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With these two hands;

I will rise above.

With this strength;

I will prevail.

With this tongue of silver;

I will undo all I have done wrong.

With these words of prayer;

I will beseech all whom I have harmed.

With these two feet;

I will carry my weight in deciet.

With this pressure;

I will stand above the crowd.

With this heavy heart;

I will learn to love honestly.

With this knowledge;

I will start anew and I will reach success.

Damn you for loving me,

My problems are your fault.

Fuck you for ever trusting me;

I screwed up and screwed you over.

Forget you for letting me win-

I can only hurt you, didn't you know?

Blame yourself for letting me step all over you;

How could you not have known I only cause pain?

Why did you have to be so kind?

I can't relate to you.

Why did you have to be so understanding?

Couldn't you have you just left me alone?

I hate how I blame myself-

For causing your heartace.

I can't stand how I feel at fault;

It wasn't suppose to turn out this way.

Am I pathetic? It's been awhile since I held a conversation with him but his voice still rings in my head and appears in my deams. Am I obsessive? I know it was all a joke to him and he never felt the same way I so deeply felt. Am I sad? I guess it was wrong of me to put so much into something I recieved nothing in return. Am I a loser? I feel so stupid for still caring, I should just move on; but what kills me is that the fact I can't. Am I worthless? I have been left broken in pieces that are scattered everywhere. Am I going to die? I sometimes wish he will show up still, proclaiming his sorrow and begging forgivness I'd easily give. Am I numb? My feelings have embedded into his skin like a felt tip tattoo that can easily be washed off.

I am pathetic. I have come to accept my lose but I have yet to regroup. I am obsessive. I wish I was with him, or at least near him, just to stare hopelessly at his prefect form. I am a loser. I never win and I never will, this was predetermined. I am worthless. My heart, my soul, my body, I am a penny of existance. I am going to die. I have given up my future and I have poundered my past and all I have seen were my hopes and dreams. I am numb. I leaving now, for now and forevermore.