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or for that matter, care what anyone thinks.

I dont care what anyone thinks when reading my journal but because I have no one to speak to who can sympathize or help a new swan so I write it here.

It hurts to not donate.
It hurts when I feel the weight in my chest from the energy.
It hurts longing so for a connection with some one on such a level and waiting, never knowing if my patience will be for nothing.
It hurts that my first experience with a vampyre wasn't ideal and they ghosted me leaving me alone after this.

And I'm angry.