The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was

trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.



"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all

grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,

He's a doctor.'



A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

She's dead. "

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The

nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:



"Take only ONE. God is watching."



Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies.



A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the

apples.

A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of

children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to

see each child's work.



As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she

asked what the drawing was.



The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."



The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."



Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:

replied, "They will in a minute."

Lady-Oh

Words and Music by Neil Diamond





Lady-oh, Lady-oh, I walked the streets again last night.

I saw you in the city light like a vision, Lady-oh.

Lady I, Lady I, I've been waitin' around such a long long time

believin' I could make you mine, just wanting you Lady-oh.



But here I am and there you are, much too far to even hear me.

Hurts a lot, you know it does, it hurts a lot.

Oh, Lady-oh, am I gonna ever learn what I never learned before?



City lights, city lights burn so warm and they burn so bright,

but me, I walk the city night to forget you, Lady-oh.



But here I am and there you are, much too far to even hear me.

Hurts a lot, you know it does, it hurts a lot.

Oh, Lady-oh, am I gonna ever learn what I never learned before?

I heard this tonight, and remembered that I liked it.



She'll let you in her house

If you come knockin' late at night

She'll let you in her mouth if the

Words you say are right



If you pay the price

She'll let you deep inside

But there's a secret garden she hides



She'll let you in her car

To go drivin' round

She'll let you into the parts of herself

That'll bring you down











She'll let you in her heart

If you've got a hammer and a vise

But into her secret garden, don't think twice



You've gone a million miles

How far'd you get to that place where

You can't remember and you can't forget



She'll lead you down a path

There'll be tenderness in the air

She'll let you come just far enough

So you know she's really there

She'll look at you and smile

And her eyes will say

She's got a secret garden

Where everything you want

Where everything you need

Will always stay a million miles away