The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Why is life so complicated? I don't get it...my brain feels like mush, my tummy feels like a small playground with things jumping around inside...I'm not looking for anything but I didn't realise how much I miss having someone who cares to talk to and just have fun with...

And how much I would miss being single...

What I really want is the choice to be able to lay down on the same bed or hug or kiss or colour with or clothe or bathe with or do whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want with one or a few males of our species without any getting jealous or doing the dominance shit....matriarchal, queen bee type shit you know?

I don't know, but I think im quite certain when I say I have multiple personalities. I think back on things I've done and the memories are like distant dreams. It wasn't me in control. I've done things that I would never do, even now after knowing I've done them, they're something foreign that was played out in my name.

I don't just have mood swings I have personality defaults.



I become overwhelmed with desires of suicide, adultery, drug or alcohol binges, in which I'm no longer me. An hour or a day or a week later I look back and go, what the hell was I doing, and often can't recall the feeling at all for that to be desired as an end result.



I dont feel like this is normal.



My dreams become blurred with reality, emotions from them are tied to me after waking no matter how farfetched the dream itself was.

Addictive habits only take one night's dream to settle in, like smoking. Wounds are painful, being shot or stabbed continues to sting after waking. Death is often disturbing to the point of pure terror or sadly peaceful to the point of suiciality.



I cry in my sleep at sadness, love lost most common, lovers, parents, siblings. Heartbreak is just as painful in dreams as well as after waking as gutwrenching as in reality.



Ghosts talk to me, animals guard me, the elements themselves soothe me.

Is it odd to have severe masochistic sexual urges in dreams? To the point of self inflicting injuries and having the same urges after waking? Just noting my thoughts down nothing serious...

COMMENTS

-

---

Lullaby
16:32 Jun 06 2013

It's not weird at all, really. A lot of people have that, or similar.

---

POST COMMENT