The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

What is your name: Belairah Razahl



How old are you?: Me, or the body I'm in? I'm twenty-two, the body is thirteen.



When is your Birthday?: November something...I say October 31st though.



What is your zodiac sign?: I'm not sure...



Where were you born?: Eldorado, Arkansas, The United States Of America, Earth, the Milky Way Galaxy.



Where do you live now?: Eldorado, Arkansas, The United States Of America, Earth, the Milky Way Galaxy.



What color are your eyes?: Sinitone. (Bluish-violet.)



What color is your hair?: Medium brown.



How tall are you?: I'm not sure...



How much do you weigh?: Not sure...



What is your worst fear?: My loved ones leaving me, betraying me, using me, or just leaving me period.



Do you smoke?: Nope, and I don't plan to.



Do you drink?: Not yet, but I want to try once or twice.



Do you cuss?: Yeah, but I'm not one of those people that cuss every other word.



Do you use drugs?: No, but I want to try Salvia. ^_^



Have you or will you ever steal?: For one of my loved ones, I would.



Are you dependable and/or trustworthy?: I guess so.



Do you play in a band or play an instrument?: Nope.



Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?: No...But I will soon.



Do you suffer from depression disorder?: Sometimes.



If you had a choice about how you wanted to die what would it be?: Okay, you're gonna think I'm completely psycho, but I'd like to die after my love screws me, or when I'm surrounded by my loved ones. ^_^ I partially agreed with Jamie.



Have you ever tried to commit suicide?: Um...Not willingly.



Are you evil?: Depends...Define evil.



Do you believe that you can be possesed?: Yes, it happens when I let it.



Are you a paranoid?: Nope.



Do you ever get jealous of somebody else?: Very rarely.



Are you obsessive and/or compulsive?: Obsessive sometimes.



Are you a violent person?: Only when necessary.



Do you blame other people for your mistakes?:

No.



What is your favorite game?: I don't know.



Who is your favorite band?: WAY too many...I love metal.



What is your favorite song? Constantly Changing...



What kind of books do you read?: Stuff about Magick and Religion.



Favorite authors: WAY Too many...



What is your favorite color?: Purple.



What is your favorite food?: Hmm...I don't know.



What is your favorite drink?: Blood when I can get my hands on some...But if I took it from someone I love, I would feel guilty...



Do you skateboard?: Hahaha, no.



Do you watch wrestling?: Nope.



Do you study martial arts?: Does Google count?



Would you ever kill yourself or someone else?: I'd die for those I love in a heartbeat.



Are you a virgin?: Me or the body?



Are you kinky?: Depends on your meaning of the word.



Do you like biting?: Hell YES!



Do you watch pornography?: No.



Have you ever dyed your hair an unusual color?: No.



Are you hyper active person?: No.



Do you like to write poetry?: Sometimes.



Do you like to do your own photography?: I like to.



Do you have any self inflicted scars?: By me or by the person who used to live in this body?



Are you religious?: Depends.



Do you believe in vampires?: Hahaha, yes.



Do you believe in witchcraft?: Yes.



Have you ever played a oiuja board or used tarot cards?: Tarot Cards.



Do you like to rave or go to clubs often?: No.



Do you go to many concerts?: I want to.



Do you like meeting new people and hanging out?: Sometimes.



What do you like most about life?: That I have people to love, and recieve love from, in it.



Do you believe in love at first fright?: Hahaha, yes.

COMMENTS

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YourDarkness
11:02 Mar 25 2009

Salvia! ^_^



Haha! How you want to die, agreeing with Jamie you sicko! =P Actually, it does sound appealing, in an unusual way, haha.

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When will this be the way I need it to be? Esros is on Kashube, and I don't know how to get him back...I can't fix this by myself...Why? Esros is ALWAYS happy...Even when he's scared out of his mind...I can't do that! How can he? I deserve to be happy! SO WHY CAN'T I BE?? Esros is going to be castrated by the Syndicate and I can't stop them! Why? He's gay! Why does he have to go through that?? HE CAN'T CONTROL THAT!!! HE WON'T HAVE ANY SEXUAL FEELINGS AFTER IT!!! Why can't they just take me??? I'm the one who let him go...Who actually trusted Kenuba on one thing...To not hurt her friend...If anything happens to him...I won't be able to handle it...I can't let him die...I won't let him FUCKING DIE! ADOKEN CAN'T LET HIM DIE! THIS ISN'T FUCKING RIGHT! THINGS CAN'T TURN OUT LIKE THIS! I probably made Adoken depressed...I told him that if anything happened to Esros, I wonder consider his blood as being on his hands...This isn't his fault. Why? Why? Why?? FUCKING WHY?????? GODDAMMIT WHY????

COMMENTS

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YourDarkness
10:57 Mar 25 2009

Esros will be okay.. I'm sure of it.. He must be. ^_^

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TheDevilsHarlot
08:16 Apr 08 2009

Keep making positive journal comments! ^_^

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I don't understand...I should feel good, shouldn't I? I have the PERFECT husband, the perfect bestfriend, the perfect siblings, the perfect children, the perfect grandchild, immortality, people at my disposal who have POWERFUL armies at their disposal, yet I don't feel like it matters when I'm alone...And I know that I'm not TRULY alone...But it always feels that way...I should feel good. I should feel happy. But I don't when I'm not with people I love. Goddammit. I should be happy! Everything is PERFECT! ALL OF IT! Everything feels so dark when they're gone...Not the kind of dark that I feed on and love...A horrible dark...June, and Esros when he was still here, says that I'm working too hard to help everyone else, and not helping myself...I don't know if she's right or not...But it felt like a bat hit me in the head when I heard it...I feel happy when I'm with Him...I feel happy when I'm talking to Kina, Meme, Lilith, Esros, Keegan, Amaya, Layla, Kristen, Melody, Natasha, Faye, Nloa, Karuba, June, Ellen, Lavyn, Lori, Keiuth, Syrius, HELL EVEN SIR CASPIAN! I just feel like I need to see that the people I care about are happy before I can ever let myself be....And I know I sound like a stupid whiney bitch...But it's true.

COMMENTS

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YourDarkness
10:56 Mar 25 2009

You are such a kind person.. With such wonderful qualities. ^_^ I'm so glad to have met and befriended you.. I wish you happiness, and don't worry, all of us will find happiness somehow too, eventually. I'm sure of it.

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TheDevilsHarlot
08:15 Apr 08 2009

I'll try to remember it, if you try to.

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