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9 entries this month
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03:27 Jul 26 2005
Times Read: 616
*silently pleas for help...*
Farmerettes and ducks?!?!?!...interesting20:21 Jul 18 2005
Times Read: 619
Started Farmerette camp today...i get to be a duck. how interesting and unique..........
profile...
05:48 Jul 15 2005
Times Read: 621
I have updated my profile...
update...
03:37 Jul 14 2005
Times Read: 622
I now have a new xanga, so if i dont write much in here you can always check there...not much to write here today....Life sucks....
I hate life...
06:23 Jul 13 2005
Times Read: 623
Why must life have to lock u in a room block the door and tell you to find your own way out when there is no other way?
life sucks and i only seem to be digging my hole deeper every night...
My boyfriend asked me tonite why i was depressed...i couldnt answer. Why am i depressed. One day i got this way, now i've dug my hole so deep that theres absolutely no way to get back out....Its dark and deep, no light enters, and no good comes for they are too afraid to enter my world...
Why am i depressed....well maybe if i knew i could get out of it....
Just another pointless entry...
03:53 Jul 13 2005
Times Read: 625
I just felt like updating, but not in detail...
*Problems are still here...trying to fix my life a little at a time, just doesnt seem to be working.
*we got the house, closing it by the end of this week or next week...moving in within the next 1-3 weeks.
*Farmerette camp starts next week, company couple weeks after that...maybe i can finally fill my life with dance again so i dont have time for an actual life...
*having an actual life causes tons of problems....
*life sucks, friends leave, family has problems, i have problems, and uh yea...LIFE SUCKS AND IS POINTLESS, MEANINGLESS, AND FILLED TO THE RIM WITH ABSOLUTE NOTHINGNESS!
thanx for trying to help sara, i truely appreciate you being there for me...i love ya sis!
I hate life...
06:49 Jul 11 2005
Times Read: 627
I swear my life's just gonna keep falling down... I thought it couldnt get any worse than the one true thing that kept me going everyday fell down...
Luke you were the pillar to my building...you fall and my world falls apart. Yet i still love you with all my heart. You say you love me, but then why did we spend hours in silence? Where's the Luke that wanted to love me just last nite? I miss you....
this one was more just for me, so if it was confusing....i'm sry. I dont know who actually reads my journals anyway....
I'm back...
00:49 Jul 10 2005
Times Read: 633
Can't stay off the computer any longer now that's sad...
I've spent the week in Arizona, which was ok i guess...My aunt worked all day so my mom had things for us to do. Yea some of them were ok but i was bored alot of the time. Finally got my sister to open up to me *gasp* but that didn't last long as soon as we got back home the hugs, and late nite talking was over...i miss my lovable sister, the bitch that takes over at home is unbarable....
I every nite on the phone with my bf...lets just say thanx to him we've opened up alot, maybe even too much. I'm starting to think we shared things we really didnt need to know about eachother...not yet anyways and maybe not even ever...Oh and he says hes going to come kiddnap me next year...sometime after January, yea i want to see that happen but i guess he'd finally get his wish...me being there but at what expense?
Looking for a house and we think we've found it...will know tonite...will update on that later....
Well i think i've said enough for now. Will write again soon....
*rolls eyes*
03:01 Jul 04 2005
Times Read: 635
I leave tomarrow to go to arizona...I DONT WANNA!! but my mommy's making me...*pouts lips* ok kiddie kick is over...
Life both sucks and rocks right now...I got a letter from the school the other day saying i either had to move to a house in the district, get an approval to stay at my school, or practically get kicked out of my whole life...the school, drill team, my friends, everything that i stopped cutting for...if i can't go to LHS my whole life is gonna be hell but.....
MY GRANDPARENTS ARE BUYING US A HOUSE!! They're trying to get it by the time school starts so i can still go to LHS, if not i'll only have to go to another school for a couple of weeks...but since i've paid almost $1,000 towards farmerettes i should be able to stay (not to mention "it would really hurt me to change schools after all i've been though" *rolls eyes* whatever works to let me stay at my school...AND I GET MY OWN ROOM!!! just hope it all works out...
I MISS MY LUKE!!! There are still times when i think about running away back to missouri...luke is my life but 2 more years for me to dance with my groups...grr...i would give it up for luke if it were possible, but its not.......
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