The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

6/23/08
02:08 Jun 24 2008
Times Read: 608

Today I watched this woman run naked from the hospital and saw two men chase her. She did not want to be caught and had not felt the freedom in a while like she was free and merely trying to break free. Then the police took her back and she looked at me in the police car with such sadness it was like this woman needs to be prayed for and I will be honest with you I dont tknow her name and I dont know why she literally in one look was so sad.

They shaved her head and everything. She came from the mental ward that much I know I heard she was on the news but never got her name.

I guess what impacted me most is that she miscarried and went into a serious depression. I understood that for I lost my husband to be and miscarried not knowing I was pregnant but it was just the weirdest thing to be impacted by.

So I called a chirstain line for I did not know who to call and pray with this woman. I felt her pain I saw it her eyes. I never broke but she did. I wondered if she had lost her faith and that is why she is in such a state and never had a faith to help her thru that.

To see the pain in her eyes and feel it was horrorfic he this woman ran out of a mental ward and broke free and just kept running. She was free she felt the sunlight and for that brief moment they didn't have her. But when the cop had her in the car and drove back she looked at me full of pain shame and more.

I know the loss the woman felt and I dont get it. Why I did not crack. I had no one but my gods to turn to at that time and I am very grateful I had that connection. I even understand why it happened and more so am glad I did not turn out like her. Holy crap is all I can say. So I dont know this woman's name but anyone who reads this please pray for her for it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. A moment of contentment and peace and bliss to being captured and taken back to a place she obivously does not like. If I saw it on the news I would have thought oh she was just crazy. But looking into her eyes you could see it and feel her it was not only cruel it was so sad to see this woman in such a state. To be so broken that she would rather run than see that her child is with the gods and with so much love.

I just hope she finds peace and finds the love in her heart to feel forgiveness of self and not blame herself for such a thing. I am not saying I am normal or even sane for that matter. I am just saying pray for this woman. For this woman needs peace in her heart and mind. I hope she will find joy and happiness again. And not be dead inside. I hope she too can feel the love of god in her heart as I do. I hope she can feel one day an outpouring of the goddess and her eternal love. I am not saying it will help her. But maybe she looked into my eyes to tell a different side of the story.

So pray for this Jane Doe and hopefully I will have a name to the face that I can some how help her. No matter what your faith or what your thoughts just give her a hug if you can. For she needs all the love in the world at this point to set herself free.

Leo tuckered out from all the moving around today
06:08 Jun 22 2008
Times Read: 613

waiting
06:06 Jun 22 2008
Times Read: 614






I am waiting for the day I can say I am unpacked fully lol. I have one more room to go. I literally just need shelves and I am good to go for it is all books lol 25 books of them! Can you say boom worm lol... I have to use them as reference lol I donot have a brain that retains much when it comes to reading. :) I wish I could but no so I have a library slash massage room the last of the move yeah!!!!

My alters are up and running smoothly...

Anubis alter







Reiki Alter







Jesus and Mary alter







Hygeia Alter







Ancestory Alter For my grandparents







So for the most part I am good to go have two more alters and a library to get going on. Other then that its alllllllllllllllllll good. :)

6/20/08
02:16 Jun 21 2008
Times Read: 618

Well today was interesting all away around

Drs were from hell. Lost 10 pounds and am at 270 now which is cool I am happy about that. Slow and steady.. I am healthy in the sense cholesterol is awesome blood pressure is awesome weight not some much but with loosing as I have he says it can help with it and he took me off two pills so I am down to four and vitamins hehe

So I wore the shorts and god it was great to watch men get slapped in the head by their other half .Or a Dr’s jaw dropping for he sees a t shirt but no pants. Or a man honking at you and almost getting into an accident. Yep that was yummy! It made me feel like I am getting back to my cute and almost sexy stage…. The song that pds sing” don’t cha” popped into my head. I am not thin nor hot like them. But my cuteness factor got actually a hot dr looking, a phlebotomist and three men to get the neck turn thing. So I have to say I did something right. What I don’t know yet but damn it felt good. Especially at the hospital and the man got slapped at by his woman and I waved at them.. As I left she looked at me like death is on its way and the husband or man was like damnnnnnnnnn. It was great!!!! ahhhhh. So great it made my shitty day of drs feel pretty good for the most part..

I got home and a man finally fixed my washer and I was so happy to learn it was not me but the person who put the shitty thing in.

Four weeks without fixing it and I did laundry mat Shauna’s house rather then at a laundry mat for she finally got hers fixed good god what a mess that was. Four hours mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. I did not realize I did not have uh enough patience for it. She is pregnant and they are worried about stuff and you can see it in her eyes she is thinking lack rather then abundance so I got he g diapers two weeks worth and a g diaper thingy. It is eco friendly diapers and of course she found it lol. I love her to bits but mannnn she can talk up a storm… Worst thing about it was I did not realize I had that many clothes that fit me. Well sort of anyways…

Talked to Max briefly and he was tired. Which I understand he is going thru a lot of healing from his bar fight fixing. His arm is the only thing left to fix and that is a good thing. He fully healed his ribs which I was grateful for and I was also happy about. He has gone thru a lot of drama and made it out well. A man that was annoying him from his past is in jail. His father harming him and leaving thank god always a good sign. Him getting thru a bar fight and not getting hurt badly considering he only had one arm working. Us getting through are first disagreement and making well strides in growing I believe. Communication is key and I see this now more then ever. I love my booooo and I am so glad we found eachother..

That was my day…

thoughts
15:20 Jun 20 2008
Times Read: 621

Since I probably wont get this on vr until DSL actually works this is what I have been going thru for the past two weeks. LoL

Work has been fundamental and I see it ass they down sizing to make the company look more busy so they can sell the company and not have to worry about not making money in the corporate America world. So we are backed up and doing lots of over time now. Allotted it so we are using it. I am not upset about that at all for it is all good in the sense I make more then what I thought I would be making. So I can get the rest of the deposit down and go from there by the end of June.

I had moved and it looks like roger is doing well enough that he is on his own with a new roommate. I thought he could learn more but he really did not want to. So he will come to me when he is ready to really learn and grow and supersede me in the growth process of spirituality. Moving into the new apartment made me realize that I really needed to grow and expand and I was not when I was in the other place for it was cramped and well I still did not like it was not near riverside. So I got out and about today. Got rid of more boxes and garbage walked Leo and went to mail a package out for Max and the tech guy for my dsl said I had no dial tone. Great I have IM ability but internet not so much at this point which really sucks. I miss my people from vr and I miss researching online which means I have to go to the public library if I need to research for my book. Grumbles. But then I went food shopping and like the very cat like human I am I literally but shiney things lol.

I got candles up the ying yang and nothing of huge importance food wise go figure. Lol

So uhhh yeah I got flowers for my alters and I did the happy pagan thingy today. Slept the rest of the afternoon away and spoke to a few friends.

Other then that nothing much went on the day but the week has been drama drama drama.

So for example the move to riverside. The packing crew was late really late and I could have slept the Saturday away before they showed but of course I was waiting and tired and cranky and ready to cry by the time they showed. If it was not for Tim I think I would have been at my witts end. He calmed me down and helped me move my animals.

I got a lot unpacked the night and got the bed room and most of my bathroom done then the kitchen and bed room fully done and realized I have space to do thing and wow enjoy things. The place is great! I can put alters everywhere and it feel wonderful and still have space for great things. I got all my pictures up and wow did I. I could not believe I still have wall space!

I set up one alter after the other and still have space and feel really free in a sense that all my gods are out and about ready to place and enjoy the world again. I t has been since the lose of my house that I have not had the space to really work an area and make it my own home and such which is cool. So the living room has Mama Bast, Oshun, and an alter for my grandparents who passed on.

In my bedroom mary and jesus on another a Anubis and Bast and another for Hygeia and another for reiki stuff. Ahhh how delcious

Smiles…

So I come to find out I cannot use dsl and yet I am surfing on IM capablities only. With this in mind it is weird and well that is the thing I am not sure what to think of it. I have to wait for another week before I can get on line which is seriously annoying. POUTS.











I have to get my second bedroom done so I can work on people again with which I am going to be picky of course and really work on getting it looking professional. So by the end of the month I can work on clients again. If they wish to come back that is after not doing it for so long. LOL I had no clue how many books I had. Wowie I am a book worm. I got about seven huge boxes out of the way and some stuff I did nt even know I had anymore so I am cool about the finding factor that is for sure.I got some of them out of the way which is cool. So I now how room to move and get around in now which makes me happy.

So yeah moving is stressful but coming into my own is for sure on that. With a quickness when I am done with it I am going to be happy. I found my slippers! I have been running around in them since I found them woohoo…

So Max and I are growing in love which is really weird. He wanted only an online relationship and that is all he could do according to him. He did not believe in god and he was seriously set in his ways. Here is a man that has multi personalities and was afraid to tell me this until I made a space for him to walk thru and combine my personalities with his. So much so we have adventures like I have never been on with any other.







I am back finally on vr woohoooooo god it has been awhile. Dsl guy could not fix my dial tone so I had gotten another appointment with att who was not showing fear to my dog and well my dog seemed to want to protect me from him lol . No shit the guy was hot. Not like Max Hot but hot. For him to be oogling at me and such was weird for one I was wearing jeans no make up and Leo was uhhh next to me at all times. Looking at him like what???



So I got dial tone . tired to fix the wireless and of course I can go on Ethernet but not wireless as of yet. Weird no normal yes. Me and computer things do weird things.



So I was informed at work that I was a vampire. Blinks looks at self okay I wear black a lot and I have really pale skin for a white girl in Jacksonville Florida but damn do I look like a woman who suck and bleeds men or women for a living? Lol okay never mind

That is her privilege I freak the Christians out for I wear black a goddess pendant and a tree of life with Jesus nailed to it. Blinks my version of a cross. Hey I am a Gnostic hermetic pagan give it up I always wear it all in silver. I wearing on my hands a silver slider ring with a dragon three dragons on one ring and then I have the wolf ring. Sometimes I wear the Tov ring when I want to scare the mundane. Ehhh not a vampire like some would call it but okay what ever I am grey in magick so whatever…

Hmmmm okay more like a Vamp with were cat tendencies? Muahahahahaha

Anyways I shaved the pale white legs got my boob raider shorts on and suntan lotion on them when I walk around in my world of way too much sun. Yeah I said boob raider shorts I was told the shorts give me an ass to kill for and showing cleavage at the time with boots on lol I guess brought it out. I was highschool when I was told this. I still have them and love them to bits. I promised I would get back into them and I have. Snug still but they zip up and show my white lily legs lol. It actually feels good to get back in them. Four more sizes to go and then I can work out again. Because of my fibro it has taken a toll on the body. I am back in the saddle again hehehe thank the goddess...

out of the projects into another place called riverside
02:06 Jun 02 2008
Times Read: 636

well I finally moved back to my mini world of yumminess and have a really neat well arranged street. I have houses of all kinds on my street and yet I am probably the only one in an apartment down where woohoo.

I am liking the feel it is less stressful and crazy like the other place I lived which might I add was not fun at all. The movers were late.then the broke a things and then had the nerve to ask for at tip. uhhhh no

I am not giving a tip to people who are getting paid alot more then me in an hour.especially when you broke shit mannnnnn.

Then on top of it you say wow you live in the projects I said yeah but no longer the same mover said wow this is well spaced and nice you will lik eit here I believe. I said I know I will . Leo eeh so far worried as a pup could be that cat on the other hand boowie found himself a nice cozy spot in a closet so he was set. I think the only thing I was more tired about is that whole day was emotionally draining.

As for today I got the kitchen all un packed most of he living room un packed and the bathroom and most of my bedroom unpacked. For me it took way too long to unpack rather then pack for some reason..

Anyways I am free at last free at last from the hellish place I was living in. Yeah!

...........Does the happy cat dance.....