The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am so freaked out about leaving in a few short weeks. Looking ahead it seems like I have no time...My appointment at the travel clinic is next week and then 14 days and I am getting on a plane for over 36 hours. I am worried about everything cause I've left it all to the last minute. Getting my passport, and applying for funding for school next year, and of course money. I don't have enough to pay the ticket but she says I can pay her back...I don't even know what I am doing for money while there. All I will have is about four hundred of actual money and a credit card...And all I can think "WTF am I doing???"

I know that this is going to be an incredible experience and I should just do it, I am young and can bounce back but I feel like I am not doing anything right.

To top it off, I am leaving Nick behind for a month and half. I know he doesn't like it but I am not going to for go this, I can't. I know that he needs the security of his job and a solid place to call home we all do. But what happens when I am done school...what will he do then?

I am not staying in North America when I graduate plain and simple, I want this degree so I can travel. Unfortunately it is with or without him. Though I really want it to be with him, but I know he wants to get into theatre and I keep trying to get him to go back to school instead of selling cell phones. If he comes with me, he can't do theatre. He always says he'll go where the job takes him..I want to create a job where I go...Is it simply a different view due to who we grew up with?

I am so scared to not have him...but what if it means destroying him?

I love you so fucking much Nick...