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Had a dream last night

I was drowning….

Drowning in this warm pool of water that was all sensations

All hands and lips teeth and flesh but nothing I could see, it was so dark…

Going under I was so afraid I was gone…consumed by all the feelings sucking me down

I was calling out, the scared little girl calling out to be saved…saved by you

Head up as much as it could be thinking I cant breathe otherwise

So afraid of all the darkness that I am trying to stay afloat in a whirlpool around my body

So many feelings heavy, different, weighing on my frame drawing my body deeper



Each breath is quick from fear, heart pounding I momentarily close my eyes

saying a silent to prayer to whatever god might listen, might show mercy, save me

Save me … save me please I am so afraid to drown so afraid to go and I want to live

As the last words were formed on my silent lips a hand reaches down eyes now open

Afraid but feeling relief I reach up for it, it passes mine

I feel it wrap securely about my throat instant panic

but in this grip fingers to the base of my skull it is lifting me and yet

I must be confused for suddenly up is down disoriented

But he is above me and still pulling me, but down pulling me down

A brief second of panic then his eyes appear…His eyes the sky…

It is you I say in my head my soul cries it out, smiling back as if you heard

Still drawing me near you whisper “don’t be afraid up is down”

It is YOU it has been always but I was upside down this isn’t what’s to fear so much

Descending and rising higher still

This with you can be safety I can be kept held tightly in the dark

Wrapped securely in the bindings of your desires and mine

More free than I ever was to venture in… venture down …venture out

Suddenly there we are, on what feels to be the most solid ground, our trust

Standing, you with one hand about my throat the other wrapped around my waist

I am caught in your gaze but no tricks here, none needed

My eyes opened by your soul my soul bound to you by your heart

As you release my throat and body I sink grateful happy relieved

to the ground by your feet on my knees feet tucked under knowing

that your looking down to me is not looking down at me, again up is down

In the most regal way sitting tall at your side shoulders back head held high

As your most precious pet here I am safe I am desired cared for loved in your way and…

Here is where I belong

Current mood: anxious



I raise my face upwards to the sky and cry out. Love send me my love. Listen to my heart hear my voice sing out my desire. A single tear drop falls from the sky onto my face. God's of lust and love is this a sign an answer of a sort? Is this pity or heart break for my needing and lonely soul. Look down on me oh Gods and give of your magic to my life. Bend your majestic heads and hear my plea's I am one in need of being two of being whole, for a part so much more than important even more than just necessary has been missing for too long in my life. Open your hearts drop from your hand my love to me. As the trembling legs of a lover would part part this curtain of pain that holds my love from me. Be less a master and more the loving parent bringing gifts of happiness to the heartbroken child. It is Love that is needed love being the water making this delicate flower grow. I am standing in this abyss with a vision stronger than it could ever have been. Far across on the distant bank is love my home my happiness, I stand shackled for someones pleasure yet seeing my fire still burning so far away I pull and jerk at my bindings until there is blood my blood from my heart out my flesh to a pool around my feet. I watch as a stream ever so faint trickles to the shore mingles in the water and across where I can see loves hand scoop my blood my love my heart in his hands and carry it out.In my heart my head I can hear~ fear not love the heaven has an ear and has heard an eye and has seen and heart and does feel our love so great. now in return for the greatest gift they ask from us this one thing.. hardest to give when the vision is so close.....Patience.~

heal your wounds calm your spirit see me just over here holding your heart wrapped in so much love in my arms and know that soon....so very soon you will be set upon the same ground as I together entwined to sleep to wake to live and love together as one as it should be.

Currently listening:

She Talks to Angels By The Black Crowes