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Even though I am not alone, I feel like I'm alone because everyone leaves me eventually. So hence the constant feeling of being alone it is not rejection it is not abandonment. It is just people have to go I do not know if it is me who doesn't let them in or if it is them who do not want to be let in. All I know is I've always been alone in even a crowded room. I'm sure many people feel this way but in my case it is actually true it is all I've ever known. Solitude is my friend as well as my enemy.