The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I'm kind of annoyed with a few certain people. I will not say who, but you won't know even if I told you. That being said, I've found myself really annoyed with some women who claim to be strong. I'm sure that sounds extremely sexist, but allow me to explain. It seems that some people have confused the terms strong, and just really, really bitchy. Don't get me wrong, I like strong women, we need more of them, and I'm slightly feminist myself. But, women who are just pissed at the world and show it, are not all that strong. If one were to see a man walking down the side of the road, pointing out people's mistakes and yelling at them, we do not refer to him as being strong; so why are women any different. I know girls who will literally beat their boyfriends (in a completely non sexy way) because they, perhapse cheated. These girls never get in trouble, and people refer to the as 'strong women'. These women are not strong, they have rage issues. If a man beat his wife down for cheating on him, there would be many a bad thing coming his way, and he would be considered anything but strong. I say, support strong women, and discourage bitches.

Let me start by saying that i have no clue where my life is going, and my definitions of long term goals are ones i hope to accomplish in the next 3-5 years. They all seem superficial, but i call 'em as i see 'em, and this is my list. This wan't written to be read, but more or less a place to get my thoughts organized. I don't really care who reads this, again, this is to get my ideas organized, and this is the safest place to put them. I realize that sounds very strange, but i don't know anyone on this website in real life, and no one in real life who i know of, knows about this website, hence, it is private.

The first thing on my list is to get a good, close girlfriend just as eccentric as I am. I think that a gothic girl would be right for me, because I've noticed that they are generally just as clingy as I am, and just as affectionate. I know this sounds strange, but I have yet to find a girl who I feel comfortable around and who is understanding of my strangeness, and perhapse has a good amount herself. I'm bisexual, but i think a girl would be a better fit to my missing piece. Most people describe a good relationship having the two participants having very similar interests. I think that's stupid. I'd rather my relationship be like the mixture of two differently colored waters which combine to make a different color, but remain water. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there complaining how lonely they are; I suppose I'm one of them, but I'm very particular in who fills that empty spot. I'm so strange... I'm physical without being sexual, emotional without being lusty. I'm such a strange guy...

The next thing on my list is to get a motorcycle. It's something that has nested itself deep in the back of my mind. Sure it's dangerous, but the feeling of freedom from the confines of that sealed dome of artificial air contitioning and stale heat. How about the rush of REAL air from the REAL world. It's beautiful. I've always had a thing for Harleys, but now I don't know... maybe a Kawasaki, or a Buell. The new Ninjas are really nice. Maybe when I get more money and when the insurance companies will trust a white eighteen year old american male. (They charge more than two grand for motorcycle insurance). This one was a bit more superficial and material.

Wow... I think those are the only two essencial things I can think of at this moment. I don't know if I'm lucky that there are so few, or if I'm screwed by how difficult they are to obtain. (those of you wondering why this is difficult, take into consideration of where I live and my age.(I live in a rich, conservative, preppy suburban town with very narrow ideas of stuff))

So, another month, another not dollar... Not much is going on, except school and work... But, lucky me, the weather is getting warmer, and I can go outside more often. I tracked some coyotes and heron today, it feels nice to be tracking again. I'm trying to get more in touch with my primitive, primal sides. It's a lot of fun. There's nothing quite like stalking the wilderness covered completely in mud camouflage wearing nothing but a loincloth and carrying a spear, knife or club. I would recommend it to everyone. I've noticed myself being more of a jerk to people, gotta fix that... My boss Gary gave me another good quote. "what people think of you is none of your business". This really struck home. I've been really up tight lately, speaking from my brain rather than my heart; I really want to go back to just being, not being me, not being someone else, not being a friend nor an enemy, just being. It sounds really nice.