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JazzyJ1313's Journal


JazzyJ1313's Journal

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PROFILE




16 entries this month
 

about me:

17:50 Feb 23 2006
Times Read: 534


About Me Personality Quiz
What is your name?:Brittany
How old are you?:16
When is your Birthday?:December 29th, 1989
What is your zodiac sign?:Capricorn
Where were you born?:Somewhere in the state of Washington
Where do you live now?:Nashua, NH
What color eyes do you have?:Blue
What color hair do you have?:Natural-brown Now-brown w/pink
How tall are you?:5' 5 1/2"
How much do you weigh? (Be Honest Ladies):Fuck you!
What is your race?:Caucasion
What is your worst fear?:Being Alone
Do you smoke?:i quit! ^_^
Do you drink?:sometimes
Do you cuss?:yep
Do you use drugs?:can you say PROBATION?
Have you ever or will you ever steal?:yes
Are you dependable and/or trustworthy?:yes... but i do not trust others unless they have trully earned it...
Do you play in a band or play an instrument?:no, but i want to learn drums when i get out of my program
Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?:yes, im pierced, and i plan on getting more piercings soon, plus some tats...
If you had a favorite serial killer who would it be?:Charles Manson is my favorite serial killer of ALL time... X_X
Do you suffer from depression disorder?:yes, what of it?
If you had a choice about how you wanted to die what would it be?:death during the best sex of my life... ^_^
Have you ever tried to commit suicide?:yeah... why?
Have you ever purposely caused harm to yourself or someone else?:mmm hmm...*nodding* but who gives a shit?
What subculture do you belong too?:my own...
Are you evil?:maybe....
Do you believe that you can be possesed?:possibly...
Are you a paranoid person?:*did you hear that?*
Do you ever get jealous of somebody else?:yes, especially w/ people touchin my man
Are you obsessive and/or compulsive?:la la la la la......... maybe....
Are you a violent person?:yeppers... *takes a swing w/frying pan* (giggles)
Do you take your anger out on other people?:idk, ask the ninja w/ the black eye... :P
Do you blame other people for your mistakes?:no, of course not... you're responsible for your own actions, and where you go in life...
What is your favorite game?:making love... it must be a game, that's how great and fun it is!!! ^_^
What is your favorite movie?:The crow, queen of the damned, jackass...
Who is your favorite band?:ICP, HIM, NIrvana, Marilyn Manson, NIN, Smile Empty Soul, Rob Zombie, shinedown, Metalica, Mushroonhead, Type O negative, etc...
What is your favorite song?:Save me, By shinedown
What kind of books and/or magazines do you read?:Fantasy, Romance, Sex books, Manga, poetry...
What is your favorite color?:a shiny Royal blue, black, purple, and fire engine red...
What is your favorite food?:mashed potatoes, red meet, and chocolate w/nuts... =P
What is your favorite drink?:alcohol, coffee, hot chocolate, milk, and human souls.... X_X
Do you own a pari of converse?:no way!
Do you own a pair of dickies?:yuck, get out of here, you abercrombie skank!!!
Would you ever kill yourself or someone else?:possibly *shows fangs*
Are you a virgin?:no
Are you kinky?:hell yes!
Do you like biting?:omg, you had better fucking beleive it! biting AND being bitten! ^_^
Do you masturbate?:maybe...
Do you watch pornography?:if i get the chance... but id rather do the REAL thing! ^_^
Have you ever dyed your hair an unusual color?:yes, its a nice pink right now! =P
Have you ever shaved your head in a socially unacceptable way?:no!
Are you hyper active person?:uh... i don't THINK so...
Are you religious?:agnostic satanist, i think.... XP
Do you have any self inflicted scars?:no... *hides left arm* okay, i lied, i have many... -_-' im done with that though, BELEVE me...
Does pain turn you on?:hell yes! BDSM all the way, nucca fucca!
Do you stand for originality and creativity?:yessers!
Do you like meeting new people?:mmm hmm! *nods*
What do you like most about life?:loving and being loved...
What do you dislike most about life?:hating and being hated... and ALONE... -_-'
Do you believe in love at first fright?:yep
Have you ever pierced a body part yourself?:no, my friends did it... XP
Have you ever had to beg for dinner money?:no... but lunch and cigarett money... xP
Do you own a car?:no
Have you been to jail, yet?:juvie
Are your clothes held together with safety pins?:some of them...
Do you have actual scars from punk rock shows?:not from that...
Have you ever vomit while making out?:eww, no!
Have you held a job for less than a day?:no...
Do you own more than two pair of jeans?:yes...
Have you ever had to fuck stuff up for no good reason?:yes...
Have you ever been kicked out of your parents house?:yep...
Have you ever been fired from your job because of your attitude?:yep...
Does the world piss you off?:uh huh... *nod*
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

COMMENTS

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ughles...

23:54 Feb 22 2006
Times Read: 538


i am soooooooo confused... and bored... and tired......... ha... lol... ^_^ ha... :D lol, i am so... i don't even KNOW right now... he... he ha... he he he haw he he haw haw... =D lol, somebody shoot me... ^_^ anywho... lol... hehe... oh, i wish i had a drink right now... something to get me drunk so that i wouldn't have to give a shit about anything right now... i should just call my homie Adam up and have him bring me for a drive somewhere... get high... drunk... pass out... wake up at a friends house without a clue what happened the previous night... lol, that'd be great... i can't do that though... he's got a kid coming, he needs to be responsible, and so do i... i definitly need to... i want to go home... i want to curl up into a ball with mike besides me... kissing me... telling me that it's okay... having him make sweet promises... it'd be even better if he could keep them... hah... lol... im depressing myself with the longing that i feel... i miss my baby... my mike... huh....groan... i want to go to bed... it's to early though... i can make it till 10:30... i know i can... ok... lol... im out... i think.. idk... byes!!!!!!!!! ^_^ :P =P


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omg...

23:36 Feb 22 2006
Times Read: 542


omg, im freaking out... too much stress from too many people... ugh, god... -_-' i wish mike was here... he'd hold me and tell me that everything was okay... oh, my mike... my baby... i miss you much, and really need you here right now... *huggles and kisses on both cheeks, the foorehead, and lastly the mouth* you are my one and only baby, and i do love you so.... *kiss* -_-'


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hurting...

23:27 Feb 22 2006
Times Read: 547


someone i have cared about has hurt me... he does not deserve my love, and therefore shall no longer be shown it... (even though it does exist...) -_-'


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To ZodiacTwins!!!

23:22 Feb 22 2006
Times Read: 548


Here's what i was trying to send you, but couldn't, becasue you blocked me!!!



PS- it's here for EVERYone to see!!! ^_^





y r YOU so pissed? you're the one hitting on a minor, remember? what do you think would happen if you called here? you'd go to jail, remember? i really am sorry though, im not trying to piss you off... and i already told you, im here because of the abuse in my family, assault, truency, and the lack of appropriate behavior? why are you mad at me? what did I ever do to YOU? you said yourself, you were playing cat and mouse with me... or 26 yr old male after 16 yr old female teenager... Jarett... why are you mad? if anything, I should be the one ticked off... but im not... im just tired as a mother fucker, cuz ive been up since way early this moring, working my ass off at community service, i just got out, cooked for the residence, and my fucking shoulders are killing me... stop trying to fuck with my head and MAYBE ill be able to calm down... I have alot on my mind right now jarett, and i really can't take all this added pressure of you trying to play games with me... ive got court coming up, i need a job, im switching rooms, im low on money, ive got community service, i have shit going on right now between me and mike (there always is), and i have to have fucking family fucking therapy tomorrow... PLUS im pms-ing, and im getting sick, having freaky fucking dreams EVERY night, and i CAN'T deal with this shit!!! you wanted to know why im pissed, there you go, plus the head games... ok? now why the fuck are YOU flipping out and mad at ME?!?


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URGULE SCHMERGLE!!!!!!!!!!!! lol ;D

23:08 Feb 22 2006
Times Read: 549


BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... people suck, im sorry... hah... lol, i sent mike 21 questions last night through email, and i think that he's going to be pissed as a mother fucker when he reads them... it completely questions his love, dedication, and loyalty to me... I know, it's not really even funny at all... im just losing it... i don't know who to beleive, or what to beleive anymore... I never did, i don't think... I might have thought that i did, but im just so completely and utterly lost about what to do about anything anymore... all i know is that i love mike, but i don't know for sure if he really loves me... and that's why im going absolutely NUT-SO insane!!!! BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! o0 ...sorry... im just so... idk... sorry... ill go know... -_-'


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yay! ^_^

18:41 Feb 21 2006
Times Read: 550


mike called me today, from the cabin they're staying at in Maine! im so happy! i needed to hear his voice so bad, to know that he still loved me, and i got that! oh, i wuv you mike!!! ^_^ *muah!* *kisses* for you, my baby!!!

^_^ =P


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neither am i...

22:34 Feb 20 2006
Times Read: 554


I'm not mad, nor am i blaming anyone... i can not stand it when people think that i am blaming someone... i just try to talk to people calmly, and then things get out of hand... i don't know why i even bother with people... and im not making excuses either... and im not wrong for what i did... i know that somehow ill end up paying for it later though.... mike's in maine and he hasn't even called me yet, and he said he would... it's been since friday since i last talked to him, and now it's monday... for all i know, he could be doing the usual, running around with some other chick... i can already tell what is going to happen... i will call mike at his house sometime this upcoming weekend... mike will be there, and i will talk to him... he will seem sad and quiet... he will heave a great sigh... i will say "what's wrong?" he will say "somthing happened"... i'll say "again? what was it this time?" we'll get into it again, break up, and ill end up hurt... again... from mike... i know it will... i can feel the dread building up inside of me, surounding my heart and soul... when i get this feeling, i am usually right, as i will be this time.... oh shit... listen, ZT, stop giving me all this fucking shit, i know what the fuck i did, and i know why the fuck i did it!!! i love him, i gave my virginity to him, he's the only person ive ever willing slept with, and i have given him at least 5 chances, which i will copntinue to do, untill it either works out, or there's nothing left to salvage... that's what i thought had happened, which is why i was going to try with you... YOU. DIDN'T. WANT. TO. !!! Don't be mad at me, you had your chance... if i get screwed over, i get screwed over... im perfectly aware of that, thank you very much... anyway, ive got to go, things to do...



LOVE always, (yeah.. right)

~:~Brittany~:~


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Why wouldn't I?

16:12 Feb 19 2006
Times Read: 556


I love someone, and someone loves me.. i don't sleep around or anything, i just date people i love, and make love to people who have earned it... i love mike, that's why im with him... you slept with someone, does that mean that you love them? cuz it should.... that's the only reason why you should give yourself to another... that's why i gave myself to mike, including my virginity...



Always,

~:~Brittany~:~


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here we go again...

01:32 Feb 19 2006
Times Read: 559


nvm, theres no reason to worry about him being mad at me... we never would have worked out anyways, seeing as he found someone else while we were planning to meet... so yah, no worries... just typical guy stuff... =P not me, im not a guy... just talking about all guys in general!!! ^_^'


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ugh... what to do...

01:24 Feb 19 2006
Times Read: 560


urgh... im going to have a whole week off from school, and i wont even get to see my boyfriend because he'll be in maine... on top of that, my best friend is in the hospital... and my OTHER best friend, who is like my little sister, is in YDC for another 4 or 5 months... ugh... what am i going to do? plus, one of my guy friends seems pissed that im going back out with mike, cuz i think we was PLANNING on going out with me... i feel bad, cuz he's an awesome guy, and i had wanted to date him... but imin LOVE!!! god, what am i going to do?!?



~:~Brittany~:~


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ok... here we go...

00:20 Feb 16 2006
Times Read: 562


i went up a level, i am now a shadow... started out by stalking two members... will bite someone after i am done... my ex asked me back out, so now he's no longer my ex... it feels so weird, cuz it feels like i shouldn't be giving him another chance... he does NOT deserve it, that's for sure... but i still llove him, so i did... but i keep feeling like i made a mistake... i dont know... im so lost and confused right now... and tired... i just want to go to BED!!!! this world is so exhausting, somtimes i just get tired of life and don't want to deal with the effort of surviving, of LIVING even... ugh... 2 hours before i can go upstairs, another hour before i can sleep... and i have to get up at 5am tomorrow... 10pm to 5am... 7 hours to sleep if all works out well... god... okay, im out... much luv to the juggalos and lettes, k? AND MUCH LUV TO ZODIACTWINS!!! =P alright, byes, luvs, and huggles... *muah*


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the insanity of life...

22:07 Feb 13 2006
Times Read: 565


i am going insane... i do not know what to do with myself, or with my fellow beings... this world seems so cold to me... i i can not stand a cold world, not at all... i am thinking of people and places.... those form the past and the present... i wonder someimes, what life would be like had i done something differently... but then i remind myself, this is fate... and with fate, everything happens or a reason.


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thought on love, pain, and misery...

01:52 Feb 13 2006
Times Read: 569


i have been deeply hurt in my short life so far... physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, rape, deceit... i would love to be able to trust those who i meet, but i find myself unable to do so... why do these beings deserve my trust? my respect? have they proved to me that they can be depended upon? no. no they have not. I became engaged on October 21st, 2005. within a month it was over... why? because i was cheated upon, and left for another. he has come back to me repeatedly, and it has resulted in further pain and misfortune for me... i trusted in him, i beleived in him, and he betrayed me... why should i trust another? why should i open myself up to them, let them know my every being? this has happened to me before... two different people i cared for raped me, on two seperate occasions, in two sepperate years... i trusted them, i beleived and them, and what did they do for me? tear me into pieces... a man who i was trully head over heels for grew tired of me, traded me in for another, and left me to die... or at least, that is how i see it... how can you betray and hurt someone, and break them beyond repair, and then try and pretend to yourself and the world that you love them? you can't. not succesfully... oh god... how can i trust, and love, without fear of betrayal? will i ever find another loyal and dedicated to me, a lover who i can love and be loved with? and can i not mess it up? can neither of us mess it up? oh, i hope and dream for it to be so... i yearn for someone who trully, TRULLY loves me... and someone i can love back without guilt... -_-'

Forever Yours,

~:~Brittany~:~


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A thought upon my darklite...

01:47 Feb 12 2006
Times Read: 574


To you, Zodiacstwins, my lovely darklite... i am thinking of you lots, and can not wait to meet you and be with you... it gives me somrthing to hope for, and something to work towards... thankyou darklite... you have helped me to find a piece of myself! ^_^


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February 07th, 2006

01:11 Feb 08 2006
Times Read: 575


ok, well there's not much going on right now... im slowly moving on past mike, and am developing interest in another man, one whom is a member here on vampire rave... my stalker, you.... you know who you are... you sexy little devil you... whips chains HANDCUFFS... yeah... anyway, im out. LOVE ALWAYS, Brittany


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