the other night, Howard and Dee were arguing in thier bedroom with the door open and I heard them talking about getting a divorce. It may be because she's always 10 steps behind him and always asking what he's doing, where he's going, or whatever. Due to the fact that he cheeted on her when he was lonely when he was out on the road, I don't know what to say to them. She may be moving in with her daughter, Kim, and taking care of her grand daughter, Kaileen, while she's in jail. I'm sure it would be something Justin wouldn't mind it, but I don't want them to split up just because Justin hates her and whatever. But she's a spendaholic and blows money on stupid random shit. If she moves out, I'm out of a computer....If she moves out, I'm staying here.
Yep, They're deffinately on thier way out of eachother at the rate things are going between them. I'm avoiding both of them so I can figure out a way to try to fix things.
Last night at the Opera House, Alma just bursts out with "did you know she's a witch?" pointing to me at the table while i was drawing. I dropped my pencile, angry and looked at her. The other lady wasn't horrified or disgusted. But I still got hte "Don't put any spells on me" joke out of it. That's stupid.
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One thing I've learned about my dreams, is that if I think about a million things when I have no sleeping pills, I will have wild dreams and most of them are for my best interest to contemplate on and pay attention to the day I wake to. I love it. There's been more dreams about a man in a courtroom, but I've no idea who he is....
02:51
My ribs have been doing a lot of hurting the past few nights. It's very painful, causing me to double over.
07:03
I swear if I get stared at today, I'll give them a reason to stare. Especially the stupid fucking town boys who think it's polite to stare. It's annoying and very rude.
Yes, it was alright of a night for the first time. About an hour or so, we found Stasha. Had to help her get her tongue jewelery in but couldn't get it. First we tried from the top, but then i remembered people coming into our tattoo/piercing parlor saying they swallowed their ball, so I went from the bottem. I didn't get it, but I think Adrien did. Met a few new people. Silver and someone else. Chatted up with a couple none of us knew, but we sat together anyway. Brandy got hit on by some Capt. Morgan drinking guy and I could see it in her eyes and Jason's that it wasn't very funny. The second I saw his eyes flash, I was telling him with my mind, "Not here, not now". He did nothing and kept his cool. I saw how bad he wanted to tear into that guy. Some dude in the bar section a booth away kept stareing at Brandy while he passed. She didn't mean to make eye contact, but what do you do when you're wondering who's walking pass you. Silver came over and talked to that couple I was giving tattoo pointers to for her first tattoo and they told him it was my first time there. Silver's eyes flashed and I said, "No." as soon as I saw it. He'd said something about introducing me to Bubbles and both Jason and Brandy said "No" at the same time. (that guy would have spanked me and humped me)Then he said something about introducing me to someone else. I asked who and what a him was and Brandy got serious and dangerous towards Silver saying, "Anyone touches her, and I will kill them." I knew right then and there that I was getting out of the spanking and humping that was coming to me. And I did. She saved me from humiliation that breaks you in at the bar/club. Before we left to pick up Brandy in the beginning of this, we stopped at his house and his mother told me not to let him get into any trouble. "You hear that, you're in her hands", she told Jason. He said I was in his. It went both ways. I was to keep him out of trouble and he was going to keep me protected. We got to Brandy's after the long hour and a half drive and I got to meet her dad and the Chinese mother. or step-mother. Her dad asked if i was a criminal. "No." was more than ones answer. Brandy's got a HUGE collection of things that are black. I only got to see a sliver of it, on the other hand. She wore her long skirt and hoody out the door with her sneakers and changed and did her makeup on the way. Them fuckers charged us $5 each because of the tattoo show; if it weren't for the show going on, me and Jason would have gotten in for free due to the fact that we're 21 and over. We left after a long while and decided to come back again another Wednesday. Got Arby's and when it was realized that the guy forgot a shake, he jumped out after parking and ran to the door. Just as he opened his door, it rained HARD. He opened the door and the windshield wiper tried to get in three times. Then it was upside down and he had to get out and fix it again. Then it was almost unbearable to see beyond the coming reflecting yellow dash on the road. I got scared of the storm(yeah, i'm a puss to storms) and watched the lightening touch the ground so many times. One time it came to the side of us in the far distance, that I jumped and gasped. Yep, scared. No lie. I'm a big puss bag to these west storms. After ten minutes, the rain let up and we made it to his place safe. His blinkers weren't working since Arby's so we took his fathers truck with his dad driving. That's when he told me about knowing Mairikia's dad and heard he was a spittin image. Dunno if Justin knows that or not. Brandy gave me the fishnet shirt I borrowed to replace my old torn up fishnets i had underniethe my corset-like top. I also wore my black pants with the buckles going down the sides and my old multiringed collar and block studded bracellet. We got stamped HI on our hands except for Brandy who got LOW on hers and we all got reflecting stripped bracellets. Also got to haggle a floressant pink bracellet that glows from Stasha when I helped her put her long reflectives on her biceps for her. I get home and Trevor is trashed, and drove home.
18:31
I hate Dave. He makes it a pain in the ass to go to the store. So does getting stared at. Seeing Dave always ruins my day. I forgot my ID when I went down there; usually the girls don't ask for it. They just sell them to me because they remember my face and are sweet. But today, Dave just happened to be there and I'm going to go back when Dave's not there close to midnight. Just five and a half more hours to steam about it.
23:48
Going to spend more time with Jason and Brandy this weekend.
Tonight I am going to Uptown/Downtown in BG for the first time with Jason and Brandy. I just hope no bitxhes starts anything.
Dee came over and we packed up Baby Girl in her cage, put it in the back of the truck and set out on to the road to Defiance. I packed up the bag my grandfather used to bring to the marina and brought my fuzzy makeup bag and we set out on our way. The first night, I didn't do much. I had left Jason with the number I could be reached at. The second day, he called me up and him, Brandy and myself went out for the day. At first, we went to see if we could find our Priestess (Mairikia's mother). Unfortunately she was not home. I wasn't sure if she was home or Patty had used her car, like she had done before many times, so I peaked through her little corner in the front door that was uncovered and then called in through the screened window that was open. No one home. The only life was the cats that were rip roaring at eachother. So we left for about an hour and a half and went back to do the same thing, this time Jason called a hello through the screen. Still no one was home. So we went and did other things. We had met up at Tom's Donut's when it was still daylight for 3 hours left of the time. Then we went to the mall and then out to eat where Mark was working at Wendy's. How strange. I had to conferm with Jason that it was Mark infact. I was wondering who was asking me: "where the hell've you been, bitch"? in a sarcastic tone. I had known mark for 4 years and we have not seen eachother for the past 2. When it was getting to be dusk, we went back to Tom's. Some of the kids were happy to see me, especially Stasha. I don't know why, but they always enjoy my company. I go to Tom's because I like that there's so much like myself and Bee doesn't mind. Besides, Bee's always asking me about my book and where I've been. I like Bee. She's got a good business going and I don't want to see that taken away from her, because some bitch decided to mess with another student from Junior High. Now no one can stay there beyond 45 minutes unless they are accompanied with an adult and they are underaged. Brandy, Jason, and I went to Family Video and just looked at movies. Rented two, I watched one before I had to get back to KK's place. I was offered Matt's room,but had to get back. The next day, the kids didn't stay long at thier mothers before the boys went to their dad. I went back the next morning after the children went back and began working on my book on and off. My aunt told me that my funds for the trip back home are coming in slow but surely. I might meet up with someone who lives in New Jersey to hang out for a few days while I'm up in New York that I met on MySpace. Nothing big. Just someone who's a friend.
Did an online reading for a friend up in Michigan:
cali_shealynn: ok
cali_shealynn: i just got some stuff going on...can u tell me if my financial shit will get better? lol
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: lol
cali_shealynn: things are just tight
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: actually, i can do a quick reading for you right now.
cali_shealynn: ok cool
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: ok i'm shuffling the cards
cali_shealynn: ok
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: your past:
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: thieft by a friend; loss or defeat; humiliation; the inability to defend oneself; unfairness; understanding one's limits before success can be achieved; up agains a bully.
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: the present:
cali_shealynn: Ok what's that mean exactly?
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: abundance; wealth; a monetary contract; accomplishment; good news; a new start;, especially in financial and property matters; gifts; positive material gain; new business proposition.
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: ok your past means that you;'ve been fucked over and taken advantage of and you tried to dig yourself out of the hole aht's been put under you
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: the present means that you have good things coming to you and there's your financial gain
cali_shealynn: it's funny u say about a business proposition cuz i been talkin to a brother that helps ppl get corporate credit loans and i'm hoping it goes through so i can move
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: that's great!!
cali_shealynn: so hopefully it works out
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: here's your future:
cali_shealynn: ok
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: messages; communications; internet surfing and business; emails; phone calls; faxes; long distance travel; hasty action; letters of love and passion; action and exitement; forward pursuit of ones goals; much can be accomplished if you think before you act
cali_shealynn: ok what does that mean exactly?
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: means the thingsyou want will be in your reach if you think things trhough before you go for it at all angles. And there's some one chasing your heartlots of good things coming your way
cali_shealynn: lol ur right chica
cali_shealynn: so can u tell me more about this guy?
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: alright. one second
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: strong powerful autoritive figure. Loyal intelligent, often involved with law, the courts, the military service, or dangerous occupations such as a police officer or EMT personnel. Good doctors and surgeons. An excellent friend and an unbeatable foe.
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: so your guy is a highly classed guy
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: ring any bells?
cali_shealynn: mmm no i'm tryin to think
cali_shealynn: anything else that could help me think?
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: it could even be someone that delivers something like mail or a cop that gets called to the area
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: i'll dig into it more
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: someone who's solitarily in search for the truth
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: has philosophical pursuits
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: ring any bells
cali_shealynn: not at all actually
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: ok i'll dig into it a lttle more
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: pretty much a business man of leading others. Has a down to earth personality. and often resourceful
cali_shealynn: hmmm the only person i know like that is the brother who calls to check on me even though i'm df'ed and he is the one trying to help me get the business loan to move and start my own business
cali_shealynn: but i mean that's about it and we talk as friends
cali_shealynn: he asks me if i'm going to go back to the KH etc
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: he maybe the one your reading's talking about. is he an old fellow or arouond your age?
cali_shealynn: he's my age
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: he may be the one.
cali_shealynn: there's this one guy i've been
talking to online that i like and he says he feels the same...he's from miami though and works filling orders of business materials though so i don't think that fits him
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: i have another card here to help you
cali_shealynn: ok
cali_shealynn: thanks i really do appreciate this by the way
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: making the wrong choice due to dissatisfation or emotional baggage; too much of a good thing
velvet_lashes_angel_kisses: who knows. one of them maybe the guy
cali_shealynn: lol
I did a little meditating last night and read my cards. My cards were alright, except that I had to let others learn their lessons on thier own so that I could not take the blame for what they did. Pretty much saying I can't save everyone. And last night while I was laying down in bed around 3am, I was hearing peoples thoughts and speaches. I must have been thought of or talked about a lot because I kept hearing my name in the air. And one of them was crying. I became afraid for that person instantly and my heart was wrenching to sooth who ever it was. I hate when people I know are sad and cannot do anything to help them.
Today I smelled syrup. I asked everyone else if they smelled it and they said no. I think Adam's back again. I miss him. The only reason it's syrup is because the day he died, he made breakfast of pancakes, baccon, toast.
Fuck me running sideways! I'm going back home to New York! I just got back after spending 3 months up there. Well, looks like Jason and Brandy are going to miss this one. Didn't think i was going to go back up there for another couple of years. Here's the deal: it's my first family reunion with MY family. Strange? YES!
RAIN DROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD
(next time you'll wear your rain coat)
Rain drops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose
Feet are too big for his bed
Nothing seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head
They keep fallin' so I just
Did me talking to the sun
And I said I didn't like
The way things done
Sleepin' on the job
These raindrops are fallin' on my head
They keep fallin'
But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me
Won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps
Up to greet me
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean
My eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me, 'cause I'm
Never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free nothings worrying me.
Still don't know where Liaka's kittens are. She's skinny as hell now that she's had them.
Ran into my contact for publishing. They want two of my books now. Oh, boy. I don't have two books ready. I've got one.
MY FRIEND NIKI POSTED THIS ON MYSPACE. I AGREE:
To every girl that dresses cute not skanky.
To every girl who wants to be called beautiful not hot.
To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.
To every girl who gets her heart broken because he chose that bitch instead.
To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.
To every girl who would just like once to be treated like a princess.
To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.
To every girl that wont get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.
To every girl that just wants to hold hands.
To every girl that kisses him with meaning.
To every girl who just wishes he cared more.
To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.
To every girl who just wants him to call.
To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.
To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.
To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again because she has been HURT tooo many times or so badly.
To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.
To every girl that thought maybe this one could be the one.
To every girl that believes in her dreams.
To every girl that would do anything so she could achieve those dreams.
To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually does
think it is funny.
To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.
To every girl that has been cheated on because shes not a slut who gives it up to any guy.
To every girl that doesnt want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.
To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.
To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.
To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.
man, I feel like hitting stuff. Don't know why. I'm in a decent mood. Me and Jason are getting things together with the Brethren. It's a slow start, but that's okay. No need to rush important things. We may go visit the Priestess tomorrow if him and Brandi kidnap me. That would be very nice. I don't believe I've been to Defiance this month yet. If I had, it was only once.
My little brother just happened to send me a text message on my phone asking me if i'd wrote his girlfriend back yet. Of course, I told him i had started one, but i am distracted with my pubishing. He's the only one in my family that knows now, but i told him not to tell Momma yet.
it's been a bad day...but I've called Necole, Tammy, and Dee to wish them a happy mother's. The only one that isn't worried about getting a phone call, is my own mother. We don't celebrate holidays in the family. but I hope to change that.
Shirley you stupid bitch!! You have made your mother cry, beat on your daughter and put your family through hell for the last time. I'm through having to pick your family off the floor for you. Get out of thier life. There are no more words that you can say to make me believe a single words from you. Your mother's so upset that she's on a motherfucking breathing machine right now!!!!!!! She is staying in the van across the street from her mothers house saying that he's not drinking and he's good, but there he is, sitting in the front seat of the van chugging a bear. What a loser. He gets drinking and he's violent. He gets drunk, she acts like he's the king of the world so he wont hit her. She beats on her daughter for praise from him. He threatened to kill everyone in the house. If that happens, i'll spend time willingly for killing him.
Liaka caught a bird! Wish I'd seen it happen, but she brought it on the porch to present to me and Jack for praise. Which I did give her while laughing. She's such a huntress, though Jack is otherwise the more nature dociled one of the two. She was carrying it around by the joint in the top part of the wing, chewing on it as she began to eat it. I think the fact that she is the huntress-which is modern for all feline preditory packs-of the two of them. Some on here speak of packs and rules and describes the nature in the totem of the status's that may be held within it. Liaka is the Alpha Female and Jack is the strangely ALpha Male of the locals.
Posted two stories in progress on writers.org. I am thinking about entering Dove Wings into the contest, but it may be too long.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE WRITING STORIES AND ARE INTERESTED IN LEARNING HOW TO MAKE A SUCCESSFUL STORY:
::::::::::::::::::How to Keep Writing Past Your Fabulous Beginning:
http://teenwriting.about.com/library/weekly/aa011303a.htm
::::::::::::::::::How to write a best selling fantasy novel:
http://members.ozemail.com.au/~imcfadyen/notthenet/fantasy.htm
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=59724883
The web address above is from some Tina chick on MySpace who sent me a message:
May 10, 2006 8:35 AM Flag spam/abuse. [ ? ]
Subject: YOU
Body: YOU ARE A BICHT!!!!
The least she could have done was spell correctly. She's 30 years old and obsessed with puppies and the A&E hit called Dog The Bounty Hunter. I think she's mad about the latest topic I posted on the group about Leeland. If so, I don't have any cause to make her mad, other than she took a little laugh the wrong way or she woke up on the wrong side of the litter box. She is part of seven pages long of lists that consist of Dog The Bounty Hunter and nothing but puppies. I simpley sent her an email back saying that she had better have a good excuse for sending me the little inccorectly spelled email in the first place. After I got to page five on her group list, I started laughing my ass off. Obsess much, Tina? I love the show, but I'm not THAT die hard for it. One group is simpley enough for me on the subject.
I even sent her a second email telling her I was waiting for the excuse. And that it was stupid that she would send someone something like that and easily misspell a five-letter word in her hurried pace. Does she look down? Or was she too much in a hurry and not realize that he mistake would actually make her look stupid. Yup. She's a wench.
Hear ye! hear ye! emilee is officially a fucking fruit bat. Check it out. She's only fifteen years old. Whatever she knows is out the window. No logic. It's like she's going to go out an buy a blooding needle, a few plastic containing pouches and just go all out on her friend. Get real. (((my other gripe about this chick is in the gripeing thread))) Was wonering how far she would take this.
shit oh well i juss i just have to keep drinking from the source...it is just that this one person is giving freely but that makkes me want to spare him the tourtuer of penitrating his flesh time after time.....
sorry its so long...
On 00:15:23 May 11 2006 Goblet wrote:
no i do not.
On 00:13:36 May 11 2006 emmilee wrote:
do u know what it is ...
On 00:11:28 May 11 2006 Goblet wrote:
blood can only be preserved through a certain freezing temperature.
On 00:06:58 May 11 2006 emmilee wrote:
do u have a potion or method 4 preserving blood 4 latter consumtion?
On 23:56:07 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
it's been a long time since I've drank. Gotta be careful nowadays
On 23:52:02 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
frome what source do you drink.
On 23:47:16 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
do you dress your wounds when you are done?
On 23:41:47 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
at lest once a week or when ever provoced by surtan inpending figuers in my life.
On 23:35:40 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
ahhh. i see. how often do you do this?
On 23:31:01 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
plus my usaual doners weren around and i was going crazy.
On 23:24:58 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
why?
On 23:21:49 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
self inflicted in a momemt of glutony.
On 23:09:08 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
ahhh. how did that happen?
On 23:05:49 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
ya. u know a masseve shedding of blood.
On 22:57:16 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
blood bath?
On 22:52:14 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
lovely.. just recovering frome a blood bath.
On 22:41:53 May 10 2006 Goblet wrote:
i am good. how are you today?
On 22:39:35 May 10 2006 emmilee wrote:
thanks 4 replying to my ....um... post it?
any way.. how are u?
Today is Justin's birthday...
How sad that I cannot speak to him. He should have waited to call today instead of doing it yesterday.
My day is not as bad as yesterday, but who's to say. The day is not over just yet.
21:50:45
So he did call about an hour or two ago. I'm glad. He sounds like he's in a better mood.
23:51:10
I have completed four things on my to-do list. Especially paying my foster grandmother back and getting a job.
The last few times that Justin's called, I don't know what to say to him anymore. He's always angry at Dee and I'm not going to make excuses for her. He's having insane dreams like me. And it's not like I can cheer him up any more. He's given up on Chris, Jeremy, Amy, and anyone else who was writing him. Every time he calls, it's like my day just became worthless. He makes me feel awful. Nothing anyone does or says cheers him up.
val·or
n.Courage and boldness, as in battle; bravery.
valor
n : the qualities of a hero or heroine; exceptional or heroic courage when facing danger (especially in battle); "he showed great heroism in battle"; "he received a medal for valor"
What ever happened to the little V word? It's been so long since we've seen it. What could possiblybe more important that that? Sure a few muscles and some great hair. A little brute force can get you a long way, but how many guys does it actually take to pull a little valor out of your ass?!
They don't open doors for you-except when one of them happens to be one of your friends, and they don't do couragous things-infact, they don't do anything couragous unless its to punch a guys lights out for insulting us, and they most certainly go about doing things just because they feel it's the right thing.
Is it the mideival time perioud that women love so much because that's the ideal guy? They were couragous enough to fight down the dragon to save a maiden. They defied the laws to marry whome they chose out of LOVE some times and not thier kingdom; women are worse at doing this than the kings themselve were back then. And they married for learning how to love someone the rest of thier life. Sure they pushed a few royal pups out along the way, but it's not the same.
MOST:
Guys have grown used to the fact that a woman's got a tight ass and wish to got they didn't look like a goat. They like the big tits and who's got the best sex bundle between thier legs! They go after the ones who can move thier hips and bounce thier bodies around to get some attention.
MOST:
Girls love a guy who's got the biggest dick or fattest wallet.
Does no one care about likes and fantasies, and knowing the difference without reality??
Valor meant you had enough common sence to woo her with honest charm. Valor meant to walk beside her and not before her. Valor meant she can look around her kingdom-not cast her eyes to the ground or look away at the first nice guy that actually wants to be friends and not secret lovers to steal you away. Valor didn't slap women or treat them like whores.
In the OLD days, a woman can make a man stop in his tracks just by the shape of her lovely shoulders walking around nonchallantly in the market. Or the length of her neck so he can bear it with more room to kiss upon. Or how lovely she was AND NATURAL WITH BEAUTY.
It wasn't a contest to see who could have the most guys jaws drop. There was no race as to who you could sleep with and how many times you can get laid in one day or how many you can sleep with before (or during) you're married.
It's just not fair. Time should stop more often. I think we should swap some time laps and just go back to the honest way when a man faught with thier hands or knew how to survive.
I don't know what is wrong with Justin, but I'm really not in the mood any more to being judged by my association. Jason used to be one way and now he's another. He's trying to turn his life around for his daughter and child on the way. I'm stumped and hating things. My friendship with Jason isn't going to disappear into thin air, just because Justin doesn't like him.
If anyone should be making any demands, it's me for godsake! He's put me through hell and I tried to help him. If it continues too far into the futrure, I'm leaving him and going to where I can have more than just his life and his family and the rest of his incompitant drug want. Gorget him. There isn't enough shame he's caused me to want a life that makes me relinquish my soul.
It's becoming a horrible day. I woke up just fine and then I completely wanted it to end faster than the sun could rise. Justin isn't making it any better. It's like he does not want me to succeed in anything I do so that he can be on top with all his trials and errors or his greatness-which I think he's falling behind on rejuvinating his standards with me. I can't deal with it right now and I'm not sure I want to in the future. Tired of being put through things that I shouldn't have to. I want to leave him some days, and then I think I miss him. If I am wrong in thinking about missing him or thinking of leaving him, than so be it. But I'm tired. And I want to throw in the towel when I want to. But there's no end to the system we call personal justice; seeing on how it's never begain except in our imaginations and in our stories, songs, poems, and sprinkling wishes.
04:06:39A
Yesterday evening around the hour of 6pm, I smoked my last cigarette. I am officially done smokeing. Here I am on my tenth hour and I'm NOW just starting to crave some nicotine. This has got to be ass backwards, right? I am just 2 hours shy of going half a day without a cigarette. Usually its the first few hours that drives you crazy.
No-o-o-o-o-o! *+*chuckles*+*
It's all the other way around for me. In the morning, i'm going to buy a lot of gum and chew it all until my jaw falls off.
04:25:40P
There has still been no cigarette. I woke up and was fine wihtout it. Did the dishes and was fine without one. Got on the computer and I'm just BASHING MY HEAD FOR ONE. It seems that most of my time spent smoking is on the computer due to the amount of time you actually WAIT for things to load, causing the need for a damn smoke. I stayed awake until 7 this morning to buy myself a bumch of lifesaver mints.
The morning was beautiful! Foggy as hell and only the street lights protruded an illuminations haze into the introduction to the figures in the darkness. I crossed the street by Morning Star and some guy in a red car is waving at me and smiling and I've no idea as to who the hell it was. But I kind of waved anyway and went into the store, looking for the best/cheepest mints there were.
2 more hours and i've gone a whole day.
found on the site called Romance By You
here is mine, and i chose to use the vampire one. You type your name in and a sort of discription and it takes part of the novels out and puts your names and discriptions in them.
here's mine:
Elizabeth and Justin meet at the library...
Spying a dusty red binding on the lower shelf, Elizabeth pulled at the tightly wedged volume. Unbeknownst to her, her jostling had caused a book to dislodge and tumble from its precarious position on the top shelf. Then she heard it – the sound of a sudden movement and leather against flesh. She looked up, surprised.
“What?” her blue eyes widened as she took in the sight.
“If I startled you, my apologies.” The man in dark silk smiled at her through electric blue eyes and then reached up toward the skewed shelf, adjusted it, and returned the book. His voice was like his clothing, soft, rich, almost beckoning. The dim light fell gently on his dark brown hair and shoulders. Impossibly wide shoulders...
Elizabeth felt her heart skip a beat; how picturesque. His arms seemed not to stretch as he reached to resettle the shelf. Watching from below, comprehension dawned, she tucked her red hair behind her ears in nervousness. Ah, the noise. She eyed the angle, and a shudder wracked her body. The whole shelf could have toppled were it not for this curious stranger. She had to clear her throat before she could speak, her mind filled with images of heavy, sharp-cornered objects landing on her head. “Thanks for the rescue,” Elizabeth said. Then with a grin added, “Quick hands.”
“Only when there is need, I assure you.” Justin Mairikia smiled, teeth reflecting bright in the dusty air, those broad shoulders casting a shadow over Elizabeth. He nodded in what might almost have been considered a bow and then turned sideways and was gone. One moment there, the next he’d vanished as though he’d never been...
Elizabeth and Battah : a little intellectual repartee...
A lascivious grin was spoiled by the frothy mustache Battah wore; cross-eyed, she glared at it, twisting up her mouth, remnants of her latte still clinging to her lips.
“Do stop licking your lips that way; some man might get the right idea about you, and then where would you be?” Elizabeth was only half kidding, blue eyes ablaze.
“Where every cat longs to be, my sweet innocent little bookworm. Completely in the cream.” She batted her eyelashes outrageously making Elizabeth laugh.
“So, your date last night?”
“Oh, it was perfect. A perfect catastrophe,” Battah grinned. “I told you he was in the adult education program, right?” She waited for Elizabeth to nod, all-the-while choking on her own laughter. “Well, we finally got around to talking about what he studies.” Giggles began to emerge, making her slur her words. “That yummy little Brad-Pitt-in-Thelma-and-Louise I was drooling over is here studying to become a priest!”
“Oh, no!” Elizabeth sat back and burst into laughter of her own. “What did you do?”
“Oh, I merely suggested that an in-depth knowledge of temptation and sin might help in his work. I even offered to give him a guided tour.”
“You didn’t!” It was purely rhetorical; knowing Battah, Elizabeth was quite sure she had. “What did he say?”
“I thought I heard ‘get thee behind me’, but he was running the other way, so I could be wrong.”
If Elizabeth hadn’t already finished her drink, she’d have choked...
Justin has Vampire Lust...
Justin sighed. He longed to go to Elizabeth, to comfort her, to caress her, but he could not, and so he remained outside, just below her window, watching and listening. He thought of her silky red hair and dancing blue eyes. His mouth filled with the bittersweet taste of longing. The first flush of dawn chased him away, but before he left, he thrust a note beneath her window sash.
I have watched from the shadows;
you are brighter than sunlight.
It might have been more poetic than literal, but he meant it truly; hers was a warmth that would not burn him to ash – though it did seem to have seared its way into his heart.
Justin – the first bite...
Justin looked at Elizabeth , blue eyes bright with passion; his hands shook. “Are you sure?”
She took his face in her hands, drew him near for a kiss as she gazed into his blue eyes. His fangs fully extended; she traced them with her tongue, loving the taste of him. “I am.” It felt like a vow. “I love you.” Elizabeth ran her fingers through his dark brown hair then pulled him to her.
He stood it as long as he could, then another moment longer. But finally he had to move, or come undone.
Justin trailed kisses along her collarbone, nibbled her earlobe, making his way to the nape of her neck. Elizabeth moaned beneath his attention, the sound making him shake with yearning, thirst, desire, and love. He hesitated for one eternal moment, fangs extended to their full length, throbbing, dripping the essence of his need onto Elizabeth , her perfect skin glistening in the dim light. Slowly, but with nothing of uncertainty – he bit down not quite tenderly, knowing she would enjoy the feel of his teeth – but carefully to cause no pain. His fangs sank within her, pressed home, revealing incredible sensations for both lovers, a new consummation. Her heartbeat raced through them both. Elizabeth kept her back straight and her shoulders remained still, but her thighs and hips rolled sensuously as music moved through her and her blood sang...
Here's my midieval one:
Medieval Passion describes the timeless romance of the ever so whimsical Lady Elizabeth and Mairikia Malicedee, heir to one of the largest, most magnificent estates in all of England.
Sit back and relax as you journey back through the ages to the regal setting of the late 1400s… a time of courage, honor, chivalry and true romance!
Chapter One ... Lady Elizabeth, Battah and Laika the wonder cat
"What's that look for?" Elizabeth asked.
Battah merely shrugged, concealing her face from Lady Elizabeth as she bent down and began to pet Laika. "All I'm saying is that you should give the Marquis a chance," Battah defended.
"A chance?" Elizabeth repeated angrily, her blue eyes ablaze. "Tomorrow I am to be officially betrothed and in less than a week I will be Lord Coventry's wife!"
"Well, that gives you seven days to grow to like him." Battah replied with a devilish grin. But Elizabeth only glared back.
'A week,' Laika thought, surveying the floor for fallen bits of pork rind. 'Seven days of feasting and then on to our new Lord's castle in Coventry to retire to a life of luxury. What more could a cat possibly ask for? What more could Elizabeth want...' Laika jumped up onto the bed and stretched out once again.
"Don't you worry sweetheart," Elizabeth whispered, gently pulling Laika closer, "I'll find a way to get us out of this, you just wait and see. We won't go to some big old castle in Coventry without a fight."
'Does this mean there won't be a banquet?' Laika wondered in dismay, but the fire in the hearth had been reduced to glowing embers and snuggling against the warm body of Lady Elizabeth was far too much for any cat to resist. Laika slowly drifted off...
Chapter Three... Elizabeth & Mairikia - the first encounter
...A rut in the road caused the carriage to lurch violently and Lady Elizabeth was flung backward, her hands grasping for the satin upholstery over her head. But again it was Mairikia that saved the day, catching Elizabeth up in his arms as the carriage careened over the rut, finally righting itself onto the pathway.
Gathered in a reckless embrace Elizabeth held to Mairikia, golden tassels twisted against the length of her fingers in one hand, blonde locks of his hair in the other. In the midst of her own ill considerations of him, she discovered in fear that she relished the touch of this bold Marquis ... more than what the love of another man would readily grant forgiveness.
Elizabeth lost the strength to ask that Mairikia stop as his lips reached the curve of her neck. She felt his royal hands explore her bare legs beneath the cover of her gown. Beyond all sense of reason, his lips met with hers, eager for her unforeseen delicacies ...
Chapter Ten .. Love triumphs for Lady Elizabeth & Mairikia
...Rose petals lay scattered across the bed and the sweet scent of roses overwhelmed them. Mairikia slowly moved his hand, tracing the gentle slant of her shoulder, the delicate curve of her neck and the sweep of her jaw. Softly, Mairikia brushed a lock of auburn hair from her forehead as he looked into her breath-taking blue eyes.
"We've already wasted so many nights," Mairikia admitted, gathering Elizabeth in his strong arms.
Elizabeth gazed back, and in a whisper replied, "What is but one night in the history of England, my lord..."
Mairikia finished the sentence, "...but another night stolen from our bed."
Elizabeth could feel the beating of his heart and the warmth of his desire surround her. She reached up and tilted his head, bringing him closer, his mouth a breath away as she uttered the words that would keep Mairikia with her, warmly by her side for the length of the night and forever...
And here's my Western one:
In the 1800s, Pandora Kaiio is the savvy, stunning saloon owner who, on the advice of her best friend Mandy, dares to give love one more chance. When Dan Adkie rides into town on the rails of the new railroad, his smile steals our heroine's heart - but his holster is loaded with a secret that could blast away her livelihood!
Can Pandora trust a man who may ultimately destroy her? Will Dan choose business or pleasure before his secret is revealed? Saddle up for love, passion and humor!
Pandora had to admit he was a rather attractive man, neatly attired in denim and leather. She scanned his athletic frame and stopped at an arresting pair of blue eyes peeking out beneath a rather large cowboy hat, set atop dark brown hair. The stranger approached the bar, wearing a smoldering smile across a handsomely rugged jaw.
"What can I do for you?" she said coolly.
"What's your specialty," he flirted, leaning against the bar, flashing his big blues.
"Sarcasm," was the sharp reply. "Care for a double?" Pandora had spent the morning cleaning the saloon's eaves troughs and was feeling filthy, embarrassed and annoyed all at the same time. She was in no mood for flirtation.
Put in his place, Dan cleared his throat and introduced himself as Dan Adkie, a foreman with the Grand Humber railroad. "Ma'am, just call me Dan," he said, trying to make amends.
"Well the guy you're looking for? The hotel manager? That's me. I'm also the owner, Pandora Kaiio," she said coolly, giving a little and extending her hand.
Pandora and Mandy discussing Dan the hottie!
So distracted was Pandora by her conversation with Dan that she had forgotten Mandy awaited her return on the other side of the kitchen door. Her friend leaned against the stove, arms folded with an amused grin on her lips. With a concerned look barely masking a huge smirk, Mandy asked, "What's that in your eye?"
Pandora stopped and blinked her blue eyes - she didn't seem to have anything in her eye, but before she could reply Mandy broke in with a smile. "I think it's a twinkle!"
"Did you listen to our entire discussion?" Pandora scolded.
"Well, yeah," Mandy replied.
After Mandy took care of one of the saloon's patrons, the two old friends gossiped in the kitchen about the evening's events.
"He's okay if you like that type," Mandy said.
"Oh, you still see Dan as that type?"
"No, a different type now," she elaborated. "Y'know, the charming, handsome, gentlemanly type. You're right. I think I've changed my mind. I want him for myself now!" They chuckled youthfully and Pandora felt the heat rise in the kitchen or did she just blush?
Pandora and Dan - a late night surprise
Dan was completely distracted by the vision before him. Pandora stood against a tree, the breeze blowing her robe open exposing her thin cotton nightdress, making it clear there was little or nothing between her haloed body and the white fabric. Pandora suddenly became very conscious of that same fact. The combination of the cool breeze, her moment of fright and the excitement of a man's forbidden gaze made her skin tingle and her breasts strain against her night shirt. In the shadows she could not see his eyes drift over her shapely body, but she could feel them just the same.
"Are you cold?" Dan said, breaking the awkward silence. He removed his overcoat and carried it to Pandora, the moonlight reflecting majestically off her red hair.
"Yes, thank you," she replied. Her hands were cold but there was a warmth building from within. Every other part of her body seemed confused by the circumstances...
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