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Before I Get into a huge conversation with myself about absolutely nothing at all, please allow me to update you and tell you whats been bothering me.

~~~UPDATE~~~

I Have been feeling slightly under the weather, but I haven't been constantly posting status after status about it explaining in detail about the problems...because I dont feel its anyone's business but my own, its just I have come to a point in my life where my brain cant seem to take anything else in without a need to release what I have built up...so that is why this note has even been created.

life has been hell, as anyone else would probably agree, it has been dreadful and lonely...the folks who I thought would stay slipped away and the ones who promised to remain by my side suddenly vanished without a trace.

a while ago, I had a mental break down and everything just fell one by one on top of me....it was getting so damn hard to breathe and I seriously thought that it would have been "curtains" for dear o' Hannabal Marie. :/ but before I get into detail...allow me to start off from the beginning.....

It was one of those days where you just wake up, get out of bed and you stump your fucking toe. you simply KNOW its going to be a bad day from then on....and it was soo....before anything extremely bad happend, it started off with small little annoying things like neighbors being rude assholes and quoting biblical passages towards you...having randoms scream "its not halloween" as you attempt to have a good day with your folks at a store. and merely not having the right amount of fucking change to buy a small little can of fucking arizona tea! D:

and since reality wasn't my cup of tea (haha) I decided to join my friends on the interweb in hopes they will make my life a tad bit more happier....bad move on my part...when I logged into facefuck.com I was flooded with inbox messages from folks who I tried to help make their lives a little better...they asked for advice and I gave it to them from the kindness of my heart...and what for? to be bitched at, thats what!!! all because I wanted to help....NO MORE I SAY!!! I am done trying to help folks who only reply with sarcastic comments when in reality you were just trying to cheer them up! you want my advice now?? well here you go!!!!

1) "I am so depressed...life is so hard, I dont think I can go on"

A) EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, ITS LIFE...IF I COULD TAKE A FUCKING PILL TO MAKE ME HAPPY EVERY HOUR ON THE DOT I FUCKING WOULD!!! I AM PRETTY DAMN SURE THAT IF YOU KNEW ABOUT MY PAST AND HOW I LIVED YOUR DEPRESSION WOULD BE GONE AND IN ITS PLACE WOULD BE YOUR DEPRESSION FOR ME....BECAUSE MY LIFE IS ONE FUCKED UP ONE! BUT DO YOU SEE ME COMPLAINING? NO!! YES, I WILL ADMIT THERE ARE TIMES I GET DEPRESSED...I DO COMPLAIN ONCE IN A WHILE ABOUT IT...BUT FOR HOW LONG? NOT THAT LONG AT ALL ACTUALLY....I TRY TO HAVE A SMILE ACROSSED MY FACE AND BRING LAUGHTER EVERYWHERE I GO...EVEN IF FOLKS TRY TO PISS ON MY LAUGHTER...I STILL TRY MY BEST TO KEEP IT!!!

IF YOU ARE EVER IN THAT FRAME OF MIND THAT "YOUR LIFE IS WORSE THEN ANYONE ELSES" JUST SLAP YOURSELF OKAY? BECAUSE I AM SURE NOT MANY FOLKS CAN OWN A FUCKING IPAD AND IPOD AND ALL THOSE FUCKING "I" RELATED ITEMS AND REMAIN DEPRESSED! WANT TO SEE REAL SUFFERING? LOOK AT THE POOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO REBUILD FROM SCRACH IN JAPAN BECAUSE OF THAT EVIL FLOOD!!! OR THE POOR CHILDREN SLEEPING IN THE STREETS...OR THE HUNGRY KIDS GOING MONTHS WITHOUT A SCRAP OF FOOD! OR EVEN THAT POOR CHILD WHO WAS MURDERED BY YOUR MOTHER, AND THE ONLY BEST REVENGE SHE HAS IS KNOWING HER MUM IS ONLY GETTING 1 YEAR IN PRISON! D:

2) "I want to kill myself"

A) LOOK ATTENTION SEEKER....SUICIDE ISN'T SOMETHING TO BE MAKING JOKES ABOUT....I AM SURE THAT IF YOU WERE REALLY WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF, YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SO ALREADY...YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN POSTING STATUS AFTER STATUS SAYING THE SAME DAMN THING. DOING SO JUST MAKES PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE WANTING OTHER FOLKS TO GIVE YOU PRAISE AND GLORY WITH THE FACT THEY "LOVE" YOU ENOUGH TO WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE OKAY...AND WHEN FOLKS TRY TO HELP YOU GET ALL BITCHY WITH THEM. KNOWING YOU, YOUR PROBABLY POSTING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND REFRESHING THE PAGE IN HOPES TO GET FEEDBACK!! ITS PATHETIC!!!! SO IF YOUR GOING TO DO IT, AS I HAVE KNOWN MANY WHO HAVE....JUST DO IT....DONT TALK ABOUT IT...BECAUSE I COULD SIT HERE AND TRY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND BUT KNOWIN YOU...YOU WONT ACCEPT MY ADVICE AND ONLY FIND IT AS SOMETHING "EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS" SO WHY WASTE MY BREATH TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU? YOU CANT CONVINCE A MIND THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN CONVINCED! :)

3) "my parents dont understand me"

A) MOST OF THE TIME, THIS IS SAID BY KIDDIES WHO HAVE LOVING AND WONDERFUL PARENTS...AND ITS SAD TO SAY, BUT THAT IS HOW PARENTS ARE!!! THEY WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR PARENTS...NO MATTER HOW RUDE THEY ARE, THEY WILL DO THEIR BEST TO BE CONCERNED IN YOUR LIFE...AND PERHAPS YOUR TO YOUNG YOURSELF TO BE MAKING DECISIONS THAT WILL SCAR YOU FOREVER....BECAUSE I KNOW QUITE A FEW TEENS NOWADAYS WHO HAVE NOT THE SLIGHTEST CLUE WHY THEY WANT SOMETHING OTHER THAN BECAUSE "IT MAKES THEM LOOK COOL" AND THAT IS THE BIGGEST NO-NO EVER! AND TO THOSE WHO HAVE EVIL/SADIST/RUDE PARENTS...I AM SORRY...BUT THERE IS NO CHANGING THEM OR CONVINCING THEM...THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS RESPECT THEM AND GIVE THEM THEIR SPACE...SHRUG OFF THE CRAP THEY THROW AT YOU AND CONTINUE WITH YOUR LIFE...BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING AND ITS SOMETHING POSITIVE, THEN CONTINUE DOING IT WITH PASSION!!! YOU DONT NEED ANYONE'S ACCEPTANCE BUT YOUR OWN!

4) and lastly, "people always make fun of me...they call me all sorts of names"

A) FUCK WHAT PEOPLE SAY!! WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO BE? YOU OR THEM???? IF THEY CALL YOU A FREAK...SMILE AND DEMAND THEY GIVE YOU ANOTHER!!! BECAUSE HONEY...ITS THE WEIRD AND ODD THAT GET RECONGIZED IN THIS CRAP HOLE OF A WORLD WE CALL LIFE! LOVE YOURSELF, IF NOT YOU...THEN WHO WILL??? ITS NOT THE NAMES THAT YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT...ITS WHAT YOU ANSWER TOO!!!

so anywho, those are my "fed up" answers to some of you who like to be dicks to me....

so that pissed me off as well as noticing that the gal whom I was obsessed over my whole highschool year, finally added me as a friend on here a while back....only to my amazement found she was married and she moved far away from where I live....without a warning of some kind, nothing. its not like she couldnt have said a simple goodbye to me, after all for the longest time she always mentioned she knew where I lived....ehh..

and all my friends from highschool, the small selected few I had, are all deciding to move away as well....WHY IS EVERYONE FUCKING MOVING AWAY???? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!?!?!?!



AND...to add on top of all this shit, I stumpled upon a ex boyfriend's profile (well not really "stumpled" but more on the lines of curiousity hitting me) and it been a while since I last spoke with him, sad to say its true..even after he promised he wouldn't become a stranger to me, but now he is! :/ like I wrote last time, the phone calls stopped coming, the love was becoming more and more less and now we are this.....distant memories of what would have been, what could have been...and what SHOULD have been! :/ I know folks, I should take some of your advice and "forget" him...I am trying....but its so damn hard! V___V its hard to neglect something you felt so passionately about! his reasons and false hopes are still ringing in my ears...making it hard to even think anymore! I fear I will never be able to view another man the same without comparing him to this other guy who "got away" :/

ANYWHO, I went to his profile and (at this time nothing was extremely bad just yet...) what I seen just fucked everything all up for me...him talking to another gal the way he used to....to me! saying "maybe....just maybe...but I will have to see where this goes" I know some of you will be looking at the sentence in confusion but I know what he means...its weird to say this but I understood him to a perfect fucking "T" I guess it was the whole "love" thing! :/

what I seen wasn't just some lifeless sentence...no, I seen all my dreams being shattered at once....like rows of mirrors falling to the floor! what I read was in fact...

"I WANT TO BE WITH HER...MAYBE I WILL ASK HER OUT...BUT I WILL CONTINUE SPEAKING TO HER AND SEE IF SHE IS 'RIGHT' FOR ME"

in other words...they will be the happy little hunky dory couple....but what about me? what about everything he promised me??? oh she is oh so perfect with her blonde hair, baby blue eyes and skinny physique....and having her live so damn close to you...ah I can see how everything is just so damn PERFECT!!! maybe its my jealousy or maybe its just a loose screw in my head but I AM TEARING APART INSIDE!!!

maybe its love that is left for him or maybe its just sheer mind numbing jealousy that is making me feel this way seeing how I am lonely and in need of physical companionship! D: but every person I meet seems to either not be right to me, or are either to busy in their own life to even pay attention to me! :/ or to even notice I like them! V__V

anywho, I went through a sort of "mental breakdown" but only to make me come out of it even more aware and better and stronger! :)

so thats basically turning a frown upside down! :D

NOW ONTO THE RAMBLES-

1) DICK/RICHARD? how is DICK short for RICHARD?? I dont know but it just doesnt seem to make sense! Does richard know something we dont? is he secretly in love with Dick so the only obvious thing he would do is to tell folks that "Dick" is short for his name, because it makes him feel as if he is closer to his beloved!?!?!! :P

2) friends- never really liked the concept of 'friends' over 'family' thing....to be honest, friends are nothing better than a group of useless folks just holding you down from doing things you love. they will lie to you, tell you rumors about either someone else or the one you are dating in a petty attempt to fuck the one your with, and they just are THERE!! if you dont "hang out" with them every friday, then they assume you hate them...if you dont speak about how AWSUM and AMAZIN they are..they will think you dont like them...and if you go some where, even to the fucking store with your parents without contacting them first then they automatically think something is up! why is it in our human nature to consider people "friends" the first time meeting each other? why do we work so damn hard on making them to begin with instead of focusing on things we should be doing...like a goal with our life, better yourself and those you love...and things of this nature. these "friends" will just stab you in the back when your not looking, they will talk crap about you to someone else, and if something better comes along..they will ditch you in a heartbeat without a second thought. dont get me wrong, I do have some buddies who are important to me on here and in real life...but they are NOTHING like the folks im talking about...true friends wouldnt give a damn if its been months to years without talking...they will pick up right where they left off and act as if we were never seperated at all! they will be there even if you dont need them too, to help you out. they will know when is a right time to be serious and when isnt. I am more than blessed to have people like this in my life!!!! :)



3) LOVE- and lastly, LOVE.....there are so many levels of love that it's sickening. there is a love for a car, or object....a love for a pet like a cat or dog...and then there is the love for your family members, like your brother, mother, sis, father, aunt, uncle...ect...ect....and lastly, love for the other sex. but even within love itself, there are other emotions within making you believe it could be "love" like for instance, love for the other sex...perhaps this is what the concept of "love at first sight" came from...this "LOVE" is none other than "LUST"...people confuse the two all the time....they think they are in dire need to be with them because they LOVE THEM but when in fact it was nothing more than a quick stiffy in the guys pants. the love part doesnt come so quickly, as I am a victim of knowing that all to well....the moment of "love" quickly fades away when the next best thing comes along. and then the gal, who was stupid to believe all those lovely words of hopes and truths...sitting like a lovesick puppy dog in the rain...hoping he just might come back....but like I said before, he never will come back....little does the puppy know her owner just "got rid" of her!

so people...before you jump to conclusions on what is love or what isn't....know what level you are considering this "love" based on before you jump into the wagon! :)

xoxo

Thanks for reading....

Hannabal Marie

COMMENTS

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loves2bite2
00:21 Nov 06 2011

i'm not really sure if my life was as bad as yours seem to be but i understand how bad depression can get without any warning



i really hope you wont give up trying to help ppl because even being able to help one person make all the other shit worth while

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POST COMMENT

It has been about 3 years since I havent had a man to call my own....and to be honest, its getting quite lonely....I haven't went out with someone since, well...my very last boyfriend...and frankly, he wasn't much of a physical bf since we were only mere online daters! :/

I miss the bond, the shared moments...the hopes and dreams...and of course that special moment that two lovely people share! and its coming to the point I feel I will never find someone....I hear it all the time, "oh dont worry, someone is out there for you..you only need to wait" but how LONG will I need to wait before that someone comes? and if so who is to say I will know for sure that this "someone" is the "one"....what if I never find him and end up being alone for more years to come....and dying some old crazy lady in a nursery home who talks to her cats and nibbles on dog food!?!?! D:



and I have only one thing to blame for this: ME! I never went out with someone due to my own selfish thoughts of not being "good enough" and then thinking that he would never like me.....because again, He is too good for me....



and this lovely pharse: "some words are better left unsaid"



that was a statement I used to live by, at least with relationships...due to rejection, failure and all this....but now that I think about it...the person with doubts and fears and lost dreams came up with this statement...and I don't want to be one of those selected few who live by "what ifs". to me its just a sorry excuse for not trying....yes, rejection is bad but living in fear of not knowing what might happen/could happen/would happen....is so much more worse! the worst that CAN happen is being told "NO"...at least you can know where you stand and you can go about your way if he feels this way about you....but frankly, its alot more better than never knowing at all!



I would much rather try and see where we stand...if we could be something more than friends....and if not? then I can smile and try again!



dont get me wrong, Im not saying im going to jump on the next passerby and scream "OH DADDY...COME TO MAMA!!!" and nearly rape the poor fella...no, at least not on the first date! ;D haha xD



no but what im trying to say is im going to stop thinking this way about myself...and try.....at LEAST try to see if things can work out between us! :) but the only problem......WHO???? D: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! oh pretty eyes...if only you liked me too! :'(



something just needs to happen quick...because cartoon guys are starting to look SEXY TO ME!!!! D: its only a matter of time before my parents stumble upon me making out with a print out of mickey mouses face! D: haha xD

When im bored, I do what any normal gal my age would do...I pop on some tunes and write, write, write....not just any tunes but the lovely soundtrack of Repo! The Genetic Opera! (fuck yeah) ahaha



and I type away like some nerd doing some essay to kiss the royal ass of his teacher...and I like to refer to myself as a male nerd because well...I can...and I cant help it...and plus im to lazy to hit the "delete" key and erase the mistake of me even typing "he" rather than "she" and now im just ranting on about this and I hope your happy! XD haha and dont even get me started on TEACHERS!!! WHY DO THEY ACT LIKE THEY ARE SO SUPERIOR THAN YOU??? THEY ARE NOT GODS!!! SHEESH!!! X'D they are no better than a woman trying to make ends meet by working for burger king. you know what they say? those who cant do, TEACH!!!



anywho onto what I wanted to rant about: LIFE!!!





time changes everything, friends become enemies and some enemies become friends, those who once were strangers even become family members! :) lovers come and go only to leave you heart broken and wanting more...crushes never cease to be made...pain never seems to end. hardships and struggles keep piling on like bills. but one thing, reguardless of what life throws at me, one thing that wont change is my love of laugher....and the times I share with the ones I love...even if they may seem like bad memories, its those kind that will remain forever. dont think of them as something that "shouldnt have happend" but rather another step to becoming more wiser and better at what you do! :) we all live and we all learn, we all know this...do we not? babies become parents and parents become elders and elders disappear as fast as a blink of an eye. you might see a crying child before you...and it might drive you mad to hear them cry...but cherish those moments...because these small moments in life are all we will have to hold onto. :) because sooner or later that child will be an adult and out of your life for good. children....love your parents, cherish them to peices, hug them every second of every day, tell them how much they mean to you...even if they are bad parents...two wrongs cant make a right. my father was abused by his mother, brutally abused but at the end of the day, when she realized what she was doing was wrong they forgave and forgot.....but before they could see each other again, she died. and he crys, even to this day, that he could have told her "i love you" one last time... if my father could take those beatings and take those names and threats I know half of you can take whatever your going through. parents are human, they know not what stupidity they do. because when they die, you will wish you could have said that last "i love you" and shared a few moments together. from the cradle to the grave!!! the mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death. so either walk away or jump in with a spoon! :)

You guys said rude things about the freaky gal in school.You know,at the time it was all fun and games...perhaps she deserved it....perhaps she didn't. you did this to look funny or cool, but sadly it just shows your pathetic as the one whom your joking about! ;)I hope your sulking in your sorrows at the notion this gal is now ten times a person than you would ever be...she is on to bigger and better things...she is making something of herself...she continued to follow what you joked about only to ensure that in the end of the day, if your "hating" on her, she MUST be doing something right...and guess what? SHE WAS RIGHT!!! but what of you? your nothing just like you were the time you spat your words. :) what did you benefit from your joke making mister/missus jokester? ;D hmmm??

you said she wouldnt amount to anything, but why is her name the only one people seem to be remembering nowadays? ;)

yes, you tried the same things on her best friends, those two "gay" boys....and sadly, your shit talk succeeded....and they killed themselves over it. I bet your happy!! and I bet this gal isnt going to stop, not for you...not for anyone....and I bet this gal is going to continue her path only to show that being a tad bit weird and freaky CAN make a huge impact on society....and I bet she is doing it for those two besties that passed brutally away....how can I know? Well for one...I AM THAT GAL!!! ;)



so again...your jokes and threats and backstabbing was to make you look AWESOME and FUNNY....well then my friends...

Your SOOOOOO COOL! *rolls eyes* XD haha

okay, if you all know me, then you know that I am not normal....and nor do I wish to be....and if you ever had the lovely luxury of meeting me in person then you will deffiantely know that I am not normal! XD

it hasnt been for quite some time when I had a crush on a stupid cartoon...and well, one day I was cleaning out my lovely little room when I stumbled upon a box set of Inuyasha....and I popped it in and watched since it was been a LIFETIME since I done so.....well I watched a good box and a half until a certain male character caught my attention...call me stupid or dumb all you want but it was toon love at first sight, (well for me that is) haha most kiddies this day and age would stumble upon a old porn mag or movie and find true love with their pee-pees...but I found it in a cartoon, dont judge me! XD

the guys name is KOGA and he is the leader or the demon-wolf tribe....he is sexy beyond anyone's understandment and HE IS A FUCKING CARTOON....GOD I HAVE PROBLEMS..IM WORSE THAN MY EX WHO FAPPED TO SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS....(it was something with the nose, I JUST KNOW IT haha) ((sad thing is I wish I was joking, but im not hahhahahahaa))

anywho, when I was having my lusty moments with this said cartoon....nearly devouring the tv with my eyes everytime he was on....i started to realize....."damn I have seen this anime before, but why haven't I noticed him like I do now?" then it hit me, like a bottle to the head of justin beiber.....(hehe) I was to young to even care, hell I probably didnt even like boys back when I was heavily into this.....(I know...sad sad thing to think about huh? xD haha) then I started to think, "holy crap, so the whole time I was watching it...i was actually into the action and fighting and story-line?? holy crap what a sad soul I was!!" no wonder I hid it under my bed, probably after a few episodes, I chucked it under their and said buh bye....because we all know DAMN well us women get into these animes because of the cute looking guys...and we pretend we are the main girl in them...or whatever girl who is in love with the one who we like...and then we visualize them in our bedrooms doing sinful things to their bodies..........errr....maybe thats just me!!!! O.o HOLY CRAP DO YOU HEAR ME???? COME ON HANNAH...ITS A FUCKING CARTOON!!!! V___V

anywhoooooo.....there is no point to this note other than to tell you all my new obsession, which is over a cartoon named Koga.............gawd, I can already see it....me locked up in a insane asylum licking a fucking picture of Koga....talking to it......making this picture my boyfriend...hopefully taking it to the other level and marrying the picture and havng me pop out a bunch of paper doll children! :D yepp....a normal life for han han! XD haha

ANYWHOOOOOOOOOOO..............take a moment, think things over before you jump to a conclusion of thinking im some sick loon who needs to stay away from you....and think to yourself.....have you ever felt this way about a cartoon???? because I am sure about half of you, sometime in your little lives, have felt this way..this lusty, sick, sexual way over a stupid cartoon.....so SHUT UP!!!!

V________V now I know why the person who made up Hentai did so....these cartoon guys are HOT!!! XD hahaa



and if you STILL have no clue what i'm talking about, I suggest you trot on over to the good o' google and type in "koga from Inuyasha" and he should pop up...but remember....HE IS MINE!!! XD haha

Its a sad state to be in, when this is how the world works...let me tell you all a story about a guy and a girl....we shall call the guy Mister Man and the girl Miss Girl...

Miss girl loved Mister man, but mister man didn't feel the same way towards her. dont get him wrong, he LIKED her, but thats as far as it went...yet they both decided to go out. Miss girl did everything in her power to show Mister man how much he meant to her but Mister man just couldn't see....was blinded by the past and blinded by another girl, Miss Lady. He LOVED miss lady, Miss girl knew this...because that was all he ever spoke about when he was with her, until the dreadful day when they broke up.

The sad thing is Miss Girl is still HIGHLY in love with Mister Man, yet he probably doesnt know or at least seem to care, how could Miss girl be like Miss lady?? Miss girl knew there was no way in hell to make Mister Man love her as much as he loved Miss Lady...so why try?? Miss Lady broke his heart one to many times...yet mister man keeps trying to be with her simply because she is his one and only true love. and how do you think Miss Girl feels about this? she feels like complete and total hammered shit...She feels like the lovesick puppy dog that the child doesn't want to touch ever since his mother bought him a new toy, yet the child loves on that teddy bear that stares back with a blank stare, not even caring how much the child tells it how much he loves it...it wouldn't care less simply because it isn't real...it isn't like that puppy who feels, hears and tastes...yet the puppy knows that if that child was to put the teddy down for one second and show the puppy a simple minute of attention, the puppy would come crawling back to him with her tail between her legs...for one reason and one alone....Loyalty. The puppy loves the child, has always loved the child...even if the child grows up to abuse it, the puppy will look up at the owner with those big glossy eyes and still be as submissive as ever.

So again back to the story, Miss girl is still in love with Mister Man, but she is not Miss Lady, nor will she ever be any time soon. She knows that if for some odd reason Mister Man ends up being with her that he could simply not love her as much as he loved Miss Lady. how could he? when it clearly shows he gave all his love to Miss Lady, so what would be left for Miss Girl to hold onto??

A Part of Miss Girl wants to scream on the tippity top of her lungs directly at him "I LOVE YOU, ME RIGHT HERE, I'M OVER HERE...THIS GIRL, NO NEED TO SEARCH ANYMORE BECAUSE I WOULD GLADLY DIE FOR YOU, I FUCKING LOVE YOU" but then again, Miss Girl knows that if she does, she would only be making a fool of herself when it would clearly show she would only be second best.

thanks for reading...this was fun

xoxo

Hannabal Marie

"friends" what is a friend to begin with?? they tell you what you should do, they ruin good things, they talk behind your back yet act like everything is fine and dandy...if given the chance they would walk out of your life and never turn back.



i never truly had a best friend...i once believed i did, but like everyone else he decided to leave me alone in a world so scary and harmful...never to see his smiling face again. so i tell you, once you been lied to by a stranger claiming themselves of being your "friend" what is left of them but a lifeless body they present? what love and admiration can be seen in them anymore?



this, along with other reasons altogether, is why i dont want to have "friends"..i dont want to hang out with anyone other than the small selected few i know....i dont trust anyone like i once used to. all they do is hurt you and lie in your face just to make themselves feel better.



and to those of you who are thinking, "well, what would you call the ones you speak to so politely with then?" i call them nothing....i merely call them people whom i like, the ones whom i can talk with and agree or disagree...i call them by their name....not by some false label...just in case they end up doing to me what has been done so many times already by people claiming friendship...so i cant be hurt in the longrun.



so to all of you who are in need to make "friends" i tell you, are you serious?

do you want someone that will always lie to you? do you want someone who will only be in the way? do you really need someone to tell you that you look great...or tell you that the person whom your dating shouldnt be given a chance because in reality they actually wish they could be with them.

so i tell you once more, are you serious?



be your own best friend, be the best friend you could possibly be to your siblings, to your lover, to your mother and father...work on you before you try to work on others.

because in the words of Rupaul,

"if you dont love yourself...how the HELL are you going to love someone else"

and that works well with friendship, how the hell are you going to be a devoted friend, if you dont like yourself!



this was fun...lets do this again sometime



xoxo

Hannabal Marie

...YOU KNOW YOU TRUELY CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU DON'T...when life gives you nothing expect everything, when life gives you everything expect nothing...trying to live trying to love wishing not to hate, hoping to heal...edward cullen's a gay homo who loves jacob...Music is my life...Now kiss me one last time, And bring me back to life...i whisper "i love you" you scream "i hate you"....i'm probably in the sky, flying with the fish or maybe in the ocean, swimming with the pigeons see my world is different...IN WITH A BULLET OUT WITH THE HEARTS...hate is the enemy of love, love is the enemy of him....i walk down a darkened ally darkened by the world around us...chew me up and spit me out but i'd still love you with out a doubt...A simple kiss to make this story end...Look in my eyes, am I shaking now? I am all you fear, have I made myself clear?...They found you covered up in blood, Covered head to toe in blood, Face first in a tale of awkward love...take a knive and cut me up if you love me you won't stop, make me feel the pain within as your slitting through my skin...We walked through the rain And the night became silent, Sleep fell over the sky And I swear I've never seen anything so beautifully dark...In the darkness I will Creep, Forever I will never sleep, Haunting, Taunting, Demons thrive within my weak and battered mind. I want you all to remember me, But sadly the day has no memory. So I'll lay within my bed, Untill the sun rises again. Laying in fear of whats within, The Demons who have just come in...those tears i see you cry every night have nothing to do with how much you hurt, it has to do with why you've been hurt, in your heart you know your not alone but in a hell hole like this you can't help but see no one cares, truth is that if u die your soul rests in the hands of something beyond our foul lives...love love love i write in a pool of my own blood because love is what has done this to me i've loved since i was little and love has torn me to peices but i'll tell you this don't live within this portal for you'll never be immortal...With wings of dark crimson A dragon flies overhead But nobody in the busy city Pays attention to the massive form, Too busy to care they Pass it off as a jet plane. A winged horse gallops Through a crowded park, Its coat a shimmering white But nobody cares to look up, Too busy with their lives To observe this pegasus' flight. On a street corner a burning Red phoenix prepares for its pyre But nobody around takes The time to even glance. Too busy checking the time To see the reincarnated fire. People in this world laugh At the mention of magic And never stop to notice That acts of wonder happen Everyday, everywhere right In front of their eyes!!!...oh soft bed oh comfy bed i long for you oh comfy bed i long for your existence oh i love you soft comfy bed with a spot for my head how i long for a pillow a pillow that feels lke a marshmellow...





~scarlet blood

that feel so right

dream of that blood

trickling down

and wake up

just before you drown~





...if you think about it love doesnt exist If it did than lots of people would have found love. why is that boys tease girls? is it because they like them? or is it because they have nothing better to do? so when times get hard remember that loves doesnt exist and without love there'd be no hurt and with no hurt we'd have no reason to tease anyone and if theres no reason to tease then many wouldn't have a reason to take the gun and pull the trigger if there was love many would do nothing but love or draw there life out on there wrists...I don't fear death because I know the man. And he's got nothing special against me. But I am afraid of not living enough to have a good tale to tell him, on the long walk back home...Can I let the trees do the talking Can I let the ground do the walking Can I let the sky fill what's missing?...



~I don't feel sadness,

nor fear or guilt.

I don't feel worthless,

trashy or even here.

I feel like i'm floating,

on a cloud in the sky.

I feel like im no longer

watching life pass me by.

I don't have to pretend,

or wear a plastred on smile.

Instead i'll be yours,

hopefully for longer than a little while~...





As I stare through these tears, I see your lips start to turn. This world is so un-perfect, this love is so un-worth it...

What is death but an escape from this world? What is love but something to cause you pain? What is a friend but a weakness? What am i but a simple human? I can do no good, i can make no differences, i can make no change but i can try!...



when life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and scream "BITCH I ASKED FOR ORANGES!!!!"

:))

i am insane, i know...but these should be the quotes of your lives!! :D

Hello My Friends and Fans....Here Again For Your daily Fill Of My Insanity I Assume.....Well What Has Been Running Through My Mind Is Less Freaky Than It Used To Be.....I Guess. haha. So Without Further Delay....I Hope You Like Part (whatever the hell it is now) Of My Randomness Written Down For You All To See!!



DREAMS:

i have been told numberous times that "dreams" these illusions of the mind are our subconscience telling us what we desire and/or want. that it is basically are very minds that are giving us these "images" of things we most want in life and so on. but what doesnt get me is this, if dreams are our minds way of telling us we want something why is it so easy for us to forget them? why cant we remember what we last dreampt about??? or another thing that really ticks me off is, if dreams are our wants and desires than what does our nightmares mean? many will come to the conclusion that nightmares are our fears and then go along with life ever so happily.....even though that may be half right i think there is something missing....something more further down in the skin of reason....something only those who want to try to believe can see.....what if our nightmares are also our sadistic desires and wants....as well. when you dream about killing a man its okay, because its your dream and therefore you can not get in trouble (unless you wanted too). so we react these sorts of dreams to fill our void of disgusting sadisticness and pleasure our sinful minds.....because you see, we were raised to fear these things, to avoid them and to shun them away like a stray dog. in so doing, made our lust for these things increase.............i dont know, maybe its my own fucked up mind.....but i can proudly state that yes, it excites me beyond repair, to dream about killing a man.....i probably wont do so in reality seeing how one could get in loads of trouble for it...but it excites me to see blood shed. okay i need to stop this discussion or it will be more than a small PG-13 description for you!!! XD





TWILIGHT:

vampires.....the media has literally anal fucked the idea and concept of what true vampires were all about.....they were disgusting beings that the world FEARED....true creatures of the night....when i was a little girl i could literally be afraid of going to my big dark room alone thinking that if i made a peep one of those scary vampires would pop out of nowhere and drain me of my marrow. (not that i wouldnt like it, hehe)

i remember vampires being this fucked up silhouette of a person, practically one with the shadows but now they are these fairy sparklers with the insatiable lust for penis. what happend? what changed over time? how did we go from Nosferatu to Edward cullen in a matter of years????

Bella Lugosi would be turning in his grave if he found out what has happend? how his image of a vampire is becoming. even though Anne Rice doesnt admit to it, i know deep down she hates what has become of her idea of vampires......once being these seductive beings, these lustful form of creature to complete and total bullshit. SPARKLES????? WTF????? AHHHHHHH!!!

i dont know maybe its more of a problem for me, seeing how i grew up with these thoughts of wanting to become a vampire and now my thoughts at this age are fading....because i will not......EVER.....be bitten by a sparkle fairy, im sorry -.-





RELIGION:

since it seems like everyone NEEDS to know what and who we are, i might as well tell you want i feel and trully believe in.

first off i need to clear the air of a common misconception, I AM NOT A SATANIST! even though i respect everyone's view on religion, includng satanism...that does not make me some ritualist satantic...its a sad world when people based opinions from their own pathetic and stupid ignorance these days. -.-

i believe the word "religion" these days is merely used to start a war with others. giving them a reason to hate someone because he or she is this or that...its stupid. Religion is man-made...its nothing but a word....a word that means hypocrite to me, because I am a great hypocrite myself, no matter how you look at it, I just don't care for judging people who are religious in their own manners, but I do care if you try to make me such a believer as yourself, and I hate that they cover up the faults that were made, by their god, or their bible. no one and i do repeat NO ONE!!! can truly stand up and admit that they have no sins on themselves...that they are pure and sinless....no one can say they follow their religion 100%...ifyou hear someone say they do, they are fucking liers!! i live next to a "preacher" and he cuses like a sailor and he loves to judge me and my family because he has nothing better to do. WHY DONT YOU PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, YOU LOW-LIFE MOTHER FUCKER!!!???!!! YOUR USING RELIGION FOR MONEY...NOTHING MORE!!

sorry i kind of blew up there for a moment. >.

like i said, religion....its a desperate cry for help....a way of being recognized without being yourself.....but in fact, being what you think someone else would want you to be..all for acceptance.

i believe in right from wrong, fair from unfair....good from bad....its basic common sense, nothing more. you have the choice to either be a total idiot or act like you have some fucking brains in that head....haha like a great man once said, its all about choosing....you have the choice to put on a tie and makeup....eat a ham sandwich or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...these small choices lead to bigger choices that will sooner or later determine your life.

i believe in bits and pieces from everyones religion....like the buddist for instance, their idea of everything always being good and nothing being evil is wonderful but it is something that many cant live with, like me...i try my fucking best to see the light in the darkness but it slowly fades out of my sight...and the christains, do onto others as you would like to have done onto you....its a beautiful idea....to respect someone because you would want to be respected....or hate someone and be prepared to get the same reaction.

what im basically saying is this.....respect everyone....their views on life, views on religion..even though you dont agree with it (like some will probably not agree with me) dont knock them down and ruin their beliefs....it would just go to show how pathetic of a person you really are.







PSYCHOPATHS:

superficially charming & many of us are excellent mimics of normal human emotion, We can blend in, undetected, in a variety of surroundings.We gain satisfaction through antisocial behavior& do not experience shame, guilt, or remorse for our actions. We also have a re-markedly distorted sense of the consequences for our actions, not only for others, but also for ourselves. We do not deeply recognize the risk of being caught, disbelieved or injured as a result.

therefore, in some odd way, we are all psycopaths!!! welcome to my insanity my friends!! :D





BLOG:

wtf is a blog? its fun to say.....its makes you sound interesting when you say it "hey guys, im going to go blog this on facebook!" haha it makes you sound all adult like. HAHA!!

BLOG BLOG BLOG BBBBLLLLOOOOOGGGGGGGGG!! >.

BLOG! LOOK AT IT! LOVE IT! BOW DOWN TO IT!! WORSHIP THE ALMIGHTY BLOG!!!

-eye twitch- okay im done!!!!





thanks once again for staying and reading my nonesense. it might not make sense to you, but thats okay because wasnt intended for you to understand...it was merely to get the voices out of my head!!! XD



well until we speak again, i am Hannabal Marie!!! TTFN

Here again folks with yet again another beautiful handful of things that are buzzing around in my skull. things that i keep thinking about and things that piss me off. instead of having it run through my head for days, months and in some cases YEARS!!! i would rather discuss them to you fine folks....not that any of you actually read my shit.....but its fun to pretend. :D



and since no one cares what i have to say, let me go ahead and spill a secret that has been haunting me....not like anyone will read this note and find out anyways. so here i go.........my secret is this.....I am a dinosaur. end of discussion. HAHAHAAA!!! fooled you!!!! nosey assholes!!! YAY!!! i bet you were all close to your screen waiting in anticipation for a juicy detail about my life huh? well....sorry to dissappoint....i dont have any, at least not yet. . .





well without further delay here is some things that been haunting me....







1) Why do people care what people say about them.....why do all of us have a need to impress someone else to "fit in" with soceity? why do name calling and words upset us? why do we even care!!!

we know who we are....so who cares what someone thinks of us. its not what is said that should upset you, but what you answer to.

if someone calls you a freak, then fuck it....smile and scream "FUCK YES I AM" it just goes to show how important you are to them, since you are the main subject of their lives.

your getting more famous by the minute and they well.....more stupid haha



2) we are all vampires in some way. before you laugh and smile and exist out of my note, read the rest that follows. we are vampires whether we want to be or not....we drain the world of its life sorce, water.....it is basically like blood to the world. and we need it to survive, otherwise we would perish. we are basically insects that are embedded into the skin of the world, sucking at the very life of it.

so before you laugh at a little girls dream of one day becoming mrs. dracula.....look at yourself, you are no better than her with the big imagination.



3) why is it that when your in a wonderful relationship someone trys to ruin it.

like when you were single no one gave a shit about you, but once they see you with someone they want you. not because of the wonderful person you are but out of peer jealousy. and some people are stupid to actually get hooked with these assholes....and insodoing ruin a good thing they once had. why ask someone to be with you if your not going to be faithful to begin with?

its a sad world we live in, and its just getting worse, but its those few people...those handful of loves that you will keep forever.



okay i think i am done for now. >.

ta ta and take care!!! :D

there are so many things buzzing around in my head right now, the thought i keep coming back to is "how come everyone has a myspace?" it's boring, your almost embarrassed to admit u have one, everyone hates and deletes Tom, so why do we have it? i honestly think Tom is a pedophile, just look at his pic...he looks all creepy and freakishly happy, i wonder what or who is underneath his table making him smile like that...and why is the 1st question out of peoples mouths "hey do u have a myspace?" do u even have to ask? sure there are the few that say they dont have one but that night they get frustrated or curious and make one. then the next day "hey u said u didnt have a myspace but i looked u up and their u were" WTF PPL why do u look up the people who said they dont have one in the 1st place? why do ppl freak when someone doesnt accept them as a friend? then they get all pissy and message u about it. WTF?!?! or the whole "friends list" ooooooooooooh yur not my first big fuckin deal, i still talk to you dont i? just cus yur not 1st doesnt mean yur not important, or what about those people who message eachother thro bullitins? i dont mean replying to a bullitin i mean u get one posted and it has one sentance directed towards one person and if that person isnt on yur friends list its like trying to put together a puzzle with to many missing peices, stop doing that! its annoying! or the ppl who post comments and just say "hi" ....wtf loser, u couldve messaged or IMed me? or maybe its cus they dont really want to talk to you so they leave this little comment...fuck man, myspace is annoying as hell!!! yet now a new thought comes to mind...if i hate it so much...why am i on it all the time?

Hello, Hannah Here...



Ive been Having Frequent Thoughts Worming In and Out of my head and I just thought "hey, why don't I share them out loud"

So Here We Go!



I'm going to just list the different crap that keeps me either questioning people or questioning my own existence.....



1) Why is it so disgusting or rude for a girl to talk about her sexual life but when a man does it, its fine and normal....like the saying goes "boys will be boys" but what about us women, is it not okay for "girls to be girls?" like seriously, if we women talk about every sexual pleasure we desire and/or who we "screwed" last night, we would be looked upon as a whore/slut/skank...etc.

but when a man does it he gets all this praise and glory....i don't understand people sometimes. '



2) whats the first thing that pops in your mind when I say the word "goth" do u vision a person dressed in all black and worshiping Satan and being in the shadows away from everyone? if u don't, then I bow to you but if you do, you have some learning to comprehend. Goth is nothing more than someone who expresses themselves for who they truly are without the need to blend in with the rest of the norm. Goth is having gone through troubles and hardships to better yourself completely. being rejected by most merely for loving what others shun away. if not us, then who will? we goths are romantics by heart, we love what we love. but understand, just because we wear black and makeup doesn't mean we don't have feelings....we're just good at masking most of it.



3) If being isolated makes someone crazy, then why do they need to put these insane people in mental wards...thinking it will improve them?!?!

I was told once that staying away from people, being "isolated" in other words...can make someone go insane, or like staying home for a long amount of time without going outside or doing something causes someone to go stir-crazy...then why do they need asylums??? its not helping them, they are stuck in one place, forced to "improve" their behavior and being shot in various places with drugs to "help" them. wouldn't that make someone even more worse then when they first went in? i don't know, this is another frequent thought buzzing around my mind.



4) the last one for now...

how could someone say they love u one day, completely desire who you are then the next have this sheer hatred for u?? I recently broke up with my ex and I cant stop thinking about how it feel apart and how one day u could love this person, want to spend your life with him and then later desire seeing him dead....don't get me wrong, I truly HATE this man, u don't understand what he has done to me and my family nor do i wish telling you, but just take my word on it...i hate him utterly.

it just confuses me how someone can go from "oh, i love u and want to marry you" to " i fucking hate u you fucking ugly bitch" ..........i just don't know anymore. :P



Okay, i am done.....for now....but will be back with more questions and rambles about myself and crap going around in my life. :P



(p.s. don't comment with answers, I'm not asking for any...i just simply need to express myself through this note....it just what I tend to do :P)

yeah, i just randomly decided to post another blog. no one seems to read them so i rant to myself about nothing. since no one reads my blogs i will now type my inner most secrets....no i wont, HA FOOLED...well...fooled no one. anyway on to talking to myself. why do i do this? dont i have a life?...i guess no...oh well... no one has one now a days. everyones out doing drugs or fucking their cousins on the internet. cyber sex, only good with certain people. people you love. people you want to love you back. but they are just people over the internet. bits and pieces of pixles pushes together to form words and images. still...you cant help but like the people. everyone seems alot nicer on the internet. occasionaly you get an asshole telling you that you have no life. really? so you do have one? why are you sitting here brooding? seeping yur anger thro a keyboard in a chat room were no one cares if yur life is hell. we just put u on ignore and your done. then like the little emo bastard you are you cry and cut yurself cus no one likes you. the internet was put here for information and entertainment. not so you can cry about how no one likes you or tell ppl they dont have a life just cus their on a chat room or bosting blogs on myspace or facebook....wtf does "blog" mean anyway? its a stupid word. blog....blog....blog....buuhlogue. its fun to say...fun to type...BLOG!!! blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog. hehe...b.l.o.g....maybe it stands for something... "bitch.long.over....gays?" maybe? "bite leg of...giraffe?" who knows...i bet tom from myspace knows...i bet tom will take over the world...take it over with myspace... soon they'll have job offerings and a college to go to. to apply for a job at myspace. that'd be really gay.."yeah u need to get a bachlors degree and 200 years of schooling just to whipe toms ass" take "ass whipe 101" as a course. what i really dont understand is why you need 4 years of college for a job. cant you learn it all in 2 years? maybe 2 1/2 or 3 years...what if u cant learn it all in those 4 years tho...then could u take it again and say u had 8 years of college? why do you need to go to an extreamly expensive colloege to get a good job. i bet they all do the same thing. teach the same courses. "oh no we only except surgions from harvord medical school" "why?" "cus it's more expensive therefore its a better school, but we do have a job opening for a janitor if you like?" why do we look down at being a janitor? sure no one likes to clean for a living but still. the pay isnt that bad, it puts food on the table, and all u do is pick up stuff and clean. thats the easiest job in the world...check out these smilies :) :0 :P ^_^ >.> 0.0 (o.o

In these recent times, i have been attacked by people claiming to be "religious" and in so doing, they try to force their religion onto me, asking that if i dont accept their help that i will forever burn in hell. claiming that they need to pray for me because they have this urge to do so. another person told me that i am not proper wife material and another more recent one keeps asking why do i do what i do, thus being goth.



so i decided to write this little note, reguarding these subjects at hand, instead of stooping to their own childish level and fighting, thus feeding their big egos.



like any "normal" goth girl, you are bound to find those few people who for no reason at all, hate you. and if your a true goth, then you should obviously know no matter what you do or say...NOTHING will ever make them like you, you will ALWAYS be fighting for you own rights, and most importantly, having to explain to these small selected few, your ideals and thoughts on being goth.

and that my friends, is what im about to do now:



you see for quite a few months now, i have been in a relationship with my lover betty krueger, and by a few comments and messages quite a few of these "holy-er than thou" people are wondering why someone like him would be with a someone like myself. and as one person stated, "i dont mean to be rude, but your not proper wife material, not even gf material...why would someone in their right mind want someone like you? you cant change a monster into a housewife"

its a sad reality when you read comments such as these, seeing how narrowminded people are.

well i have thought long and hard about this for quite some time now, and i now have a answer for some of you.



I never knew we had some sort of checklist in order to become a wife, that we have to look and act a certain way before a ring is placed on your finger. Do you people really think that every man roaming this planet is the same, that a woman with blonde hair, fake breasts, a orange tan is what every man desires as a wife??? that her brainless sense of humor will woo any man that crosses her path??? well i have some information you can analyze to help you live a less hateful and ignorant life....MEN ARE NOT ALL THE SAME!!! they are not paper doll cut outs, looking identical to the next, liking the same girl and hoping for a wife that suits this bill.



your question of someone not wanting me means that men couldnt be anything like me?...are you saying that some men and women dont share the same thoughts and concepts....that some men and women dress and act the same....share the same humor and love what the very next person loves. are you suggesting that a man wouldnt want a girl like me, a person who doesnt do drugs, only drinks on occasion, respects herself and all those around her, who refuses to smoke seeing how it will damage her body, who often gets the urge to cuddle and be next to the one she loves, who attempts to help others when in need, who would stay up all night and in the morning as well just so you could talk with her over the phone when tradgety arises, who doesnt perfer to hang out with people over spending time with a loved one, who refuses to hurt others when fighting, who is happy with herself and wishes to follow her goals and dreams, who loves animals and is a respecter of persons, who lives a life of sheer trust meaning she will NEVER cheat on anyone, who takes relationships seriously, who finds the thrill in telling people they should never give up, never give in, and never let others hurt you. someone who isnt afriad to tell the one she is with how handsome they are, how lucky she is for having them in her very life, how no matter what she will always love him for the person he is and not for the clothing he wears or the money in his pocket, are you saying that a man like the betty i have wouldnt want to marry a girl who will respect him, who truly believes in him and his dreams, who would never leave him, who would try to be everything a wife SHOULD be, who would die for him, kill for him, and take the blame for him.

to all of you who still question my getting married, i ask you....who would want someone like this????



it saddens me when others merely look on the outter side of a person, whether than the way they are on the inside, they see makeup and black and then they freak out. im pretty sure some serial killers were preppy and christian.



just because someone doesnt fit the bill as a person to be loved, doesnt mean someone else out there in this huge world wouldnt love them. and i find it as sheer bullshit when people say "all men are created equal" no, this is a lie....no one is equal. everyone is different in their own way. and in the case of the rich and poor....the rich are more equal then most. they have more rights and they dont get blamed for shit, maybe a small slap on the wrist and then a discussion on whats right and whats wrong...but if someone poor and gothic did a crime, they are looked upon as evil and sent to jail quicker. and the other bullshit slogan some people live by is, "i dont label people" if this was so, everyone from goth to prep would love and respect each other....there wouldnt be a need to bring each other down and try to belittle them. religions wouldnt be fighting over who is correct in believeing in what they do...or in my case, they wouldnt be trying to push their religion onto those of us who live a darker life than most. i for one, believe in every religion, taking bits and pieces for each and trying to find the truth in them. who are we to say one isnt correct, have we the proof??? i think not!!!

if someone believe in, lets say satan for instance, as long as they dont hurt themselves or others, than who are we to judge? let them do as they will...it is their life, let them live it!!!!

instead of worring if im going to hell, why dont you worry about yourself. i have read in the christian bible that thou shall not judge and bare false witness.....so why on earth are you????



if you hate me, good!!!! then i assume im doing something right! ;D



you dont need to pray for me, try doing so for yourself. save your breath for something more important, becuz i DO NOT need your sympathy. i DO NOT care what you think of me, and quite frankly, i love myself and my bf does so to...so i shouldnt be complaining!!

if im damned for hell, than so be it!



and now onto the last subject....why am i goth?

well for starters, i love it..i love the aspect of it and the clothing...what is not to love?

actually we are, in my opinion, the sexiest subculture roaming this planet....and those of you who deny that are either in denial or cant do the goth look because either you cant pull it off or cant because your to afriad or merely because your not allowed to.

goth to me is both a lifestyle and frame of mind, it is understanding and loving death and sorrow rather than being feared of it and allowing it to control your life. it is having went through hardships and tradgeties just to better yourself and make yourself stronger. it is loving what others shun away, loving what others fear. it is my very view, black isolation, black direction, black communication! a corpse can mean absolutely nothing to someone yet to a goth it can mean life. we do not see the carcass as something disgusting and hideous, no we view it with respect and mourn the death of the creature, then we would awe at the flowers growing from the tiny holes in the carcass. seeing how in death life was born. many fail to see this and only see the beast that died. its a very sad world we live in when people lack the imagination nowadays.

so to the people who ask me why am i goth.....i am goth because i want to be, I didnt wake up thinking to myself "Hey i should be goth today!" no, it was something that emerged in my life at the most perfect of times. when i gave up hope, lost meaning in myself, hated the world and all the paperdoll people within it. when i was thrown to the ground by society, laughed at by friends, physically and mentally abused by the ones i thought loved me. no...it wasnt something i just thought up, it was a change of life. with every negitive action, i became more and more creepy.

and i shall never stop...i continue what i have started, so with every hate comment, every laughing face, every rude word, everything....i will add more to my attire just to piss you off.



so i leave you guys thinking to yourselves....next time you think of judging me, why dont you look in the mirror and judge the monster in front of you instead.

this was fun, and i shall see you once again...but for now i must say goodbye!

i was having a yet again another beautiful conversation with some bible thumper on the subject of sex and marriage and all things reguarding this subject!!! she went onto saying how "Sex is a covenant between a man and a woman and God and so is marriage."

So sex is a three-way with God?

Right.

But that means there are two men (or two women if God is female) in the equation. Isn't that just a wee bit gay? I mean, there's bound to be some incidental touching in there, no? heehee

~Who's in charge of the vibrating anal beads?~ XD



""Sex is a covenant between a man and a woman and God." Talk about your unholy trinity. God watches me masturbate? Why? Is this God-fellow some kind of prevert?! seriously??? a deity who can see you all the damn time, you simply can not hide from this all seeing being, thus proving my point that GOD is simply a perverted peeping tom!



All joking aside (and, really, there's alot of joking to have to put aside), my experience with this kind of "sex is divine union" stuff comes from people who totally want to disavow their (and, frankly, Jesus') humanity. Pretty sad, I think, when you have to deny that which you clearly are. If we aren't "human", what are we? Sad, pathetic, and very scary!



i know there will be LOTS of people disageeing with me and my OWN OPINIONS!!! (these are simple opinions, not facts, so dont get your panties all in a bunch mama ;D hehe oh and "your going to hell" isnt gong to offend me, save your breath for something useful..like when im chopping you up and you need to scream for help...see? saving your breath is actually something better to do than trying to offend me k? hehe)



soooooo again, disagree or agree...i dont care....just dont get all jesus crazy on me because i state my opinions, life would be alot better if you could crack a smile once in a while!!! ;3

but i guess what that lady said was right, the first words out of anyone's mouth after sex begins to work its magic is, "Oh, god! Oh, god!" So, see, it really is between a man, a woman and a deity. ;D hehehehhee XD

COMMENTS

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LordRazr
22:21 Nov 05 2011

Good entry *grins

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