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As i have grown custom to my own madness a simple tear for me in no allowed man has broken me shattered me by terrors not even my dream could conjour up i write this not for information for insight into my mind ...



i am evil honestly i have no dought about it i have done thing that angel temselves have cryed four but why i mean im not looking for acceptance from no one it manely has the reason to itself i was told in a dream i had many moons ago that i was to become a warrior a great fighter of the end of days but sadly i was not fighting with the light i was fighting ageinst it when i awake i didnt believe in this drea i thought psssh just a silly dream till i noticed the same mark a girl named eternity showed me it was on my wrist barely visable to the naked eye i felt cold very numb for the next 6 months i was in a mental fog i kept thinking tht i was in one big dream and it would never end but then it hit me oe day the signs made sense the reason i cant cry the reason i cnt love the reason why i hurt myself and put myself through emnse situations of pain the moment where i find myself a warrior all these signs are thing im doing to improve myself to "prepare " if u say i didnt even know i was preparing for such a battle when i was a kid i used to sharpen sticks and for hours i would practivce tecnique and stratagy but what also was my biggest hint was my skitzophrenia i saw not just creatures but things thing tht chellnged me things tht i always beat when i tryed explaining however to my therapist well tht got me sent to a pysciatric asylum for 6 months and day by day i starting becoming separated from reality things started to change for me i began to experiance weird ideas delusions tht i was some great warrior i kept telling myself it was a lie but a spark kept the dream alive at age 14 i was given shock therapy yes i was strapped to a chair and zapped because of my own mind the instant i was zapped it was like a million billion fireworks going off i screamed but i couldnt make out a voice weeks months went by i was nothing more than a zombie i couldnt eat i couldnt sleep i was blank but in my mind i was dreaming i was there fighting a war i was born to fight not a war of human a war of light and darkness i was at war with my mind i was a warrior but all wasnt right i could feel tht this dream would beocme my death and it did on october 14 at 310 am i deliberatly slashed my wrist ina bathtube i wasnt doing it caz i was sad or mad i was doing to fight a war to return to my world where i was somthing more than flesh and bone i failed i merely passed out of blood loss only to awaken next to the same asshole who placed me there the cock sucker actualy smiled and said lets not try tht agein i wanted to rip his throat but i could i was nothig more tha a crazy med head i could barely lift a finger let alone a arm and even then wat am i going to do im trapped here till i get better so i devised a plan fake good stable sanity get free and finsh the job it worked but after a while i was tired broken worn down i didnt wanna fight anymore i wante to be rest not dead i wanted peace but the war it kept playing in my ear at night id dream of battles of demons and angels blood flying the screams of the humans crying in pain a mother holding her baby as she burned to death this madness this pain this war was my own and i had to fight it as best as i could i couldnt go out in daylight for the hallucinations i saw were tht of nightmares i sat inside waiting and waiting for the last sign i was told in the dreams the day your battle begins a demon will come forth a giveth u power so i waited growing more and more frustarted strating thinking tht i was betrayed i fel t like everyone lied to me tht they all knew this was just a big dream tht my hwole life is just a dream i felt like there mocking me by 16 i did a crime unspeakable after 7 weeks of no sleep and studying people my mind ht the switch from control to over the edge i began doing things id never thought i do i found blood to be well the greatest of all i wanted more of it every minute but sadly i couldnt supply my own self with a demoand so great so well i took sombody elses .....i dont wanna talk abot the dark parts if u wanna know inbox me ....8 motnhs back in the pysciatric ward my 17 birthday is approaching yet the war is raging in my ears still will it ever it well my questions was answered one faithful night when i decided to drink a glass of blood my own blood the instant tht cold red liqued hit my lips the sounds stopped everything went quit so i stopped drinking for 20 minute and the sounds came back so i rank agein and they went away i found the myth to the madness but it is hard to do not many will agree with this method now im 19 and yes the war still rages in my mind but now i can control it maybe i am a great soon to be warrior or maybe im just crazy ill leave tht to u to decide