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You know those moments when songs just come along pretty close to the situations your are living at the time and provide clarity closure or enough grit to ask the hard questions to someone you are getting complicated with?

Yeah that didn't happen here.

In fact... I'm damned surprised that in the ENTIRE length of time I spoke with them... this song NEVER, NOT ONCE played, nor did my playlists bring it around.

Tragic.

Because I could have used this point of view to really understand what I was going through a little better. And maybe I would have chosen to take care of me, a tiny bit better.

The different points of view that can be interpreted are, well, a given.

But... that's for the ear of the listener.

As for me? I thought I was done with photographs of her. But this song truly was one final nostalgic photo of her... I never knew I took. Top of the list of songs, she never sung me.

I thought I knew the girl that I was in love with, but I was, quite clearly, shown how wrong I was. In spite of the familiar turned back I was getting accustomed to.... And in learning that slow lesson... I sooner could have chosen to let go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
… One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

… In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

… And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

… I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on lovin' you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through

… In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

… And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go

… And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside

I know, I know

But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

… You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go

… You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(You don't know)
You love me but you don't know who I am
… You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(You don't know)
You love me but you don't know me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you do when the nightmares start to melt around you? When that sense of dread and anxiety starts to dissipate from your life? When the world starts to feel bigger... more spacious and you feel like you can actually breathe again?

Well... you get ready for those few that won't stand for that to make an appearance and brace yourself for what cute tricks they have to attempt to ruin the peace that is finally settling into your life.

Greet them grinning and nod at their advances. They don't have much else to do, and they'll grow bored of keeping you as a target.

Bask in your gloriously earned egotistical godliness... that you never did anything to them to earn nor deserve their ire. That's what true peace is. Not carrying guilt for actions carried in anger and hate. And most definitely, not carrying the regret around for those that aren't worth that burden.

Amusingly enough.... peace, and pettiness have something in common.