The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Its been awhile since I publically blogged or written in an electronic journal and I'm not quite sure where to begin... in accordance with my own despairs and angst I try to keep a logical mind as to thoroughly explain the chaos afflicting my brain over the last few months... my failed suicide, my desperate attempt to harvest a relationship, my still even more pathetic tries at being a mother and asset to the corporation i use to work for. It stresses me to even think about how unyielding my heart and faith can go until i'm completely broken... when all odds are against me and somehow, someway I still progress forward, finally back to the energy and charisma that make me the unique individual i am and then boom... catastrophe. damn the universe. i need a vent source, a way to say all those hidden things i can't say that lurk deep deep deep in my very soul, i need an escape, a safe haven, i need a guardian angel, and how i truly with every fiber of my being wish i had some christian faith, i was able for one brief moment to get past all the hypocrisy of their very foundation and believe in a God of mercy, just and ever lasting unconditional love. its that love, that affection, that undying emotion i am dying for...



bless my body

bless my mind

for i have lost them both