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I don't want to think.....I dont wish to feel.



So I wont.





I shall be swallowed by the sea of numbness......





I can't deal with this.

I've been dreaming a lot as of late...which is odd in itself but my dreams are vivid. They burn into my memory. I remember the colors, the sounds...even conversations betwix people. Last night was interesting indeed.



It started in a world that was not our own. Possessed by two beings....the Goddess and her consort. They were creating lands upon their whim. Their children being born of pure grace and melding into the landscape of the shape and form they chose for the very soil was their children. It was beautiful and peaceful. Delight and love was thick in the air and laugher rang out of the group of pale willow trees...each a sister of one another as they stretched towards the twilight sky.



Then the scene melted away and the two appeared upon our earth. Disgusted by the way humans had mistreated the lands a meeting was called. She roared to the crowds yet no one would listen and so a great storm was called. The earth quaked and lightening split the hairs upon peoples head and yet in their fear the people still wouldnt listen. Dismayed she turned to her husband and begged him to help....she was the mother and he the father of man. Yet even he was at a loss....seeing the failure of the people before him. Waters rose as the two threatened to wipe the earth clean of their filth and start again......it was a large city I saw. Swept with raging waters. People crying beneath the waves but none as bitter as the ones that came from the Goddess and her consort.





It was a somber dream indeed.....I wonder what shall I dream of next.

Goal for today....be a little more out going....







Well.....that was awkward. Perhaps it be best if I stay silent and just wait for people to talk to me. Its worked quite well in the past but this almost crippling fear I have of actually starting a conversation with a stranger needs to be disolved. Or at least lessened.



-sigh- Anyway....now im all jittery and cold.





Nothing really new to blab on about. Found out that the mass on my grandfathers lung is a slow progressing cancer which is good. Though they still don't know how far its spread until he under goes more testing. What they do know that it is a 7.5 mass and is too large to remove without chemo and radiation but I know my grandfather. He may be elderly but he is strong willed. I have asked Hecate to cast her loving gaze to him and help him through. I have faith in them both.

An alpha wolf invites a vampyre and a kitsune to join his pack....







You'd think this would be a joke but sadly this just happened in under twenty four hours ago.





Stupid pup...



He has the makings of a good alpha in him but he is inexperienced and sadly enough the only one he will listen to is someone from another fucking pack who well to sum it up; "is doing it wrong"



Now dont get me wrong. I knew this kid long ago...and I love him to death but he isn't prepared to run a pack. Hell his beta comes to me for advice and has told me what he hides from his own alpha. Now I don't know much about wolf packs....im not a wolf. But that just doesnt sound right.







Ugh...stupid young pup.....inviting a vampyre of all things into his wolf pack....