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around three years ago I had a miscarry. so I get depressed when I see all my friends who are younger then me having kids. I even stop talking to them because I get so jealous. I really wish I was a mom. the thoughts have been more frequent as of lately. it also don't help that my friend jokes around and says "quit makin babies" all the time. I am extreamly happy with my relationship...im just sucked back into my hideous thoughts again. I cry because of this...will this void ever go away? I need some peace.

so this is me kinda updating you all on what's happened to since I have been gone..i got a new boyfriend. I have been looking everywhere for a job.not much luck..but I never think negative. I hope I can start getting on here more. and level up so I can be in chats. oh my new laptop has a webcam so I can start caming. im excited. well I have to get ready to leave I have some awesome plans with the boyfriend and some buddies.