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Here we go again with the depressive feelings. It's true that I have been on and off with my medicine ...



Still I can't help but feeling as though there is something missing.



Maybe it's my lack of friends.

Or my lack of life entirely.



Day by day I go to school, come home, get online, sleep. Once in a while I see Stephen.



And honestly .... I think is the friends that I am missing. I want people to hang out with. But apparently I'm not the friend that they want. I'm not the party girl. I don't drink. I don't smoke pot. I don't go to parties. I'm not that kind of girl. I like to have fun ... just not -that- kind of fun.



And I guess that makes me not fun. I guess that makes me boring. I guess that makes me a prude.



And I can't just go and do whatever I want, whenver I want. I'm not super skinny. I'm not a party girl. I can't go and get a tattoo just because I'm 18. I still have to ask my parents if it's okay if I do stuff.



That's just how my life is. And I'm definitely not complaining about how my life is. But the people I thought were my friends just don't seem to understand that that's how things are for me.



I just don't understand WHY things are like this for me.



I am such a friendly person, yet I can't seem to keep people interested in keeping me around.



Something is definitely missing :/











And it is destroying me.

the fact that on VR, you can't write a journal entry and make it private. so .... i was going to write in my journal about something that was bothering me .... but now i can't. So nevermind. Sorry for the disappointment for those who were looking forward to reading something worthwhile :/

COMMENTS

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TheDarkWolfman
10:20 Jan 21 2010

In fact you can make journal entries private...just buy a Premium Membership.

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Theban
12:22 Jan 21 2010

I actually thought it was an option open to every member...oh well!

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AlexandraAshes
20:36 Jan 21 2010

Please do not take offense to this comment, because it is a genuine enquiry.



I never really understood the point of having private entries online...because all content I write that is "private" I just store somewhere else...?



I have wondered about this a lot, so I guess your journal entry was a convenient excuse to actually ask someone.



Why would you want to keep private journal entries here?



As I said, I am not trying to be rude...I really am curious.



XD

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herblackparade
00:36 Jan 22 2010

for me, the point of a journal is to record my thoughts and feelings .... whatever i feel like putting down on paper (or online). this includes things that i think about or feel that i would rather not have certain people read them.



for example, if i wanted to write about something that was bothering me about my boyfriend, and he's on VR and has access to read it, then i would rather have the option of still being able to write it but to be able to make it private from him.



basically, i want to be able to write whatever i want, but to protect it from certain people should i ever write about them. make sense? haha. probably not.



i know i could still write whatever i wanted and put it somewhere else, but i just see that as a hassle really. i mean, i have this journal on VR ... so why shouldn't i be able to use it however i would like?



does this make sense to anyone else? haha.

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