I wish I could exchange you for something else
Something stronger
Make me hallucinate again
Intoxicate my brain
I'll lose my mind just one more time
Your like my internal toy
Satan's little doll
Chain you up
Paint you black and white
We'll pretend that I'm pretty
And they'll pretend that you're not
Ask me for it one more time
I'll leave you mute
Cut out your eyes
With the bones from your own fingers
Sitting in front of me uneaten
breakfast that was once appealing
now it's cold, stale and forgotten
I'll count the seconds as the clock ticks
nervous emotion in my head
my brain is in an uproar
chaos
confusion
surreal
I'm numb
I'll check the clock again
watch the time tick by
It's just a cruel joke
I'll think to myself
reassuring myself it's not real
Just a hard lesson
I won't forget again
altered
retrace the conversations in my head
over and over
every little detail
all significant
all ignored
all forgotten
I'd love to scream "I told you so"
But ill stay quiet
let the silent sobs come
tears falling down my cheeks
an instinct to survive forgotten
I'm so lost in a crowded room
And I don't know how to tell you
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