The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Okay, so I have had 24546 profile views in 2 years... and 1600 rates...

I am sorry... I had 5 messages in my INBOX this morning. I clicked on the message bar, once in my inbox, they had ALL vanished.. if you mailed me...in the last 12 hours, I didn't get it.





Whats UP with VR!!! I shouldn't have my mail vanish like this!!

When you feel all knotted inside, and frustrated and like you want to cry hard.. or even do something Crazy to vent off the feeling?



You feel mixed up and not sure if something that has upset you, should upset you.. that you're perhaps being unreasonable.. And that the feelings you use as your comfort sonar.. are now being questioned as inaccurate? ... so you feel all of above.. and not know what to do... Well....



That's how I'm feeling...

If he was going to meet me at all.. He asked Ian.. I was hoping I'd get to see the band play in April when they play London. But I never in the life of me thought they'd actually ask to meet me!! Should be the other way around???





So... I'm meeting Phil Anselmo, and the band in April And I'm so looking forward to it.

I can imagine the vibe that's going on between Ian and Phil, and I think they'll be buddies after this. Ian is very easy to be with if he accepts you.. and he is accepting. But he can also toss you off like a useless piece of burnout kindling wood. Ian has had to adapt to being able to be like that as part of his persona, to protect himself.

I haven't seen this yet, other than a couple of drunken tarts (lose women) coming over to him and wanting in on the fame, and looking for a meal ticket to get in... OR just drunk and being " I know you" He'll push them away, I haven't had to get bitchy to their faces yet!!





Their all sailing to Sweden today, and have a gig in Stokholm.

I've requested that when Phil Trains with the boxing, that a photo is taken while he spars with Ian holding the pads.... I'm gonna turn it b&w and I am sure it'll end up in a book one day.

This feels like how I would imagine it to be, which is a good thing for me, because it means I was able to assume the feelings and possibilities, well and use my perceptions, & savvy. It is a big thing having your partner putting his life on the line for his job. And up there with the rich & famous and Infamous. I'm proud of Ian, and I am right behind him whatever he wants to do.

And now the guitarist of Skid row, who is now the manager for Down.. Ian is getting on swimmingly with Phil, (like I knew he would) Phil and he share a passion for boxing, and Phil has asked Ian if he would wear the pads when Phil trains!



Cool as!!



They watched the Calzaghe DVD that I bought for Ian, that he took with him. It's a boxing DVD. So I'm stoked that Phil wanted to watch something that I gave to Ian.

It's so surreal tho... Ian says he hung out with Snake, Phil and the tour manager. like it was something 'normal' I'm like Oh heck.. Snake is from Skid row.. and Phil from... It's a mad feeling to see and feel this. I have to adapt to accept this kind of thing though, because this is my life now.

One week down....

The Hunger to learn about something you don't know, unfortunately can make you believe everything you hear!

I Had lunch today with a friend who needed a shoulder to cry on... We met up, and right away she was telling me about her man problem.. "he's a wanker" I said to her.. He obviously was because he told her he fancies her friend.



We ordered up some wine, and got on with chatting... he hurt her feelings... We ordered food, and catted for an hour before the food arrives (it's okay, we were told it'd take a while, and we were in no rush) As I tuck in to the chicken.. I a hungry and eat the sauve with my pita bread. As I chew on the chicken I'm thinking to myself, This tastes like Mank.. grisly, fatty, chewy chicken??? I wasn't enjoying it AT ALL... 2 glasses of wine more.. and I was not feeling awfully hungry anymore. the half-hearted waitress (that struggled to say "Enjoy your meal" before walking away before she finished) comes over and asks if everyhint is ok, I said " well, actually no, my meal wasn't very nice. she says " would you like to speak with someone" I look around thinking, is she not enough then? So I say " yes, okay"

I complained abut the shitty cuts of meat in the food.. I mean, when your hungry you want to eat well, not scrimp and feel ill...



So short of the long of it is.. I'm now at home, sitting here writing this.. and feeling SICK as a dog.. I ate probably 5 mouthfuls of it.. But my throat feels awful. and I feel sick in my throat. I keep teling myself I'm just grossed out by the chicken being awful. It isn't food poisoning. I'm still feeling hungry..

But if I get sick, I swear they'll be hearing from me.



Cheering my friend up, did occur and I'm happy for that. I bought her some mini-eggs. which I gave to her.

But arrrgh Please don't let this lead to food poisoning!











3 hours later,

Our Dreams don't have deadlines..... So always believe you'll get there...



But don't be standing on Niagara Falls saying " wait a minute" because it's just going to keep on flowing!



It's about not rushing what can take time, and still be reached. yet, not standing still, and allowing time to pass that is wasted.

Okay... So I'm on the last hurdle of my 2 year anniversary here!!



Much has happened; unimaginables for an online community has occurred. Steadfast friendships have been created.

My strength of character went from Zilcho, to Backo!!

My panic-attacks subsided during my stint here also.

I am thankful they occur no more.



I learned a lot more about my fascination of the darker curbs on life. I have felt completely comfortable mingling with like-minded and open-minded to the different people here.

Batchyld introduced me to this place 2 years ago.. She is no longer here, But I still see her on face book.

OK, so I am at this moment, Bleaching my hair!! EEEEEK.. I have NEVER used a blonding colour before in my LIFE..



I'm not going all over blonde, in case it looks shit.

If this turns out Okay, who knows I might go the whole hog.



30 Mins to go and I'll be washing it out.

Ian gets off the boat tomorrow Morning, to then be greeted with Phil Anselmo, and the rest of the Down band.

That is the moment when it'll all hit him. I was talking w/ Ian on msn today as the boat has Wifi.. He's mentally ready and so looking forward to it. I'm the one that is fretting because of the live death threats Phil has had.



I am also SO excited that he gets to mingle, and spend intimate time with one of HIS heroes.. and a member of a band I used to Love.. "pantera" I grew up on those guys!

"I'm Broken" Means a lot to me.

I'll journal More as the time goes on, and I feel what he experiences.. I am still dealing with having a Bodyguard as a Fiance! :)

OK... SO Today I am having thoughts for the first time of Leaving VR.. It's changed or maybe I have outgrown the place!!



Not entirely sure.. But the soul seems to have altered.



Other than my close friends on here, people don't 'talk' unless I initiate!! I get shitty comments on my journal from Admin getting the wrong end of the stick, and takes the passion out of my own writing.



I write to express myself!

There are too many glitches going on these days too.. with recently losing 3 messages in my inbox. I mean... That's just frustrating.. SO if anyone message'd me in the last 24 hours, and I haven't replied, That is probably the reason.



I might be in a disheveled mood because I had a dreadful nightmare last night... And this 'feeling' may pass.... But at the moment.. I feel VR might have had it's day with me.



For my close friends on here.. I am in touch with most of them on other places, and I Love you all.... For that, I thank VR for. And I thank VR for giving me strength to carry on during my traumatic times that thankfully ended, a year ago. I'll sit on this for a bit, and then decide. I never decide when in a down mood.

I logged on.... Saw I had 3 new messages, yet when I got to my inbox, they were not there!! Oddity!



I hadn't deleted them, not even read them... It's a first for messages to go 'missing' like that.

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, I'd be have Almost the entire evening sky in the palm of my hand. I say ALMOST, because by te time I lay my weary body down to sleep at the end of my days, you'll have given me smiles that gave me the whole night sky....



I Love you, Ian.

So.. here we are.. Ian has set off to do his task with Phil Anselmo.. I'm a tad anxious as Phil was havin death threats last week, and if you heard anything about DimeBag Darol, you'd know what happened to him. Well, this threat to Phil, is from the same people.



and my guy, is gonna be making sure, Phil stays alive and look after for the duration of his post.



As I write this, Ian is waiting for the tour bus to pick him up, an take him to port. I'm feeling proud that my guy got asked to do this.

And that I think he's up to the job, even tho the 'usual' Bodyguard has a firearm on him at all times.

I won't be writing about the tour dates or locations for security reasons..



I look forward to having him home in one piece..

what a blast tho huh.... Meeting the very person you grew up to and looked up to in the name of music

Stress is a Killer, of that there is no doubt. It plays a part in virtually every degenerative disease known to the western world. All around us we hear of news of how people ’suffer’ with stress and how it affects them. Try to Imagine your muscles if you never put them under some tension, if you never did any exercise. The muscles would atrohpy; waste away.... Emotional tension is necessary for emotional growth, strength of character, and spirit. Stress is not our enemy; it alerts us of dangers & is our best friend. Any disease, damage, disruption is never ’caused’ by stress. it is our reaction to the stress, whether physical or emotional, that for the most part, is destructive.

----- Attitude.

Attitude to Life & Others can affect how our life goes, decisions we make and friends we make.

Have you ever wondered why it is that two people can experience the same blessings, or suffer the same or similar tragedies in life, and yet both react entirely differently?

Ask two people to look up at the sky.... and tell you what they see.... One may see patches of blue sky, and sun, the other may see only clouds. It is the same sky, but the 2 people have different perceptions of it.

Even suffering brings with it an opportunity of growth, the chance to rise to the challenge; Pain can be an opportunity to change for the better, and become stronger.

---- Problem solving... It’s all a matter of HOW we choose to think in a given situation: ask yourself ’ what can I do to remedy this situ?’

I there is something you can do, do it. Rise to the challenge & take the opportunity to se how effective you can be.

If nothing can be done, simply Relax, remind yourself that in 100 years from now it probably wont make the slightest bit of difference.

If you tried to run a marathon tomorrow, chances are you wouldn't make it, and if you did you might injure yourself in the process.

But if you prepared for it by training. The same is true for dealing with stress. Take only what you can handle at any particular time, and the next day you will be able to tackle a larger load.

" there is no problem bigger than you"

I just got a call from Dirty King!! What a marvelous surprise :)





What an ACCENT.. I mean, I know his voice is on the VR home page and all, but when you hear it in your ear.. it's like Arrrgh...... The best chocolate!



Thank you for calling me DK..



And don't leave, or I'll give you a spanking.

SO Ian has been asked to go and look after Phil Anselmo.. I am so excited for him!!



The notorious member of Down. Ex member of Pantera... Ian is gonna have it cut out for him. But I am so proud that he has been asked to do this.

Getting to see Prague.. *jealous*



I am proud of you babes.. you ROCK!!

Nightqueen89, is an incredible person. She is so very well grounded. We have become close friends over time, At times I think back and wonder how I could have recovered from certain things without her.



She is a Radiant Star that arrived on this Earth, I pray she will always grow, never change.

She deserves nothing but the very happiest of times and the very purest, genuine love that can be discovered. I thank you for your friendship, and I hold you close to my heart.

She is honest, kind, and so very very wise

~~~ Thank you ~~~

Life is an hour Glass........





We go through life sifting through the Grains of sand, picking up the Diamonds in those grains of sand on the way, until the time comes for the Sand to run out or come to an end.

I have been so Sick with a chest Infection.. and now Ian is so sick with it too... I looked after him Saturday night were he was almost delirious with a fever from Hell... I hardly slept that night and stayed right by his side in a camp bed, making sure he was okay.. if he had deteriorated any more I'd have called an ambulance for him.

He is in A & E at this moment, while I am back here having to get kids from school and progress normality.

I still feel shit too... this knocked me for 6. I am worried sick about Ian, because he is so strong and he is feeling so weak right now. He is diabetic too which means his immune system is not normal.

he said even the moment his heart stopped for 10 seconds, and needed resus, he didn't feel as bad as he feels right now.



I am resting myself, and sorting the kids out, and I pray I can be back by him asap. Whether he is in hospital or at home.

I Love you sweetheart, and stay strong in your heart, You will get better.