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Madres Mexicanas
14:50 Nov 27 2007
Times Read: 680




The great things Mom taught me:



My mother taught me RELIGION -

"Ay Bendito, pídele a Dios qué yo no te agarre, cabron."



My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -

"No mas deja qué lleguemos a la casa, huerco fregado!"



My Mother taught me about my ROOTS -

"Mal agradecido, cuando yo era chiquita, no teniamos ni Playstation ni Nada!"



My mother taught me LOGIC -

"Como que por qué? Porque YO digo!"



My mother taught me about INSPIRATION -

"Si llegas con malas calificaciones, te voy a dar con la chancla, huerco flojo"



(And my favorite...)



My Mother taught me about WISDOM-

"Tu crees qué sabes todo, verdad? Aprende a limpiarte la cola primero!"

Grandma's boyfriend
20:43 Nov 16 2007
Times Read: 682








A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys

in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma,

how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"



Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bed room and

watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and

the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."



Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started

adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she

started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.



The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and

there stood Grandma's minister The minister said, "Hello son, is your

Grandma home?"



The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."



The minister fainted.



Now, that right there is funny.....I don't care who you are!

Thought for the day...
21:44 Nov 09 2007
Times Read: 684




Friends...



Friends are like butt cheeks.

Crap might separate them,

But they always come back together.