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Been sick. Leaving VR as well. Just feels like the right thing for me. Time to move on.

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OccultRanger
12:12 Jun 17 2026

Later...I'm sure we''ll meet again in the turning eternity.

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Adain
15:13 Jun 17 2026

Does anyone ever really leave this place. It tends to stick after a while. Perhaps come back when ready.

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Cadrewolf2
18:52 Jun 17 2026

Sorry to see, hope life gets better

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RosaBelleMaundrell
04:30 Jun 18 2026

I hope you feel better. It's not fun being sick

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StormWatchers
06:03 Jun 18 2026

I hope you feel better soon. Take a bit of time off, come back.

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She FaceTimed me from her hospital bed despite just having literal brain surgery she is doing much better cognitively she doesn’t seem as out of it as she was even the day prior when I saw her. She is in good spirits and she is her. With the brain pressure and swelling I wasn’t sure if when it was relieved if her “memories and personality” would shift back. There were little shifts and changes I had noticed even the past couple years that I know now could have been her shunt failing intermittently even then I just didn’t know the signs now I much more well informed. I never based our friendship on her “disability” and we never talked at length about her hydrocephalus all but once when she told me if she ever lost consciousness that she did not want an open shunt system. I didn’t know any other signs other than her losing consciousness but now I know more and what to look for.
I know that most shunts are meant to be replaced every 10-15 years and she had that shunt for 34 years so it’s possible that it was failing intermittently as much as two decades ago. Her last revision was when she was 15.
I know fear kept her from replacing it sooner.
I’m sure possible medical trauma from prior surgeries in her youth as well which understandable because brain surgery is no joke and even now there is still risks of complications from infection which if it happened would require removal of the recently placed shunt and of waiting for healing then placing another shunt at a later date. And get this shit they are sending her home possibly tomorrow! Say fucking what now?! I remember when a surgery like that required a lengthy hospital stay and recovery.

After much back and forth her surgery was finally done today. I know I had said it was supposed to be a few days prior but I’m not really sure the hold up was exactly. They were going in for exploration surgery and replacement of the valve but ended up doing a full revision which personally I’m very glad about. Not sure but hoping this will be the last one she’ll need until the end of life but that remains to be seen.
Now the focus is her recovery. Hopefully no lasting effects or complications. I’m still emotionally exhausted and worried that something could go wrong with her and that something with the surgery will go wrong still but I’m trying to be positive.

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LordRazrDeMorte
05:05 Jun 11 2026

Sorry about your friend. I'm glad the surgery went well. Hopefully it's a fast a speedy recovery with no complications.

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IICrimsonII
16:40 Jun 11 2026

Thank you.

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The shit pile gets deeper still. My friend went to the hospital last night and needs shunt revision surgery. This just a week out from the other recent upheaval. Now this one does bother me. We knew it was coming for a while and has been a big possibility. It has been 34 years since her last revision. No I’m not okay she has a clot in her brain from a car accident she had earlier this month which has caused her shunts to work intermittently but the headaches tell me pressure has been building in her brain from the water not draining properly. She has surgery in the morning and I just found this all out hours ago I just got back from the hospital from seeing her she seemed in good spirits but I know she’s terrified.

Finally after a whole week the obituary showed up in the paper yesterday. It’s over I don’t have to look over my shoulder anymore more wondering if I’ll run into him. Or see him. Every time I would see him my body would have a visceral reaction and I would begin to shake visibly and uncontrollably. I would become physically ill to the point of throwing up.
There is some sadness but it’s only for grieving a connection I had hoped would have been different than what actually happened.
There would have been no way my nervous system could handle it at this point I probably would become a catatonic. I realized just how dissociated I was from my body in my childhood and teen years just so I could function around him without my whole being reacting to his presence. The out of body experiences I had just so I could get through what he did to me.

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Adain
16:41 Jun 05 2026

hope you are able to heal

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OccultRanger
20:49 Jun 05 2026

I can relate and hope you find peace in their death.

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IICrimsonII
04:23 Jun 06 2026

Thank you

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Ever have one of those days where everything and everyone annoys you for no good reason? That’s me the past couple of days.

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Cadrewolf2
19:16 Jun 02 2026

Sorry hopefully it will subside

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Adain
07:06 Jun 03 2026

Sounds like you went through a lot. Maybe give yourself time? Look after yourself.

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