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Woke up wishing I lived an entirely different life. This isn't what I wanted. There is no happiness. I don't think I have ever once experienced a moment of true happiness. *sigh

I'm so tired of all the chaos. I hate all the noise around me. I miss complete silence. Reason I don't sleep at night is because it's the only time i can enjoy being alive. Because its the only time I'm not anxious or stressed out. I yearn for a day where i can spend 24hrs in my bed without having to move or speak to anyone. Maybe solitary confinement is what i need. I envy those that can be in a dark room and not have to ever speak to anyone but myself. I know this sounds dark but I just cant. I cant handle ot anymore.