,darkness..and hate...

it comes naturally...

it comes vividly..

she does'nt notice it ..

the boy from Utah does...

he sees her disturbed...

he sees her in the life that has'nt been known to him..



she writes to him normally...

as if she never written about what he hated..

she writes and writes and writes...

he reads he reads he reads...



slowly she does'nt want to write yet he still reads ...

for some reason ..she stops

she stops..

he stops reading..



The boy from Utah Stopped reading ,stop watchin..he lived a new life.

a beautiful life..no black and white...

just life...

she stopped writing...

she stopped hating..

she stopped ...

because her job was done.

he was cured..

Why did it hurt me? Not phsically but it still hurt. It hurt klike the sun rays on my skin, it hurt like fire....it hurt like light.Why did i pain at the thought?



I thought about him and everything he said..did.I cried viciously but the pain did'nt leave... It just lasted longer.I wanted to bleed to die.to die slowly, painfully.Just die.I had been happy had'nt I ?Even for that short period of time.



I went insane with anger with saddness...This dark hole in my heart that had once been filled was empty.Hollow.I was angry confused and willing to die..to die.I finally wanted to die after 1000 years .I actually wanted to die.



This pain was unbearable..makes me a coward for not trying to fight it..not trying to stop loving him.Today i was going to die.

to die because of pain..because of love.



I went to the kitchen and turned on the stove.. the light made my eyes sear and bleed.I grabbed a kitchen knife and began to het it over the stove..heat it until the steel glowed.TodayI was going to die...today I would leave pain and eternity behind.Because of him.



The knife glowed with heat. It was red and somewhat gold mixed together ,like a pheonix color.My eyes began to bleed as I raised the knife closer to me.



I brought to my throat and slashed my neck. The scent if my blood filled the air as it spilled on the floor.I felt searing pain in all of my muscles.... I screamed .It hurt ,oh how it hurt. The room became a blur in my blood tears . I reached for the knife a second time and slashed again this time on my rist.I screamed again.my cloathes were soaked and my body lay there on the foor.the whole room going dark.. my haed flashed back to small bits of my life and then stopped .It stopped in a bit where I watched my suicide from somewhere....I saw myself die.



It all went dark...no sound .Nothing.



I had finally died.