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Book of Shadows



David is a strange character. He is a demon, a vampire, a ghost, a polterguist, and become to be known as a friend. Sort of a love/hate relationship. He has been with me for years. When I find more papers I\'ll write it, but I think this makes a nice teaser. Yes this is exactly following how my book of shadows reads.



March 18, 1995

(I was 20 and just had my son Bobby)



David paid me another visit last night. This time he may have gone too far. He took me to his 'waiting grounds.'



The night before Shawn (my ex husband) and I went to the spring solstice full moon circle. I had a dream that night that was familiarly real, once again.



I awoke in the middle of dense woods half covered with dew covered moss and brush during dusk. Appropriate, huh? As I stood, there was rustling in the underbrush next to me. Removing everything, to my surprise it was Bobby, my two month old son. 'Why the heck would David bring Bobby here?' I thought. Slight alarm gripped my heart, but I repressed it. 'Keep control' I said inside.



Carrying Bobby, I was walking through the dark forest. Oddly I wasn't afraid. I knew David was with me, that 'feeling' had come back. If I can control 'it' from coming or going I don't know. I couldn't tell if he's angry, an animal or the lover he once was, but I could feel him watching me.



There in the darkness, I (felt) heard people coming my way. Putting Bobby in a brush to hide him, I went running through the complete blackness, brush, and rocks without physically touching the ground towards the noise ready to attack. NOTE: The same way I ran through the thicket to get to Pat, a friend of mine, while camping in real life. The next morning my friends and I went down the same exact path I ran down the night before. There were broken trees, huge rocks, and huge pot holes. They swore it would be impossible to physically do, but they didn't doubt me, cause at that time in some ways I was changing. Growing.



I don't know how, but the five men stopped me, told me that they knew who and what I was and how I got there. They were about 25 years old each and we sat around a large camp fire, Bobby was sleeping in my arm, as they explained to me that David brought me here on his own will to test me.



I made a smell camp and prepared to be here for a few days. The five men had Bobby and I camp with them, so I wouldn't be temped to hunt, which is probably exactly why he brought me here. They became my teachers. Teaching me about my limits as well as Davids. Now I don't remember special details, but I know that if or when I go back there this information will emerge again when I most need it.



Probably the most frieghtening time was when on the third night at camp, as Bobby slept in the tent, I peered into the camp fire and called (as deeply as I could) for Isis. Maybe not an actual answer, but to feel her with me. To fill me with hope and warmth I often succesfully do in both in my waking and sleep state. Despite how warm the fire was I prayed next to, all I felt was a wave of ice over my soul. David was keeping me there. Dreams are funny, how a whole week can elapse in one nights sleep. At that moment that's when I realized that he wanted me alone. Yes, I had known. I've always known.



On the sixth day, one of my teachers took Bobby and I to the outer edge of the woods. At the time I didn't know that the dream was coming to an end, but I think he did. Men in dream state completely aware of what is going on in the woken world. Bobby played close to my feet safely on the grass in a small meadow, as I sat down on a log. He drew something on the ground. I asked him what David wanted of me, what's his true purpose of this? Is this realer than reality or somekind of surreal? I remember him answering, remember his lips moving, but for the life of me I couldn't recall his answer. At the time it made perfect sense. But it felt simply that time was up, it must've been something he told me as well. Because what happened in the following few seconds did not frighten me;



Bobby's happy babbling cooing half cry woke me without a start. I rolled out of bed, as we shared the same bedroom over my moms house and picked him up giving him a big hug. I couldn't stop holding Bobby. Gratetful that David didn't cross the line and try to put Bobby into a compromising position. As awake as I was the dream seemed realer than actually being awake. While writing this at 8:30am it feels like a dream now, just mist, but he's there. Waiting for me. Just waiting.



Like I said "David paid me another visit last night."



Blessed Be

Forgive the scatterness of this. This is Book II, back from 1992. I'll have parts of book I soon. No, this is not 'light' writing like from the show "Charmed" this is the honest to Gods real thing. So mote it be. I dedicate this to my Beloved Dark Prince of the Desert "ElderDaniel" whose love gave me strength to find the light through darkness. May you find your second book beloved.



Front cover

"To Michelle

I hope you have a very merry christmas and a happy new year. Please make good use of this. You're a good writer.



Love ya

Kamie."



(I miss you Kamie, whereever you are.)



Book of Shadows

Dreams, Interpretations, Spells, & Stories



"Use this book wisely for someday it shall become a relieable tool." From 'Power of the Witch' written by Laurie Cabot



Dec 30th 1992

My first real contact with the Goddess Isis today. Coming back from the Salem hospital, my father has little to no sign of recovery from his pneumonia. This is a moment that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. After settling in for a half hour, the flood of tears ripped through my whole being. Hysteria was no far behind. In a last attempt to help my father I created the magic circle in the middle of the room. Sat in the center and cried with such helplessness that it seemed to have shook the earth beneath me. With this prayer I repeated aloud;

"Oh Goddess, Lady of Mercy, Love and Comfort. I beg of you to hear this prayer! Hold my dear father in your loving arms and ease all pain. If need be, send his pain to me, so I may burden it on my own. He is a good, kind man whom doesn't deserve such agonizing pain. Take him and comfort him in your loving arms and spread your love throughout his body and soul. He needs sleep Isis! My father hasn't slept in three days along with the pain!! I envoke thee, hear this prayer, and comfort a man who's never done wrong by heart. By your love, mercy and wisdom. I again beg of you! Blessed Be. Thank you."



After the prayer I felt chills of an immense presence of a kind I've never felt before. No I didn't hear spoken word, but soon the tears subsided and comfort overcame me. As for my loving father, he's still in the hospital and his condition is still the same, but thank Isis; Goddess of Mercy, Dad slept most of the days gone by and I've found strengh to stay together for mom.



By the beginning of tis year, my promise is to continue to learn from the Gods and Goddesses.



Blessed Be