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So today has officaially been the worst day since yesterday. The guy I love DWK don't want me anymore and he claims I don't love him. But who is to say that just because he has someone doesn't mean I don't. I was in the wrong for the shit I did but I can't help that. I made so many mistakes to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore. I work night and day to please him giving him whatever he wants and still I'm not good enough. This love is trifiling and the sad thing is I know I'll follow him to the grave. Obsession or love? I don't even know anymore.. I just wish I did because maybe then I won't feel so alone...

COMMENTS

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darktader
06:41 Oct 11 2009

Chasing the only thing that makes you stay alive, is unhealthy for the soul but, then again...without love...how would we begin to trust anything past our emotions?



-JNL

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So I spent another day locked in this depressive world where inside I'm broken. The blood is slipping down my wrists and I can no longer control the tears that fall down my face. As I sit here typing this I wonder if this is where I belong. My only companion the Insane Clown Posse album that Jimi allowed me to download to the computer. As I hear the calm cool voice of Violent J and Shaggy I wonder if they ever went through the same things I have or if they had it worse. They never took their fame to thier head so maybe now it's a good thing. I'm still scared that I'll be alone forever and some part of me is begging to be released from this all consuming need to die... The more the blood runs the happier I feel. So feel free to hurt me, stand in line and get your ticket honestly I like the feel.