Sitting back watching another painful year slip by. I never thought that I would miss you as much as I do. there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I can call you. Now that you are gone I wish you where here.. I wish I hadn't canceled our hang out night I should have been there... Maybe if i was I could have saved you... You saved me so many times and the one time you needed someone I wasn't there to help you.. I know its been a while sense you have left this world but that don't mean I still don't wish I could have helped you.
I miss you Michael
No matter how hard I try it seems like I'm not doing enough. I am in school trying to better my self and i have lost 82 lbs yet i still have more to lose. It still feels like I'm not doing good enough. 12/8 was my boyfriends birthday. I cleaned the house, made him a cake and did dinner for him and anyone that came to see him on his b-day. I didn't get a thanks or anything like that. I feel like I could have played the "I forgot" card and he wouldn't have cared either way. I know I tryed to make it a good b-day and I did my best. but some times I still can't help how I feel.
I know I got a lot going on with me that I can't help and I didn't ask for but shit happens. It's not easy being 24 and finding out you may never have kids of your own.. in all honesty its hurtful to be told that even if you lose the weight you need too you still have a little to no chance of having kids because of the PSO.
If I only know one thing at this point I know that I am doing my best and I am trying to get myself to the right place.
COMMENTS
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DFB
00:42 Jan 17 2013
Hey text or call me at 619 253 4993 i cant message anymore at the moment