Forgiveness is for me. If you have hurt me you don't get to decide the timeline of when I "get over it". You don't get to say "I'm over it so you shouldn't be holding a grudge."
Forgiveness for the action that hurt me has already occurred. I have let go of the anger from the action. My husband may maintain the friendship between you and him, choosing to move past you hurting me but that's him. I don't have to deal with you. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. It means I have moved past the anger, the deep rooted emotions. The only time I even think about you is when my husband ignores my boundaries and when you try to force interaction.
I'm finally over the cycle of you treating me badly and me ignoring what you did one or two days later. Twelve years of you being mean and hurtful, while expecting me to be a go between for you and my husband because he has his moments of being a man child, expecting me to do chores for you that you can't. You finally did something that made me want to break the cycle.
I'm no longer angry over what was done. I am no longer resentful. I have forgiven you, I am just not willing to forget it this time. I may be annoyed with the attempts to cross my boundaries and I may be annoyed my husband keeps letting you ignore my boundaries, but I have finally found my peace.
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