The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Ups and downs,

Like waves on the beach.

Spining in cirlces,

Not knowing where to reach.



Some have came,

And left have most.

Some left there marks,

Like the shadow of a ghost.



And then when Im ready to move,

One comes back to this place.

Now im not sure where to go,

Should i look that way or stay in this place.



What wasnt wanted by her,

Is now what she longs for.

Do I shut her out,

Or reopen the door.



I speak the truth ,

At every moment of the day.

So Ive warned others,

What might come their way.



And as long as I,

Stick to my words.

Then no one I know,

Should by me, get hurt.



So I will close my eyes,

And hard shall i be thinking.

About where my path should lead,

And what the future has for giving.

There was a smile today,

As the sun peeked through the clouds.

I wanted to leap for joy,

Wanted to yell out loud.



But I can not just yet,

For it may be a dream.

And if this turns out not to be real,

Then you shall hear a blood curdleing scream.



I must be patient,

And watch what is yet to be.

For if things are rushed,

Nothing will ever change for me.



So for now i shall hold it in,

Wont show to much glee.

For Id rather be cautious now,

To later on be happy.

The thoughts come to me,

Like bolts of lightning from the sky.

Crashing into my mind,

If there can be more then you and I.



My mind races,

Flooding me with what could be.

Making me wonder,

If you and I shall become we.



I have walked on this path,

Taking every sharp blow.

And now that paths have been crossed,

Im not sure which way to go.



Do i keep the blinders on,

And walk straight ahead.

Or do I merge with yours,

Hoping my heart wont end up dead.



Is this what there is,

Risking all time and time again.

Will there be a day,

When there wont be anymore pain.



All thats left inside me,

Dreams of what we could become.

But not knowing where you stand,

Is no longer any fun.



Words have been said,

Banter has been dealt.

Do I move any further saying whats on my mind,

Saying what feelings may yet be felt.



Are dreams what we live for,

What we strive to gain.

Or do we just run in circles,

Reliving everyday that there is nothing but pain.



So talk to me directly,

look straight in my eyes.

Tell me whats truly in your heart,

Tell me what you want for our lives.

The cold winds blow,

As summer turns to fall.

I stand in the forest,

It is your name I call.



The leaves float downward,

Like ships on the high sea.

I close my eyes,

And it is your face that i see.



I reach out my hand,

Hoping it you will take.

Praying in my heart.

This wont be just another mistake.



For this moment,

This brief lapse in time.

Things again seem to be promising,

Things seem to be fine.



But this is how it has been,

Throughout all the years.

When something feels like a good change,

Im brought to my knees with eyes full of tears.



I know I should be weary,

That my mind sometimes thinks to much.

That I should take a step back and look,

That my heart i should not rush.



But how do you do that,

Stop what you are.

How do you change your ways,

Look at things from afar.



To me that is not showing,

Who I truly am to be.

I cannot control whats inside,

If I shadowed it that wouldnt be me.



I am what you see,

No fog covered game player.

My heart is open for the taking,

Maybe youll be the one and not another slayer.

Is this for real,

Where the road has led.

Or is this just a fantasy,

And again my heart will end up dead.



I smile now,

When I see her name.

But will be leary,

Although I dont think its a game.



I must go slow,

Must not be to fast.

For this time what I seek,

Is for something to last.



I know shes been hurt,

As much as i have been.

So with that in mind,

I will start out as her friend.



And if down the road,

Things progress to much more.

Then never again will she wonder,

Who might walk through the door.



He would not promise,

Things to be always great.

For there are outside influences,

Everyday pushing on the gate.



But would let her know,

From the very start.

If she deems worthy,

He will hand over his heart.



And then at that time,

She can decide for herself.

Wether she wants to walk on this path,

Or put this life chapter on the shelf.



He does know this,

And is certain of what he feels.

That their paths did cross,

For a reason yet to be revealed.

A man and a woman,

Stand on a cliff by the sea.

Wishing toghether,

Theirs lives become happy and carefree.



The waves crash in,

Below on the beach.

He grasps her hand,

And asks her to leap.



She looks into his eyes,

And nods her head yes.

For this would be,

Their loves ultimate test.



They do no jump,

As they want to live.

Looking in each others eyes,

Sharing all they have to give.



The road they know,

Wont be perfect every day.

But try they will,

To make it that way.



The then move side by side,

And walk on their path anew.

Knowing not where it will lead,

But knowing it is the right thing to do.



They can be as 1,

Sharing all that is out there.

They just need to know,

The other does care.



Who knows what lies ahead,

On this bumpy road.

But open your heart,

And Id galdly help carry the load.



So if you care to,

Take hold of my hand.

And let us begin our walk,

Into this new unknown land.

Time is running out,

The batteries have begun to die.

I really dont mind going now,

For nothing gets better no matter how hard I try.



I am persued,

By a tormenting foe.

So I am fed up with this place,

I am ready and willing to go.



I pick a blade,

From the block made of wood.

It glimmers in the light,

Its edge is sharp and shall fillet quite good.



I glide the blade,

Lengthwise down my arm.

I don not feel anything,

The scene is serene and calm.



The fluid is flowing,

Like thick red paint.

With each beat of my heart,

I grow weaker feel very faint.



I am growing tired,

And am feeling so cold.

I slip to the floor,

For as I reach out there is nothing to hold.



Is sit in a pool of red,

Watching the light begin to cease.

I close my eyes, get into the boat,

I am finally at peace.

The eyes were closed,

And dreams did ensue.

But they were not happy,

They were dark this is true.



For even in slumber,

I am haunted by my woes.

The only visitors in my dreams,

Are from my evil foes.



Is dreaming worse then being awake,

For the path it seems so dreary.

The strife and struggle I deal with,

Has made me exhausted and weary.



I do not anymore know,

Where the line now stands.

Between what is real,

And what is showing in my dreamland.



So now I wonder if it is time,

To stop my beating heart.

For in my eternal slumber,

Thered be nothing to tear it apart

A leap of faith,

Is that what it would take.

Or would this leap,

Be yet another mistake.



He knows what he seeks,

And hopes its out there.

But waiting for the ship to come in,

Has brought nothing but despair.



He walks in slow motion,

Not feeling any reason to rush.

For life so far has brought nothing,

But his heart crush after crush.



Some pass by his side,

Which he wants to reach for.

But is very weary,

Of walking through another door.



He waits in the darkness,

For a shining light.

So that life can once again begin,

Never again a lonely night.

This reality that i am in,

Just seems to go around.

Like a viscious circle,

Drilling me further underground.



Why is everything,

That is placed in front of me.

Shadowed be heartache,

With chains of which I cant break free.



Each time I think it will change,

Into something worth staying for.

I get punched in the stomach,

And then slammed is the open door.



What is the point,

Of looking to what may come.

When everytime I give out my heart,

It gets crushed as if shot with a gun.



I am so tired of lies,

And falseness from females.

Are they sent to me,

To drive into my coffin more nails.



Is there not one out there,

Whos heart is wholly true.

And is looking for what is offered,

So she may no longer be blue.



I am begining to think,

It is just not so.

And that Im here for entertainment,

Just here for a show.



This unreal reality,

That ive been placed in.

Needs to change quickly,

Before I commit an ultimate sin.

The air is still,

With a very musty smell.

Here I lie wounded,

In the bottom of this well.



I can see only darkness,

Until the moon passes by.

But I can not move,

Not an inch as hard as I try.



I am left here to rot,

With only my thoughts by my side.

Which will drive me crazy,

Until the moment I die.



My dreams are like razors,

Cutting me to the bone.

Reminding me every moment,

I live not in a happy home.



I have longed for happiness,

For all my years.

Ive gotten nothing in return,

But a shattered heart from all the tears.



Nothing ever goes as planned,

It never works itself out.

Try as hard as I may,

Its so hard not to pout.



I dont seek much,

To complete this damaged life.

Just someone special to walk with,

Whom someday Ill be honored to call my wife.



All say it takes time,

To mend the wounds agape.

But time is not on my side,

Im dying inside more each and every day.



So i reach up my hand,

For someone to take.

But please be gentle,

For i can stand no more heartache.

The water rises,

To my neck it flows.

It is cold like ice,

Why does my fear not grow.



I am tired of being,

Everyday is the same.

Nothing ever changes,

Its all repeating in this game.



The script seems written,

A long time ago.

Only the players are different,

And again there is nothing to show.



What am I to do,

To change this steadfast curse.

Why does every next day,

Seem evidently worse.



I can not stand,

To accept much more pain.

All my cards have been shown,

There semms like nothing to gain.



I need to do,

Something drastic and insane.

I must push the envelope,

Before all life has drained.



It is time now,

Time to flow the blood red.

It is time to bleed,

Bleed until I am dead.

All the days,

Seem to be as one.

There is no joy,

No happiness or fun.



The routine is the same,

Nothing but do I work.

For even with heartache,

Responsibilities I cannot shirk.



After long hours toiling,

With little to show.

I enter the darkness again,

As Ive nowhere to go.



No one to come home to,

To look in someones eyes.

To feel relief with comfort,

Instead the empitness makes me cry.



Mybe there is,

Some point to it all.

And hopefully sometime soon,

I will hear someones call.