16:38 Dec 27 2007
Times Read: 552
I am sick of people for a number of reasons. It seems everybody has problems...Everybody thinks they can take advantage of those who bend over backwards for them. They take your trust and abuse it over and over again. SO much for the words 'friendship' 'loyalty' and 'morals'.
What exactly has been going on with me that i would say that?
Well let us take a look...
I left for England a week and a half ago. There of course were problems.
Right from the off, it felt strange to be back 'home', then throw the whole family into the mix and we have issues.
Georgina and dad just wont fucking get along. George wont talk, she keeps retreating into herself....Dad just doesnt know what the fuck else to do...I wanna try and get them to talk, which sort of happened....but fuck if it made things any better.
On top of this, Jing came down at 1:30 last night to talk to me, of course im the only one she can get shit out to because im the one that gets what she is going through.
Simultaneously, i have found out that two of my closest friends, both of whom i have mentioned in here mulitple times, have betrayed me. Lied to me, humilated me and dissapointed me to a degree i never expected from either of them.
They have disgusted me. Disturbed my view of them to a point that i can't see them as decent human beings anymore.
Ive been thinking a lot about love, and relationships at the same time also.
I have feelings for a friend, someone i've been hanging around with for almost 2 months now....Apparently, my ability to express myself through a journal (Not on VR) has upset somebody who has feelings for me also. Well La dee fucking da.
IM so sick of treading on eggshells, censoring how i feel, to such an intense degree, just so that the people i know read my shit arent going to be hurt or upset....
Well get over it. im sorting my life, heart and self out and if that is just too hard of a concept for you to grasp then go the fuck away.
Im done being nice to people done trusting them, done bending over backwards and being there for people who are either going to stab me in the back, or expect more then what i can offer them.....
Stay the fuck away from me.
Dont talk to me. I want NOTHING to do with those people anymore.
As soon as i arrive back home shit is gonna change....IM going to be working, going to school and surrounding myself with people who are actually here, and are heading in the direction i want my life to go. And that is forward.
IM done being there for everyone putting my shit aside so i can listen to you bitch, complain and moan about whatever is going wrong in your life. Why dont you shut the fuck up and try and sort your problems out instead of crying about it.
YOU are in charge of your own destiny and life. No one else is to blame for where you are right now but yourself.
Get. Over. It.
Move on.
"Why do you write in my journal??? You complain and bitch all the time....! Who are you to be hypocritical about people who cry about where they are in life..."
Dude, It's my fucking vent system. Do i cry on peoples' shoulders about every little thing that goes wrong, expecting them to find answers for me? No.
I vent, i get it out, i write down shit that needs to get out....other wise i'd explode and do something stupid. Probably to grab somebodies attention.
Unlike people who will use vices or people to make themselves feel better. Instead of being an adult (which they certainly should be at this age) and learning how to cope with your issues and responsibilities....
Grow the fuck up and be a man/woman.
Keep your goddamned pants on and your head straight for fuck's sake.
YOu can apologise to me all you want. Yell at me and cuss me out, and see everything thats wrong with how i am going about things. Go for it.
Want to know why you are reacting this way? Because i have a handle on my emotions now, and my life, unlike you.
Jealousy won't get you anywhere. Over reacting wont get you shit all from me. I have No sympathy anymore. IM not listening to you grype and moan and cry. Get over it.
I dont trust you and a number of people anymore. This could be from something you've done/said....or just from a personal decision.
Im not talking about any one specific person, im talking about all of you.
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