The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

VR has been boring as fuck lately.

There. I said it.

Someone had to.

I log in, look around, and it's the digital equivalent of walking into Walmart at 3 a.m. Half the people look dead, the other half probably are, and there's always one motherfucker wandering around doing something nobody understands (that's likely me).

Refresh.

Nothing.

Refresh again.

Still nothing.

Outstanding. We've apparently achieved peak internet.

Where's the drama?

Where's the completely unnecessary public meltdown over something that could've been handled in three private messages?

Where's the 4,000-word journal explaining how someone absolutely, positively, definitely doesn't care about the person they just wrote 4,000 fucking words about?

Where are the cryptic posts obviously directed at one specific person followed immediately by:

"If you think this is about you, that's your problem."

Bitch, you practically tagged them.

I need entertainment.

Someone start a ridiculous rumor.

Fake your own death and come back Thursday.

Declare yourself the rightful ruler of VampireRave.

Start a cult.

Accidentally sleep with somebody's imaginary internet spouse.

Tell everyone you're leaving forever and log back in seventeen minutes later.

DO SOMETHING.

At this rate I'm going to have to become productive, and nobody wants to see that fucking disaster.