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2 entries this month
02:41 Jun 07 2011
Times Read: 439
I'd thought it was a beer bottle but as I got closer it turned out to be a bird--a reflection of how my day is going I guess. Here I'd thought I had found a discarded semblance of the barest respite, a message from the universe saying, "sure, go for it. It's about time for a stiff one." Only upon further investigation did it transmute and flutter off. Oh well, it's about time I stop substituting the brew for Prosac anyway.
I could still go to the bar tonight. My pockets are pulled right-side out to busting seems but I'm sure Shirl' will break out the tab-sheets for old times' sake. Plus, there's been a cougar prowling Charlie's for weeks now plying me with rounds coyly sent to my table with a wink/wave/smile as a chaser. I can handle that. I may have to throw on the charms a little but I'll be the first to admit that I've done far worse for far less.
It may not be a dreaded night spent dry after all...
04:30 Jun 04 2011
Times Read: 462
No, I don't think you're cute. Seriously. I could translate that into drunk chick gibberish for you if I didn't have to expend more energy than I'm willing on you already trying to extricate you from my torso. Honestly, I don't understand why young women think we're attracted to "Woopsi, I guess I had one too many... *wink wink*" No. First off, that just shows that you can't hold your liquor-not cute. "I'm just little, I forget how low that makes my tolerance... *nudge nudge*" Here's a thought, eat a sandwich and go home. Your extensions are getting in my eye and I'm choking on your Brittany Spears perfume. Secondly, even if I bought that you were as tipsy as you claim I'm sure as hell not going to be the last face you remember before you pass out. Yeah, I'll carry your emaciated ass out to a cab but that's about it. Plus, I'm insulted that you'd think I'm ever desperate enough to have to lure a sloshed co-ed home. Why would I be attracted knowing I'd have to buy you drinks all night and then do all the work at the end of the night. I don't want to clean up your puke any more than you do. Sorry, not interested. Let me have the night I planned with people more interesting than you, because teeny, tiny drunk girls are just as obnoxious as the teeny, tiny yappy dogs they carry around all day.
No sir, not for me. Give me a sarcastic broad in a little black dress and a shot of Jack any day.
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