So Many Things in my Head
So Many Things in my Heart
And so Many Things that don’t want the same in me
I want to live
But I want to die
I want to love
But I can’t be loved
I want to smile
But all I do is cry
I want to feel peace
But all I feel is wrath
I want to feel warm arms around me
But I feel only the cold darkness
I don’t want to be alone
But even when I have friends there is no one there
I cry and I cry
I cry til I don’t have any tears left
I cut my skin to ease my pain
But it doesn’t help
I cut some more
and more
just to ease the pain
I can see the crimson red blood
on my white skin
I can taste it
The sweet taste of my own blood.
For a minute I feel the peace
I wanted to feel
I try to hold on too that feeling
But it is gone.
I can’t catch the pease I’m longing for.
It has to be given to me
But is there one that have that pease to give?
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