The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

There I am standing in front of a mirror

My eyes are bleeding mascara

Reality is scaring me

I have no life

No hope,

All hate.

I feel unwanted, hated, different from others.

I feel so out of place,

Out of sync.

So many mistakes,

So many tears,

So muck crying,

Through out the years...

I am hiding myself from you, from me..

Thinking it would take away my ragged pain,

I can't hold back the tears,

The hurt,

The pain.

I can't look in the mirror anymore..

I yell from pain and shame,

from crying and praying...

How can I face my ragged self,

In the mirror, in life, in hope and anguish.

All I do is wonder:

What are me and they staring at?

Nothing I hope,

Or more accuratly me...

Not my outside image but my inside one..

The one who wishes to be seen,

held,

loved,

and embraced...

hopefully one day........ one day...

How can you love someone you have never seen with a feeling so passionate that it makes your heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice? How can you feel his hands on you, when he has never touched you? How can you feel his lips kiss yours when he has never whispered your name in the night? A love with such passion that life could have never known it in your wildest dreams. Or if it could ever be possible would you turn it away in fear that it could not be real for you had never known such a love. For this love I would take the chance of heartbreak. For I have known a lifetime of heartbreak and heartbreak in itself is of a temporary nature if we allow it to be. But to know just one moment in my life with such passion such feeling such want such need. I would give myself entirely without regret without sorrow without remorse to you your wants your needs your love your life. To deny such a love would be the most fatal of mistakes. To deny myself your love would be an injustice within itself to the name of love. To have a love based on a spiritual not physical beginning could only result in the most special of loves. The love you wait a lifetime for. A love so strong that heaven nor earth could stop it from being. A love for you and I, A love for eternity.

If I was cool, I wouldn't get picked on in school. Wouldn't get kicked on, wouldn't catch shit from everyone - seems to think it's open season on me. Laughter behind my back follows me home on the bus. They're not laughing with me - at me. Attacking with smirks, and words hurt, you know. Sticks and stones break your bones, but words can kill your soul - explodes with every put-down, every beat down. Shards of broken self-esteem cutting up all my dreams - welts on my mind from the fighting my self against my self. i become less than everything, everyone else. I used to be me, now just a fraction of a piece of a part fo the whole. I can't find reasons not to fear - hate turned against myself becomes something really dark - this is how it starts, the depression- and its only





first period...

When love is more than form and face.

When love sees past the bone and skin.

When love fears not but to embrace,

And seeks the soul that lies within.

When truest hearts seek hearts so true,

Brave any danger and the storm.

Then outward semblance be made new.

Then love's own magic shall transform,

bringing two to one and life to bind forever.