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So CONFESSION TIME and I hope to see this in other people's journals too! lol....Ten things most people dont know about you (or maybe that do) that have shaped who you are as a person.





Okay go....



1)My first memory of early childhood was that of me being molested by my mothers friend/boyfriend which for years I thought myself to be deranged to have conjured up some sort of sick fantasy until I confessed my memory to my mother who confirmed the reality. It also makes me very wary and skittish around men to this day.



2)I grew up in a rather backstabbing family. Where people are nice to each others faces and cruel when they turned around. This never made much sense to me (still doesnt) so I always just kept to myself and listened. This prompted the start of what I call 'people watching't where I observe the social interactions between one person to another and their body language in response to situations.



3)I spent my early year on a farm with no close friends so forced to use my imagination to create imaginary demons to frolic with in the wilderness. Making me a very creative person with a high respect for nature and a tendency to shy away from groups of noisy people.



4) My family being so stuck in conservative christian ways quickly beat it into me that like those of my own sex was wrong that it forced me to hide my true self from their eyes. Letting me become a super secreative person and able to live a double life.



5)I suffer from BPD (borderline personality disorder) which is a form of post tramatic stress disorder caused by my physically and emotionally abusive step father and my drug abusing and flighty mother makeing me extremly paranoid and unable to proccess emotional responses correctly.



6) Im terrified of being alone. Making me bend over backwards to keep my friends happy and content to spend time with me so I know they will have no reason to ever leave our bubble of friendship. When someone threatens to pull away for any reason it causes a great rift and painful panic inside of me and I become a little....insane.



7)Im as insecure as a turtle. Which is why ever since I was little i've been wearing a jacket almost everyday in the year because I feel safe in the fact that I can hide in the oversized over streatched fabric.



8) My mother suffers from black outs in her memory which means she cant remember a lot of things we've done together and from her lack of remembering I have become super sentamental with objects and photos. So I keep almost every piece of paper I write or draw on and take photos of everything making myself a little messy.



8) Im dislexic. Which is very evident when I read outloud and for that I advoid speaking as much as possible incase I mess up and flip something im reading.



9)I base my self worth upon the opinions of my friends. Which is why its important to hide all my flaws and always be there for them so they see me ina good light. It is also why I will never stand up for myself but am willing to get jumped if someone is picking on my friends.



10) I want someone to notice me.

Here's the rules: Get your Ipod, put it on shuffle and hit

next to get the answer to each question, just put the

title of the song, and no cheating, put whatever comes

up.



What's your name?

Gothic Sanctuary- Nightwish



What do you like to do for fun?

The fight song-Marilyn Manson



What are you afraid of?

Carol of the Bells- Trans-Siberian Orchestra



What kinda people are you attracted to?

Illusion-VnV Nation



Whats your style?

Labyrinth-Oomph!



What do you think about?

Paranoid android- Sia



What's your goal in life?

One more soul to the call- Akira Yamaoka feat. Mary Elizabeth



What do you dream about?

Memories- Within Temptation



What kinda food do you like?

N.I.B- Ozzy



Where do you live?

7 days to the wolves- Nightwish



What do you do when you wake up in the

morning?

She is my sin-Nightwish



What do you do on vacation?

Prayer- Disturbed



What is your job?

Boom!- S.O.A.D



If Obama called you on the phone what would you talk

about?

Old school hollywod- S.O.A.D



If you were the president of the United States?

Crazy Loop-Dan Balan



What's your motto?

Renegade-Styx

So i've decided to start writing down work stories since half the time they are just too good to believe.



As i've mentioned I work at a travel station (which is a fancy term for rest stop for travelers and truckers) to which I am a subway drone.



The list of co-workers are as thus:

The bitchy manager

The uptight super

The party girl

The baby

The shamless

The quite one

The lesbian

The Princess (thats her nickname there as well)

Gangasta Barbie (also a nickname)

The boy whose sexuality comes in question

The super christian

The laid back manger

The twitch



This is an extensive list but you need to know each is a different person.



Now my first story comes with a person who was recently fired and therefore totally comfortable with useing her name >]



Little miss Emily at the age of sixteen gets her first job. This lazy doped up sex fiend is quite happy to share her rampant love life with me on our first shift together. Which is fine...awkward but fine. Come to her first week she calls off...twice. Bad news but its over looked. The fun story starts now:



She comes in for her shift and we are in the tale end of a lunch rush. With her by my side all I here is how bad she is feeling by her thirty minute mark (which is odd since she was fine a moment ago) So she finally leans over and confides in me that she smoked a whole bowl before work and she's not doing so hot. I roll my eyes and smile some before finishing up with another customer. All I see is her zip away and out the door. An hour passes....no Emily. Finally the Uptight super runs out in search for our missing girl only to return rather disgrunteled. Apparently she found Emily just sitting by a toilet and staring into space. Finaly Emily comes back and begins to sob in the back on a stool as the Super calls her mom. Shes going on and on about how this job was to hard. How they kept putting her on dishes and how she dosent even do dishes at home. Then finally she gets up and turns to our Super and confesses to smoking before work.



Oh Emily....



But she isn't the best part of work.



The baby boy of our little set up is on the computer finishing up his video training while Im busy prepping. The Shameless is cutting bread while Super Christian was doing dishes. The conversation started off innocently. Shameless was talking about her upcoming vaction to visit her parents with her boyfriend. Only one little snag......she was upset about not being able to have sex while there. Her whole goal was to turn to him and say; "Hey....my dads not home....lets do it." (yes...she said it not me) But sadly she was on her period. The baby boy who was next to me face had turned so red and the rest of us laughing so hard. I try to change the subject for his sake but she just kinda shrugs it off and continues on about how sore she was and how her boyfriend tried to score that morning but it was just too painful...



Heh.....poor kid's gonna be scarred for life.





Last but not least happened today with Miss Party Girl. Who comes in at nine all bleary eyed and faintly smelling of urine. Suffering a massive hangover she felt compelled to tell all who stepped behind the counter about how plastered she got and ended up pissing while standing up and once again on her sisters couch the night before. Which is gross but hey it happens. Last time I was wasted I told the toilet it was my best friend and my friend stuck his finger down my throat (well thats as much as I remember) So yeah...shit happens.

She also decided to share the fact that she didnt have time to shower or brush her teeth before work so the girl was a mess and a half..





Yeah.....some people tell stories about the customers. My crew at Subway are enough to have their own little drama show.