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Man's Best Friend
06:55 Jun 15 2010
Times Read: 614




I love my dog. I don't know how many times I've said that. People who know me know how MUCH I love my dog. Here I sit, surrounded by 4 dogs:



1. Oscar, my almost 13 yr old 240 lb English mastiff

2. Frank, my daughter's 4 yr old pug/Boston terrier mix

3. Ziggy, my husband's 2 yr old labradoodle

4. Shiva...my 6 month old baby Neapolitan mastiff girl



The day is coming quickly...should have been tonight...when I put Oscar to sleep. But..I love my dog.



He's old. He's half-blind. He's arthritic. But he was happy. Today? I have NO idea what happened to him today. At 5:00 pm (just as all the vets closed for the night), he couldn't get up. I thought his back leg had fallen asleep where his huge body had been lying on it. Nope...the posterior cruciate is blown. There is no cure. There is no relief. Surgery? Sure...but all of them have about a 15% success rate...about the same as treating the dog for pain and swelling and letting it heal. Could CAUSE arthritis?? Already has it.



So..he's stuck here..in the family room..in the basement...where he lay down on his own for the last time. He has been whining softly for the past 5 hours and staring at me ... I think because he needs to go outside to pee...but he just can't get up. And he knows that good dogs go pee outside.



The only thing to do is to have him go to sleep. I don't want that for my best friend. During my year and a half separation from my husband..that dog (I love my dog) slept in the bed with me...sometimes putting a beefy paw on my shoulder in a "spooning" gesture (or was it ownership?)



Never has the chasm between man and beast seemed so wide as when your best friend...who you could SWEAR could read your thoughts and feelings...looks at you with confusion wondering why he hurts and why you can't help. I love my dog. I swear to anyone who will listen that I love my dog. He's bigger than most people are. He's better behaved, too. He was kind to everyone: children who tried to ride him; dogs that bit him.



I love my dog. I love my dog. I love my dog. Fuck! Why does loving him have to be so fucking painful??!!??