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Does This Heart Of Mine Beat Anymore,

Sometimes I Wonder How It Became Tore..



Was It All The Lies,

You Thought I Would Believe,

Or The Way You Thought,

My Heart Could Be Deceived..



I Loved You Unconditionally, More Than I Thought I Could,

I Even Promised To Be There Forever, And You Knew I Would..



But That Was Wishful Thinking,

Didn't Know It Would Be This Way,

I Thought I Had My Fairytale Ending,

That You Were Here To Stay..



We Went Our Separate Ways, You Left And I Right,

Even Now Its Hard For Me To Sleep Peacefully At Night..



Did We Make The Right Choice,

By Letting It Go Awry,

Sometimes I Feel Inside,

Like We Just Didn't Try..



But You Had To Do What You Thought Was Best,

Even If That Meant, Giving Our Love A Rest..



You Said I Deserved Better,

Than You Could Ever Give,

I Thought You Were Giving Up On Me,

You Were Giving Me The Chance To Live..



Don't Think That I Don't Love You, Because You Know That That's Not True,

I Try To Keep That Smile You Loved On My Face, Instead Of Feeling Blue..



Some Days Are Harder Than Others,

But I Keep Moving On,

In The Hopes Of Being Happy,

Whether You're Here Or Gone..



So Here I Will Say My Final Goodbye,

I Will Leave With A Smile And Try Not To Cry..



For Now And Forever,

I Wont Again Hold You Tight,

Because You'll Be Going Left,

And I'll Be Going Right..

COMMENTS

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vladstick
22:38 Oct 19 2011

Don't ever love anyone unconditionally. You are setting yourself up for a trap b/c he/she who loves the least in a relationship controls the relationship.



ciao,

vladstick

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POST COMMENT

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we both just moved on

When people all stare

I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk

Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue

Pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes? Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Cry

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart

Yeah what do I care

If they believe me or not

Whenever I feel

Your memory is breaking my heart

I'll pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Cry

I'm talking in circles I'm lying, they know it

Why won't this just all go away

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Cry

Cry

Her Last Goodbye,

hand quivering as she writes the letter,

filled with I'm sorry, I love you,

Wishing she was strong enough to handle this,

another heartbreak,

one to many, this time all her fault.



I can't do this anymore,

she whispers to herself,

curled up in a ball in her bed,

tears streaming from her eyes,

hitting herself for messing this up,

knowing shes the reason for his

miserable pain.



Looking at the letter,

re reading it over & over again,

adding one final piece,

I love you baby boy

you must understand why I can't be here anymore,

I caused this, I'm the reason for all this pain,

don't you see you make me happy,

can't you understand I messed up bad,

you gave up on me.



Her Last Goodbye,

ending her cries, she locks the door,

places the letter on her nightstand,

sealed with a kiss,

she slits her wrists,

can't take this pain anymore,

she takes her life out of this world.

The longer I think, the more I figure out

The feeling of pain and sorrow can't be told by the mouth

It is felt deep within, where there is no light

Even with the sun shining so bright, it seems like it's a dark night.

Where am I? Is the question I always get wrong

Even with the birds chirping and singing a great song

It's like a tornado, the deeper I think the faster I go

Just like a voice telling me that we reap what we sow

I take one step forward, the time makes me take two steps behind.

It's like a big puzzle that I can't solve in my mind

How far can I go, what can I make out from this

Am I far from close or have I completely missed?

Thousands of questions but no right answer

If only I could ask someone but I doubt anyone knows the answer.

I wanna cry, but tears dont wanna,

I wanna see her, now that i need her,

I wanna hug her, but she's too far away,

I wanna tell her about my love, but shes's invisible,

I wanna tell her, Why did she leave me,

I wanna tell you, that part of my heart left when you left me,

I wanna tell you, that i think about you every moment of my life.

Grandma ever since you left, its been really hard for me. I LOVE YOU.

COMMENTS

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darkseeker243t2
02:48 Oct 20 2011

im real sorry dear. i know that means nothing but i feel for u on this one. trust i can relate.

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POST COMMENT

You see her smiling, saying she's ok.

But do you really know what shes tryna say?



Behind the fake smile and making things seem bright,

is lots of pain, were nothing goes right.



She wants to scream out, but will anyone hear?

Will they really care about her pain and tears?



All the bullshit and hurt she keeps inside.

Just sitting back letting it eat her alive.



Shes gotta big heart, bigger than most.

Maybe thats why the hurt comes in a double dose.



But she breaths deep, says it'll be ok,

and pushes though another day.



You'll never see the hurt, pain, or tears.

Just the pretending, happy girl you've seen over the years.



You see her smiling, saying she's ok.

But do you really know what she's tryna say?

Step by step, left then right, Do you know she still locks herself in her room from the fright?



she crys in the middle if the night!

wounder how this all happend



she crys for help but no one hears her

would you help her



or ignore her wounders were every one went

she lost all her friends

and she feels its near the end!

I feel the heat of flames

Of blame

Eating me up.



Why can't I be happy?

I am on the verge of breaking every day

I am the Devil's prey.



Why can't I be happy?

I feel my steel wall weakening

The emotions are whirring inside me

Waiting for the day I break

I am on the verge of breaking



The only thing

Keeping me from bursting is my pride

Will this ever subside?

The fire in my soul burns,

to where I cant feel no more.

The only thing I feel is the fire,

inside me burning me alive.

Why do i feel this I do not know,

will I ever know before the fire gets to me,and pushes me over?

I do not know.

I smell smoke inside me.

I feel the burn more than ever before.

I fall to the ground and realize it's not just,

my soul it's my whole body.

I'm burning alive.

What a awful pain to feel but relieving

to know all my worries and pain are gone,

along with my life.

The blood

seeps out of my wrist

and I feel so good.

The pain,

throbbing throughout my body,

makes me smile.

It's sick.

I know.

I'm sick.

Or so they say.

Yet I can't stop it.

As the liquid falls to the ground

I feel okay.

Maybe there's hope.

Or not.

But who cares?

Not me.

At least not at the moment,

as I listen to the silence

and watch the blood

fall

drop

by drop.

What is a home? What is a family?

In my life, it seems, that both are absentees.

What's the meaning of happiness

Without all the nastiness?



A sense of belonging is something I long for.

My heart can no longer handle this cold war.

Where do I go when I need that comfort?

My house should not feel like a culvert.



Every thing's confusing me.

I find it hard to believe their guarantees.

I can't tell the difference between truth and lies.

I feel like everyone is wearing a disguise.



I don't know which direction to choose.

I don't know who's offer to refuse.

I think I'm right, when I'm going left.

I can't help but have a feeling of bereft.



Everyone I love feels like a stranger.

I wonder if stability is something that's endangered.

The love I've seen is never patient and kind.

It's a love that most people would leave behind.



Change is inevitable, and also equitable.

We love and we lose, we scar and we bruise.

Through it all I've always believed I'd come out stronger

But with every word that's been spoken, those feelings are no longer.



This time I'm truly on my own,

And there's no such thing as a comfort zone.

You act like you care



You pretend your there



But when I hurt



That's when you divert



I see your lies



I'll break your disguise



I'm sick of the pain



This is my domain



Have I made it clear



I don't want you here



You know what this about



Don't let the door hit you on the way out

Mom won't believe me,

I think my heart just broke.

I was afraid to tell her,

She thinks its one sick joke.



I try not to care,

But it bothers me.

She has doubt,

So much she can't see.



She has no words,

Never here to help me.

I'm such a disappointment,

She is someone I'll never want to be.



I think she's in denial,

I'm so upset and mad.

She'll never be on my side,

Of what happened with me and dad.



She's slowly losing her daughter,

I'm slowly slipping away.

It'll be a hard goodbye,

With nothing left to say..

As a child, I was wary,

often felt cornered.

To escape, I regularly

stashed myself

in the closet,

comforted by curtains

of cotton. Silk.

Avoided wool, which

encouraged my

itching

the ever-present rashes

on my arms, legs. My skin

reacted to secrets, lies,

and taunts by wanting

to brake out.

Now I hide behind

a wall of silence, bricked

in by the crushing

desire to confess,

but afraid of

my family’s reaction,

fearful I don’t have

the strength to survive

the fallout.

Here I sit in this box no way in, no way out

I wait for you to save me and say I’m here have no doubt.

I say only your love will save me so I could be free

You say you love me and save me, but then the truth was you want to leave me.

So now I wait hunger and tired, hoping you’ll come to my rescue.



Now I lay in this bed, hoping you’ll come to my window and say “I Love You Will You Be Mine.”

I say “Yes,” but you don’t hear me because a girl walks by and said “Do you have the time?”

You forgot about me and now I act like I don’t even care but in my eyes you’ll see that...

I WANT YOU TO BE MINE!

His eyes swear forever,

flatter with vows of only

me. But are they empty

promises?

I stare into his eyes, as

into a crystal ball, but

I cannot find forever,

only

movies of yesterday,

a sketchbook of today,

dreams of a shared

tomorrow.

His eyes whisper secret.

But are they the truths or fairytales?

I wonder if he even

knows.

I whisper and you close

your eyes. I speak and

you turn away.

If I scream, will you finally

hear

me beg you to hold me

close to you, promise

you’ll never let go?

Do my tears

upset you? Can you

see them fall on fallow

ground- the soil

of your heart?

Fear

is a better friend than

you, who feels nothing,

beneath the weight of

my pain.

Shadows in shadows

He watches through

dreams

wings black as Africa

Body strong as stone

Done waiting

The ravens call.

Eyes watching always

Shadows in shadows they wait

A black feather falls



First accepted, loved

Then betrayed-spit in the face

Vengeance sweet like dots

They done

wrong

Like ink from a busted pen

Thrown away ‘cause of someone else

Used up

But he come back

Dressed in night

Fine as a king

with his queen

The wrong

Made right

So right

What once bound him

will make him flee

Place of power-joining of five



Night

Spirit

Blood

Humanity

Earth



Joined not to conquer,

Instead to overcome

Night leads to Spirit

Blood binds Humanity

and Earth completes.

She come back

Through blood by blood

she returns

cut deep now

Like me

Humanity saves her

will she save me?

You complete me hole.

When you said you wanted to break up

I cried, yes. But I hide it in my sole.

I was so mad I wanted to erupt.

I tried to play cool but I can’t.

I loved you and treated you so well.

I treated you like a saint.

When you said that, I felt like I fell.

And I’m still falling waiting for you

waiting for you to make you’re Big Move.

I can’t take it did you really like me

or just wanted a booty call and you had the key.

I let you in; you were my first for something’s.

I feel bad that I did that but it only was a little ding.

Compare to what you could have done.

I thought you would be the one.

I still think that, but I’m trying not to.

Did you go out with me ‘cuz I was new

or was it ‘cuz my boobs.

I go to school happy and perfect

but the truth is I’m pissed and sad.

Why me I ask myself everyday.

I still ask that now I’m not complete.

I feel like I gave you my heart

and you stabbed it and spit on it.

I’m sorry I can’t be the one

I wanted to be it so bad tho.

If you look at me I hope you can see the truth.

When I look at you I see lies and only lies.

Well I hope your happy now

‘cuz I wasted too much time crying everyday

and every night just like

Eternal Rain

Will it last is the thing that goes through my head when I see you.

I try to make you happy I even have a nickname for you its my boo.



When I go to bed at night I think you are right there with me,

Your perfect cuz you’re nice, funny, and older that’s a plus.



Sometimes I think I'm dreaming cause I have you but now I know I'm not and boy am I happy dude,

Every time I see you I just want to be near you and hold your strong hands and maybe be nude.



But there is a part I don’t like about you and that’s you don’t call, I know you are just a guy but when you don’t call I think your having a ball, with a chick.



I know I have attitude but so what if you don’t like it you can go suck a dick.



I’m sorry that is the way I am so just listen, when I want you to listen you better or I’ll drop you quicker then I can get my shirt off so if you know what’s good for you, you better not do something stupid.



When I saw you I didn’t like you at first but cupid, had a different plans, damn him!



I hate him for that but at the same time I love it, but if you mess up once you’re gone; don’t temp me cuz I don’t play around punk.

You might have to find someone else maybe even {insert name here}



Ha that’s funny you go for her then again you are a guy but whatever remember one mess up your out of here, you queer.



If I get hurt I’ll kick your ass this is a warning cuz that’s all give you, even if we go to 4th base.

I hate to be used.



When I’m kicking your ass, I will not feel bad cuz you brought it on yourself

I know I’m a bitch, a slut, and a whore, but that’s just the way I am. If you don’t like it you can get the hell up out of here and never look back.





Love,

The sorry Bitch who dumped your sorry ass!

The cars driving by fast past me.

The wind kisses my face ever so sweetly as it goes by.

The smell of fuel and pine trees, cover my nose with ease.

The sound of the cars rushing by blocks the sweet sound of the birds’ songs.

The feeling of the grass between my toes; it’s like the grass is a soft blanket keeping my feet warm.

The sensation you get when the sun hits your body to make you glow with greatness and the warmth when it hits your face.

But now it’s all gone, for now, I’m home now.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said as I left his car.

Darkness Surrounds me,

it pulls my shadow down

trees envelope the clear sky

breaking the peace we cannot deny

it whispers demands that I cannot supply

wicked forces me to cling to you

the angel that guides me to captivity

I cannot escape the devil inside of me!

The demon that claws me internally sealing my sanity..

the ghosts enveloping whispers in clarity!

Vacant soldiers act as my messengers

delivering misery through uncertainty...

Barely breathing,

heart not beating,

thinking, dreaming,

Lay here bleeding



Life, dedicated,

Dead eradicated,

steadily pleading,

Enemy's feeding



Two caps, one pill,

time almost standing still,

wondering,sleeping,

silenced without weeping,



Sadness, sorrow

No time left to borrow,

Machines beeping,

Words that he's not speaking.



Dead but still dreaming,

A world that needs saving,

Nothing left to do but fall,

Let it all go, get rid of it all

As I walk alone

In the sunset



My heart seems to wonder

Is it the end of a dream



Or hope to a new beginning

My every path lead to u



Though my dreams were few

They dint seem to get their due



My heart just yearns for you

As always without conditions



Come back to my world

Come back to my space

Just come back......

On the edge of time here I stand;

Skeptical as is offered a helping hand

Do not know which way to go...

I wonder is she friend or foe



Trepidation grows with each passing day

A tremor on my lips as I pray...

Will the blur that overwhelms disappear?

Or will I perish in turmoil and fear...



Distrust and sorrow overwhelm a heavy heart

Will I give up even before I start?

Thoughts of the past ridicule and torment

But perhaps she is a saviour sent...



As I throw an upward glance

I decide to believe and give one more chance

Fears and anxiety I try to quell

But only time will tell...

I sit here day and night wishing you was here i sit here day and night wishing i could hear your vocie i sit here wishing you was here to hold me and watch me sleep i sit here wishing i could talk to you

You make me loose my mind

every time i think about you

you make me loose control

every time i think about you

your the reason why i breathe

every time i think about you

you make my heart smile

every time i think about you

you make my heart beat fast and faster

every time i think about you

you make me like you very much

every time i think about you

I cannot ease your aching heart,

Nor take your pain away;

But let me stay and take your hand

And walk with you today.



I'll listen when you need to talk,

I'll wipe away your tears;

I'll share your worries when they come,

I'll help you face your fears.



I'm here and I will stand by you,

On each hill you have to climb;

So take my hand, let's face the world...

And live just one day at a time.



You're not alone, for I'm still here,

I'll go that extra mile;

And when your grief is easier,

I'll help you learn to smile!

roses are red, violets are blue i have 5 fingures and the middle one is for you so turn around adn walk away leave me alone and have a nice day