A NOTE TO THE STUPID-ASS BITCH THAT KEEPS BLAMING ME CAUSE HER BOYFRIEND DOESN'T WANT HER!23:03 Apr 28 2009
Times Read: 601
I could not believe that when I looked at the "Last 10" there was this bitches face! She has gone as far as to create a profile (most of which is lies) on here just to bother and harrass me yet even more!! And you will see on her profile... she insults me on there!!! I have done nothing in retalition because I find her a bit pathetic and all rather amusing... BUT NOW SHE'S STARTING TO PISS ME THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WILL JUST SAY IT... vixen49 is her profile name! ROBIN CAIN is her real name (although its been a cold day in hell since she was 49 and the 10 year old picture she is using is a joke!)
This so called woman has blamed me for her losing her man or whatever is going on in her pathetic life, I guess SHE THINKS he fucked around on her from what I gather, although he doesn't strike me as the type of guy to do that, and never did with me!!! I think he just got tired of being treated like a child and realized there is more to life than being in a "safe" relationship and decided to find actual love!
She has harrassed me through Facebook, Myspace, phone calls, numerous emails and NOW HERE TOO!!! OMG!!!! She has somehow (really shows someone with too much time on her hands) found every email address I have and send me emails calling me the most nasty ignorant things I have ever been called (and I have saved these emails). She has said in her emails "you are going to die anyway so leave me man alone" NICE EH!!!! She has called my cell phone... calling me names in the middle of the night! Even gone as far as calling me the "C" word. For no other reason than Brad (her whatever he is now) and I became friends on Facebook... when HE said hi to me first, just for the record. I "went after" no one. The site is for making friends! Unless you pose a threat to this crazy chick then you can't say hi to her boyfriend, who's whole friends list was chicks... WHY SINGLE ME OUT!!!
Should have tried the ones that lived in the same town, dumbass!!! Not that ANY of them were anything other than friends either!
He has had to since close that profile, his Myspace profile, because she harrassed me on there and it got to much for him to listen to her, although Brad and I weren't even friends on there!!! ????
...and now I find the crazy bitch has put a profile up here! Something she has noooo interest in, just I am here and so another outlet for her to harrass me!!! WOW!
So now, ROBIN CAIN you are doing nothing but pretty much stalking me! Get a life!!!! Let me say this for the last fucking time... I DIDN'T TAKE NOR TRY TO TAKE "YOUR" MAN. AND IF SOMEONE DID ITS YOUR FAULT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT A MAN!!!!
First of all, as I said, he approached ME FIRST on facebook (which is what its for!)! If you want to think the worse than I guess it does't look like he was all that into you at the time! We became FRIENDS and TALKED! While you were accussing me, you were barking up the wrong tree sister!!! He told me he was with you because he settled for "safety" above love! Nice choice he made! Went for safe and got a psycho, posessive, clingy, insecure old hag!
Secondly he wasn't and is not "YOURS"... you do not OWN people, as much as you have tried to buy him!
Finally, we were friends ONLY! I was helping him test your trust and you FAILED MISERABLY!!!! You snooped, you lied, you sent emails behind his back, went through his emails and computer records and cookies, sent emails pretending to be him!, snooped through his personal belongings... c'mon now... nice work on being trusted by someone. Sorry... you said you loved this person? Nice way to show it!!! And you still won't let it go that it has nothing to do with me, these are your problems! And now because you are fucking crazy he and I can't even be friends. We haven't spoken in months! I am tired of seeing your ugly face and stupid comments everywhere!
I have more serious problems to worry about than how some old bitch can't hold onto her man!
So for the last time...GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! NO MORE EMAILS, STOP LOOKING AT MY PROFILES AND ADDING YOUR IMMATURE COMMENTS AND JOINING EVERYTHING I AM A PART OF JUST TO HARRASS ME , CHRIST YOU ARE IN YOUR MID 50'S, GROw UP ALREADY! Then again if I was as old as you and had a young boyfriend I had to buy and play the guilt card, suicide cop-out card on, I would be afraid of losing him too...
Seriously though, if you love him like you say you do... let him go to be happy and get the love you deserve as well. Guilting someone into being with you is not love! If you have to be sending women messages about leaving YOUR man alone... what does that tell you? WAKE UP!!!! He did say he loved you, just not in THAT way! Don't you deserve someone who WANTS to be with you and is IN love with you!!!!!!! Don't both of you? Life is too short to pretend or put on blinders and make someone else not be as happy as they can!
Okay... take the soap box away... lol! Subject CLOSED!
Liver Update... April 24
08:42 Apr 25 2009
Times Read: 611
April 24 at 17:16
Met with the transplant coordinator, she explained the whole what’s going to happen and explained what they are looking for in the biopsy.
Took lots of blood. They always do that! Bastards! Lol
Met with the anesthesiologist, i am sure that is not spelt right. (aaaah spell check, it’s spelt right now!)
Lots of prep i have to do to get my "support team" together, if I do end up getting the They are hoping to get biopsy done some time in May and if its okay, and Kimmy, my cousin is a match (Dave turned out not to be), then they said the surgery could be as early as end of July. Normal wait is a year and a half but i don't have that much time she said... niiiiice!
So there ya go... that’s the latest. In a nutshell I am waiting to see how soon I die or not! Don’t mean to be maudlin but that is what it is!
They will gradually be cut down but I will be on meds for the rest of my life.
Oh one good piece of news... they put me on a high fat diet! I have to have at least one milkshake a day and eat lots of Hagan Daaz and all things fatty! woohoo!!!
But no pizza, crackers (don’t get that one) burgers, processed meat of any kind. And of course nothing with salt… no chips, canned food, etc… gotta read labels BIG time!
Well that’s it for now peeps! I go for four (or five) more tests on Monday. Pulmonary tests and bone density and crap like that…
Ciao for now!
Going for a drink…KIDDING! hahahaha… I freaking kill me!!!! LMAO!!!
ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MY LIVER CRAP!
08:35 Apr 25 2009
Times Read: 613
11 March 2009 at 21:01
Well its been awhile and instead of writing the same thing to one person after another... All at once! A-HA!
And for those who asked... here is the joy I am going through... now that I have read this... I AM GIVING UP READING!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!
What is liver cancer (hepatocellular carcinoma, HCC)?
Liver cancer (hepatocellular carcinoma) is a cancer arising from the liver. It is also known as primary liver cancer or hepatoma. The liver is made up of different cell types (for example, bile ducts, blood vessels, and fat-storing cells). However, liver cells (hepatocytes) make up 80% of the liver tissue. Thus, the majority of primary liver cancers (over 90 to 95%) arises from liver cells and is called hepatocellular cancer or carcinoma. (THIS IS THE ONE I HAVE! I HAVE LESS THEN 5% LIVER FUNCTION RIGHT NOW WHICH IS CLASSIFIED AS LIVER FAILURE. END STAGE LIVER DISEASE.)
When patients or physicians speak of liver cancer, however, they are often referring to cancer that has spread to the liver, having originated in other organs (such as the colon, stomach, pancreas, breast, and lung). More specifically, this type of liver cancer is called metastatic liver disease (cancer) or secondary liver cancer. Thus, the term liver cancer actually can refer to either metastatic liver cancer or hepatocellular cancer. The subject of this article is hepatocellular carcinoma, which will be referred to as liver cancer.
What is the scope of the liver cancer problem?
Liver cancer is the fifth most common cancer in the world. A deadly cancer, liver cancer WILL KILL ALMOST ALL PATIENTS WHO HAVE IT WITHIN A YEAR. (I DID NOT NEED TO READ THIS!!!!) The World Health Organization estimated that there were about 430,000 new cases of liver cancer worldwide, and a similar number of patients died as a result of this disease.
Liver cancer is a bad cancer. It has frequently spread beyond the liver by the time it is discovered, and ONLY 5% OF PATIENTS WITH LIVER CANCER THAT HAS BEGUN TO CAUSE SYMPTOMS SURVIVE EVEN FIVE YEARS WITHOUT TREATMENT. (OF COURSE MINE WAS NOT FOUND EARLY! THE GREAT TEAM AT ST. MICHEAL'S SENT ME HOME A COUPLE YEARS AGO WHEN I WENT IN AND WAS TOLD I HAD LIVER PROBLEMS! CAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT CAUSED IT!!!) The only hope for patients who are at risk for liver cancer is regular surveillance so that the cancers can be found early. Early cancers can be treated by surgical removal (resection), destruction of the individual tumors, or liver transplantation. Although the current techniques for surveillance are not very good at detecting early liver cancer, newer techniques are being tested and appear to be better.
WELL I STARTED TO "TURN YELLOW" AND BECOME JAUNDICED SOMETIME LAST MAY I WAS STARTING TO BE TOLD I LOOKED A LITTLE YELLOW... IF OF COURSE DID NOTHING! HA! WENT TO EMERGENCY LATE AUGUST FINALLY HAD ENOUGH OF THE PAIN AND NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP. THOUGHT I HAD A KIDNEY INFECTION TO BE HONEST... WENT TO EAST GENERAL (NO MORE ST MIKE'S FOR ME) WHERE THEY RAN A SHITLOAD OF TESTS AND KEPT ME THERE FOR JUST OVER TWO WEEKS UNTIL THEY FOUND OUT WHAT WAS WRONG AND REFERRED ME TO THE SPECIALISTS AT TORONTO GENERAL WHO HAVE NOW PAST ME OVER TO THE ACTUAL TRANSPLANT TEAM.
TOMORROW IS MY SECOND ROUND OF TESTS WITH THEM. COUPLE WEEKS AGO WAS X-RAYS, URINE TESTS, ECG AND BLOOD, THEY REALLY LIKE MY BLOOD! TOOK 17 VIALS LAST TIME... MAKES YA DIZZY I TELL YA!! TOMORROW I WILL HAVE BONE DENTISY TESTS, GASTROSCOPIC ENDOSCOPY SOMETHING... CAMERA DOWN THE THROAT INTO THE BELLY (GET TO BE SEDATED FOR THIS ONE) PULMONARY TESTS, FULL BODY CAT SCAN AND ULTRA SOUNDS. OH AND OF COURSE THE FAVORITE... BLOOD WORK! THEN THERE IS MORE ON FRIDAY! AND MORE NEXT TUESDAY!!
Computed tomography, which uses X-rays and a computer to generate pictures of the liver, showing its size and shape.
Doppler ultrasound to determine if the blood vessels to and from your liver are open.
Echocardiogram to help evaluate your heart.
Pulmonary function studies to determine your lungs' ability to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide.
Blood tests to determine blood type, clotting ability, and biochemical status of blood and to gauge liver function. AIDS testing and hepatitis screening are also included.
Liver Biopsy, A liver biopsy is a procedure for the diagnosis of abnormal liver conditions
Where Does a Liver for a Transplant Come From?
There are two types of liver transplantation options: living donor transplantation and cadaveric transplantation.
Living donor
Living donor liver transplants are an option for some patients with end-stage liver disease. This involves removing a segment of liver from a healthy living donor and implanting it into a recipient. Both the donor and recipient liver segments will grow to normal size in a few weeks.
The donor, who may be a blood relative, spouse or friend, will have extensive medical and psychological evaluations to ensure the lowest possible risk. Blood type and body size are critical factors in determining who is an appropriate donor.
Recipients for the living donor transplantation must be active on the transplant waiting list. Their health must also be stable enough to undergo transplantation with excellent chances of success.
Screening
Hospitals will evaluate all potential donors for evidence of liver disease, alcohol or drug abuse, cancer or infection. Donors will also be tested for hepatitis, AIDS and other infections. If this screening does not reveal problems with the liver, donors and recipients are matched according to blood type and body size. Age, race, and sex are not considered.
What Happens During the Transplant Operation?
Liver transplants usually take from six hours to 12 hours. During the operation, surgeons will remove your liver and will replace it with the donor liver. Because a transplant operation is a major procedure, surgeons will need to place several tubes in your body. These tubes are necessary to help your body carry out certain functions during the operation and for a few days afterward.
Tube placement
A tube will be placed through your mouth into your windpipe (trachea) to help you breathe during the operation and for the first day or two following the operation. The tube is attached to a ventilator that will expand your lungs mechanically.
A nasogastric tube will be inserted through your nose into your stomach. The N/G tube will drain secretions from your stomach and it will remain in place for a few days until your bowel function returns to normal.
A tube called a catheter will be placed in your bladder to drain urine. This will be removed a few days after the operation.
Three tubes will be placed in your abdomen to drain blood and fluid from around the liver. These will remain in place for about one week.
In most cases, the surgeon will place a special tube, called a T-tube, in your bile duct. The T-tube will drain bile into a small pouch outside of your body so it can be measured several times daily. Only certain transplant patients receive a T-tube, which remains in place for five months. The tube causes no discomfort and does not interfere with daily activities.
THEN YOU STAY IN THE HOSPITAL FOR UP TO A MONTH, AWAITING THE BODY TO ACCEPT OR REJECT! THEN YOU GO HOME AND TAKE MAJOAR MEDICATIONS AND HEAL... FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS... AND END UP WITH A BIG HONKING SCAR SHAPED LIKE A BIG PEACE SIGN DOWN YOUR STOMACH TO THE BELLY BOTTON THEN ACROSS TO BOTH HIPS! LOVELY!!! GONNA BE ABLE TO ROCK A BIKINI I TELL YA!!!
WELL THERE YA GO... SHOULD ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!
ANYONE WANNA GO FOR A DRINK??? LMFAO!!!!
My Liver.... or lack thereof!
08:33 Apr 25 2009
Times Read: 614
14 February 2009 at 01:59
Went for my first appointment with the "Transplant Team".
I am now under their care. I have been fully accepted as a qualified receipient, so far. Upcoming tests will seal the deal either way. But in a nutshell the transplant is a go... I am also now eligiable (sp?) for a "living donor"... My love,
Dave, has so wonderfully volunteered to give me part of his (I get his small lobe and he grows it back)! They take out all of mine and his will (hopefully) grow and I will have an almost full liver again! Wow, what a wonderful thing to do for someone, especially since he HATES hospitals and I mean BIG TIME! THAT is love!
I now start to undergo a battery of tests to make sure the cancer hasn't spread. If so...NOT a good outcome, actually there is NO outcome.... but we won't go there cause it hasn't spead!! I will be watched and monitored very closely and if Dave is a match we will have the surgery in the summer sometime! Now thats a good idea! He will be in for 5-7 days, me averages a month then major and much medications. And one hell of a scar... a big "peace sign across my whole abdomen... no more bikinis for me!!!
I apparently have to make out a will, oh joy! So if you want something, let me know! lmao...
All in all.... I think its good news, scary cause now it is getting realler (I know that isn't a word!) lol!
Seriously I want to thank you all for the well wishes and prayers... I guess I do need them! So thank you, means a lot to me that people are pulling for me! Big hugzzz...and love to you all!!!!
My Liver... and all its nonsense....
08:28 Apr 25 2009
Times Read: 615
18 September 2008 at 13:34
Just want to say thanks for the support and stories of inspiration.
BUT liver cancer is different than regular cancer in that it doesn't respond to typical treatments. Chemo does not work since the liver is an organ that fights toxins, it looks at Chemo like a toxin and fights it. So that is a no go! They can usually go in an burn the malignant tumours but I have too many and my liver is too weak so I would not survive the surgery... figures! And my liver is not strong enough for a partial transplant. Which is why full transplant is my only option! So that is the scoop poop!
I do not look any different, well not now that the yellow skin and eyes are gone (jaundice) I still have some bloating of my abdomen, but getting better and it will be drained again soon! I am not wasting away or looking sickly like other cancers. As a matter of fact I look the best I have in a long time! Which is the problem with Cirrohsis... no real symptoms until it is too late! So I don't want sympathy from anyone! Positive thoughts only! : )
And hugs and kisses! heehee!
So to those that do drink... think of me when you have one, and have one for me!!!!!! : )
Party for little Pammy... poor girl can't party on her own anymore! Sad isn't it? An Irish girl who can't drink!!!!!! The injustice, I tell ya! SUCKS!
First Meeting with the Transplant Surgeon...10:14 Apr 18 2009
Times Read: 630
April 9, 2009
I put this entry in first... have since added more of the history... So here is a summary til now.
I don't know if you are aware or not of the liver problems I have recently been plaques with... the end August of 2008 I went to emergency in great pain (thinking perhaps I had a kidney infection)... after being there for 2 weeks it was decided that I had servere end of stage cirrohsis and, if that wasn't bad enough, liver cancer.
So the regular trips to the specialists start. Hopes are told to stay high so they are... I have been told I am the happiest sick person anyone has ever seen!
I have been through nothing but shit in my life and my background is Irish, Of COURSE I have liver problems! lol...
Well that was all good, stay positive, listen to the doctors, eat right, NO DRINKING, no salt or salty food, which means no chips which sucks!!! But they give you lots of morphine.... and heart pills, and diretic pills and....(7 a day so far)
Now here it is April, I have had enough of living downtown Toronto, cause I am suppose to be "stress-free" so I have moved to the far west end outside the city and already I feel better. Have had to take NO pain pills once!
BUT...
I still have to go back downtown to Toronto General Hospital (THEE top transplant hospital in Canada) for appoinments.... about 3-5 a week (they try to pack them all in 1 or 2 days)
So...
I went to the drs last thursday... met with the surgeon (I didn't know who I was meeting, they never tell you, just give ya a name and a time) Well needless to say it was pretty grim.
He explained that he was the guy that says yes to a transplant and he is also the guy that says no. Then he proceeded to tell me that I have so many tumors they can not even count them and that he has never seen such a thing before... fucking lovely! Soooo basically it comes down to the biopsy... there are two ways it can go... mind you I am not that clear on what he said now... he said its good that i have a donor (my cousin Kimmy) but it doesn't matter... if he says no - its no!
The biospy will show two things and if its one then i get the transplant and i have a 40% chance of survival... if it shows something else (i don't remember, go figure) then there is no surgery and... well that is that. Bye me...
Not one of the better appointments I must say! I don't get it... so I will of course find out more this thursday (the 23rd which is next appointments). I don't understand if my cousin is willing to donate her liver to me why they wouldn't do it. It is not taking a liver from someone else becuase she is strickly donating to me... but either way that was not a good thing to hear. They didn't tell me to take someone with me that day but thank god my friend Janice did come with me. Mind you she broke down and started to cry not me! lol...
So here I am... and well thats about that so far. But I am loving it here in my new place! Sleeping like a baby, its wonderful! Have had no pain at all, no swelling no nothing! Its been good for me. And Dave is taking good care of me!
So... now what???
I guess I will let you know what they say next week!
All I know is... I will survive! God don't want me... and Satan is afraid of me!!!!
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