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10 entries this month
You Call Those Obstacles? 07:41 May 30 2011
Times Read: 554
The weight of all the intricacies of the english language are heavier than I supposed before endeavoring to express myself within the confines of this journal. Sitting pensively, I have been scouring the wreckage of sentiment and sincerity for what resembles clarity. Even the charred remnants of illumination's battered corpse among the rubble of my intellect would at this point be a source of hope. This vaste wasteland where nothing thrives save for a single source of warmth, though heat is only inferred. Reminders of delusional conquests made worse by the reality that so consistently evades anything other than my peripheral vision. For a time it was surreal and so devine that to contemplate it's departure was an occasion I dared not consider. Yet, I knew it would eventually come as it always does. Followed, of course, by a memory so vivid it can be recalled anywhere, anytime by the simplest and slightest of experiences. Damn you eloquence! Where hast thou travelled and when shall you return? I've received not even a postcard as you take your leave and journey on alone across the planes of consciousness. I envision you vacationing, I suppose, with reason on the beaches of some far away coast where peace and prosperity are plentiful and bind you to one another in a way that no man has known. It seems your arrival is expected the same way a child prepares to see Santa Claus. Fabled, yet supposedly evident in the wealth of experience provided by another as you shoplift the credit and continue to allow the populace residing in emotion to spread the decietful rumor of your existence. Yet, the cookies and milk of my soul are laid bare in the hopes that you will simply pass through and leave me with something more than I currently possess. Fables are for children, and there is nothing to say when the one that mines your soul is also responsible for the production and refinement of the coal that shall be distributed as diamonds to the highest bidder. So, bid, I beg of you, Sweet Release. Bid me adieu that I might finally awaken to the reality I so long to be a part of. For in the absence of color I have learned to abhor the darkness. As the light shines upon me and the colors are reborn, I dream only of escape that I may be held captive by a greater, more noble cause than any I have previously known. At last, a single, radiant beacon has appeared upon the horizon. And in its warmth the sun which resembles her. Blinding and brilliant, she beckons me without so much as saying a word. And I run. I run with the determination and conviction that one day I will once again not only lay eyes upon her majesty, but caress her as well if but only for a moment. And in that moment, I will rejoice in the presence of perfection.
Don't Tell My Heart, My Achy Breaky Heart :P17:19 May 27 2011
Times Read: 594
I love how people just seem to ignore things when their emotions get invovled. For instance, all those who jump head first into "love" and then complain afterwards about getting hurt. How did you not see the potential for that? There is always an element of risk when exposing yourself or making yourself vulnerable. If you didn't consider that before you chose to give that person the ability to hurt you, then it's your own damn fault. You may not be responsible for THEIR actions, but you are responsible for letting them get that close. If you process it ahead of time and make a well-informed decision, there is no reason for regret later on. Maybe the relationship works, maybe it doesn't. But in the end, at least you reconcile the positive and negative potential that exists ahead of time and are able to focus on the current status of said relationship as it is happening.
It's called personal accountability. We can't ALL be victims ALL the time. That's just preposterous
Now, if someone will kindly make my ass a sammich, I will love them forever! Even if said said sammich tastes horrible and leaves me filled with dissapointment :P
Spelunking, Anyone?07:24 May 25 2011
Times Read: 611
Expression via the written language is a byproduct of the experience in its entirety. Waging wars with syllables and phrases, it has become a losing battle. Defeat, though imminent, has not yet conquered the desire to partake of the solace that could be had if only momentum would shift in my favor for a short period of time. Somehow, the means must be made available by which I can strategically execute some sort of glorious final stand. Sometimes the greatness of a thing is not evident through victory, but by a valiant effort and unwavering resolve to refuse the urge to flee and perish if need be. I suppose the pen (or keyboard, as the case may be) shall be pried from my cold, dead hands before I will cease to put forth the effort to paint the parchment with the ink of my soul. In that final breath, perhaps something will be contributed that will justify the broken phrases and misplaced sentiments of a lifetime. Or, maybe someone will come along with a means of deciphering all of the entendres and veiled interpretations of what I have attempted to communicate along the way. Then again, it could all just pass away never having had an impact on anyone or anything beyond the superficiality of the moment and the influx of temporary emotion.
Time will tell.
It's Baaaaaaccccckkkkkk!18:56 May 24 2011
Times Read: 627
Pressing issues are hard to work out when they just keep arising :) Perhaps a more persistent approach and aggressive determination will alleviate it temporarily and provide the necessary satisfaction to function on a more appropriate level
:)
Who Said That15:10 May 23 2011
Times Read: 642
Rejoining the masses after quite some time. Now I'm just like some of you people. Oh, the horror!
Oh, and if you're looking to adopt and wish to learn a foreign labguage at the same time, try foreign babies. They're like Rosetta Stone with fat rolls.
Buenos Dias, Mi Amigos
Who The Fuck Are You and Where Did I Go?16:20 May 20 2011
Times Read: 671
I know better than to do things like that. Seriously. Pull your head out of your ass and get back in the game, Seeks. ASAP. Before you drive this bike right off the cliff.
And for God's sake wear a helmet this time. Maybe some Kevlar, as well.
I've Got My Token. Where's The Bus?01:26 May 16 2011
Times Read: 693
My natural tendency is to overanalyze and generally ponder something into the ground. What caused it to be the way it is? Would I prefer it to be different? If so, Do I have the determination or capabilities necessary to alter it? Would it retain those attributes I most enjoy if I were, in fact, successful in my attempt to improve it? In the end, I always go after what it is I desire.
This time, not so much. To act at this particular juncture could create negative consequences I don't think I'm prepared to deal with.
Plus, I've been here before and am applying previous lessons. Three cheers for learning and the application of knowledge!
While "waiting" is generally something I never endorse, I think it's appropriate right now. As always, I will use this opportunity to prepare for the appropriate time of action, so that I may move swiftly and with purpose when necessary.
I do know that within 24 hours, things have already changed. It will be interesting to see the end result of these current circumstances.
With Crimson Goggles You Can't See Me Creeping!18:06 May 10 2011
Times Read: 723
Verily, Verily I say unto thee......Tis better that thou should eat a dick than refer to "Crazy Jesus" as a Communist.
Apparently, those are fighting words
:)
Jugga What?????03:15 May 06 2011
Times Read: 751
Will someone please explain to me what the difference is between a real Juggalo and a fake Juggalo?
As far as I can tell the guy who coined the term was probably original, in his own retarded kind of way; and every other dumb motherfucker who labeled themselves with it afterwards is fake.
Oh, and if you don't have the ability to spell correctly or use complete sentences, don't bother responding as you probably aren't smart enough to grasp the question in the first place.
I have met countless people on here who say they are Juggaloes or Juggalettes. Out of them all, there is only 1, yes ONE, that actually turned out to have some originality and was worth having multiple conversations with. Out of respect for that person I won't mention her name here. I'd hate for her to be lumped in with all those asshats.
So, how about it? Can anyone actually DEFINE the difference between those two groups? Or should I draw my own conclusion, which is: "There is no difference. They're all attention seeking retards who are overcompensating for their fear of actually interacting with society in a functional way by painting on new faces and talking out of their ass"
Please help. The confusion is killing me. All you people look alike :)
Lost and Found All At Once07:55 May 02 2011
Times Read: 771
I scour this landscape so filled with words, desperately picking those that are ripe with emotion and depth. My struggle is one that leads me to believe that there are none that will suffice in this hour of need. Like the oxygen I crave, so is all that is offered when you speak or cast a glance my way. This moment where everything ceases to exist except you in all your glory. Transending all that I've known and stirring the premonition that all I shall know will pale in comparison. It consumes me. You are a mystery that is so familiar, yet so incomprehensible that I am perpetually in a state of awe; engulfed in a sea of madness, never knowing where I am going or where I have been. Amnesia at its finest, I assure you.
From whence you came I shall never know, though I attempt to learn your ways as though my life depends upon it. Out of my element, I cling to the hope that at some point I will find myself in familiar surroundings, once again able to grasp a sense of where I am, which will give me some indication of where I must go. This wilderness threatens to engulf me in all of its wonder and beauty. The landscape you provide distracting me from all that would save me, even myself. The thing that frightens me most is the knowledge that if I were to perish in your midst, and disappear forever, I wouldn't change my course. I'd utilize my final breath to stay right here, surrounded by you.
:)
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COMMENTS
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Bellanova333
08:05 May 30 2011
wow... you better stop that... your making me like you... ohhhhhhh god.... not that...
no seriously though, why doesn't your talented ass right a book or something... get some mula for that shit... I know... I know it was all about the spiritual... but hey just go to your local book store and find how much that sells now a days...
Truly my friend, all joking aside, mostly =P, you have such a gift and I do so enjoy reading your beautiful thoughts placed before us in such inadequate language for us to read ;)
Sulks
14:21 May 30 2011
Eloquent, expressive and perfectly articulate.
Deity
17:47 May 30 2011
Beautifully written.