While you sleep I day dream about you & hope that I don't enter your mind because I don't want the imagine of you to be taken out of mine. You dream heavy & hard because it's the only time you're truly at ease, I often wonder if you are the sanguarian I been waiting for or perhaps a shiner with a fetish phase (& this will pass) then I'll be again tormented to go on the prowl of some other pure mind to corrupt.
But what I will promise you, now and until I am reborn again is this:
I will never change who I am (because you requested it of me) & never try to change you because I am obsessed with who you are tho I can't deny I want to know you better than you know yourself. You've always been a God & in blood you look so fukkin gorgeous that my asexuality is questioned. I want to be the one to crown you with thorns & roses, to shower you with violent affection & ruin you for other women. To be the darkness you feel cradled in & can't escape. I've bled for you & I've cried, you've made me wear my heart on my sleeve & burned it with cigarettes but here I am begging for more. Your perfect smile is the cure to any heartache & your coo's make me fall into a deep & eternal sleep. For you I'd wait in the backseat of a car like a bitch in heat until your oats are soiled & all you want is to leave welts on another pretty body, another beautiful face, I shall be the mannequin you destroy.
The mistress in me demands obedience but you aren't like the others I've had before, to you I am the whore & wear my scarlet letter proudly. With your name carved into my chest I vow that the label of your alter ego will be repeated in envy amongst any who know me, any who will or any who have. All the stars bow before you in both our skies, jealous of how we watch the world crumble so they have forbidden our touch even oceans apart.
There isn't a single gesture I wouldn't do, from getting down on my knees & bleeding mascara to standing erect & taking a belt with stiff lips & a dripping cunt that can tell you exactly how much I adore & worship you. At times I will need your jealousy for nourishment & your tears for shelter, your punishment for entertainment but know that I love you, and I have loved you a thousand times in a thousand different ways over many lifetimes. It has always been you, and always shall be. I recognized your giggle, your moans of ecstasy, sighs of frustration & most of all your voice. Your eyes are my haven & your songs are my home. I'll be the one to escort you to hell when the time has come, no one else will ever touch even a sliver of your soul the way I do. NO ONE.
I only breathe the air already in your lungs & see only the reflection in your eyes, all I've ever known is you & everything else was just a nightmare I was unable to wake up from. You are my God, my father, my brother & lover... You are my literal everything. You've seen all my faces & demons, you've seen all my dreams & felonies, you have carried me kicking & screaming through the dark so I would appreciate your pearl shimmer even on the brightest of days (with night as a constant reminder) you are the moon whenever it decides to Grace us with it's presence.
& lastly, even if you aren't mine, I am yours unconditionally, immortally
My Christopher Robin
XoXo
Vicious.Doll
COMMENTS
-