watching hoarding , i like that show
it remineds me to not hord lol
i have a face book account and some times it is hard to be me on it. i have relatives and friends on there and sometimes i have to worry if one person will offened some one .
and i admit the last few months i have been depressed, and with my grandma dieing it has been more depressing. some days i dont want to get out of bed. but i do. some days i dont want to go to the gym but i make myself.
i no i have energy but i dont feel it, i feel so tired or i want to cry for no reason and it is annoying.
i have been going to a counslor and seeing some one for meds and i just styared the other day, but its like ugh
The One you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The One you just called stupid? She has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The One you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The One you just tripped? She is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think. Put this in your journal
well had to see my therpast today and i was running on 3 hours of sleep well when i got there it was hot as hell and as time went on i was getting over heated, well from no sleep and heat i pucked all over the couch lol
i love you my husband and slaves, and my friends
now lets watch a scary movie
ok i need to go to mic an d do some whoop ass on my step mothers lover, dam, i was hoping to have a quite month
the prick would not allow them to go to the furnal of my grandmother because my brother had to chop wood and my sister had dishs to do, well excuse them they lost there father at a young age and now there grandmother let the kid moarn some
i feel i need to vent for a minute.
i have many friends as my friends no i just lost my grandmother and this is very stressfull for me.
heres my grip i no people have problems, but god dam let me alone with them for a few days, i am in fucking moraning , i just lost some one who was very special to me. some one who i love a lot, i dont give a shit at this moment about your small petty problems, let me moran for a week or so, let me handle my greff and then bring me your problems.
for years i am always there for people, people call on holidays for me or my husband for problems our anversy for there problems , let me have this time, if you respect me as a friend then let me alone with your problems for a week or 2, dont be so freaking selfish.
this still kinda sucks, but each day is getting better. i still hurt and feel angry at the situation. but she is at peace and thats what matters. i always made a point of getting a hold of her. but you always wonder did i call enough i did do enough for her, i no i did ,but it still sucks
bummed i wont make it for the furnal, but i will vist her one day
need coffee, glad to be home
now i got to strat putting thing away , help lol
maybe if i write this out i can quite dweling on it
on the 25 th my grandmother passed away in the hospice in dade city fl.
we were called in at 7 30 am, and i was told we need to come down my grand ma had maybe a few hours , she was not responding to the nurses. me , mom, and uncle danny got there.
she was laying in bed a breathing mask on her face her eyes closed and her mouth opening and closing, gasping for air. my mother speakes with a nuse my uncle is goes to his mothers side and shakes her , his voice breaking he crys out like a child " mom , mommy please wake up. i love you mommy " he looks so lost. and i set back , a nuse comes in and speaks with us
grandma starts to drowl bial from her mouth, my uncle loving cleans her lips her chin, and holds her hand, me and mom step out of the room so they can have time, i make some hard calls. 30 minutes to a hour later we got back in the room to set and wait, the minutes go by and after a while she sudders and is at peace, my uncle looks to us as if asking " please fix this " but we cant
the nurse comes, the revernad says some words, its done, my grandmother has passed. maybe in death she will find peace, growing up her father sexualy abused her , her mother beat her, her husband was cold and hard, half her sons dead, her favored son could not be bothered to come to his mothers death bed. and she is in a hospice dying of cancer.
after they take her awya we go have lunch and come to her home to clean we are not sure what to do . it is hard moving forward, her body is gone but she lives on .
she had 6 sons, helped woman learn to read, went with out so her family could have what they needed. grew up poor, worked a job at 13 so her sisters could have lunch and christmas, loved her family, was proud, a great cook , a lovely woman and a wonderfull grandmother. i respec ted her and loved her.
i am not very religious but i no she is i hope she is in a place of peace if any one i no deserves it she dose
pat campbell turner
COMMENTS
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Bijou
03:42 Mar 24 2011
I Love watching hoarders.