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There is always a level of etiquette that appears during the balls I attend. No matter what the theme is the dress code remains fairly simple, and unrestrictive. I happen to fall into the "Curvy Queen" category and as such I never attend alone. Our community has a fondness of swarming what we appreciate and desire. I thankfully have grown accustom to it over the years and now it gives me a confidence boost but I still remember the first time I attended the ball.

My friends went to get us drinks from the bar and left me at a vendor table (not near the dance floor at all) no sooner were they out of sight I had 5 other community member surrounding me asking for pictures and inviting me to different after parties. I was shellshocked. At the time, I had been so used to people avoiding me, calling me intimidating that at the time I had started to shrink myself to fit the world. I spoke with the burlesque girls and some of the performers and hosts before my friends came back.

Yes the experience was jarring in the moment but looking back it was exactly what I needed to become who I am now.