The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

just keeps comming. my brother, Luke, is now seperated with his scumbag wife, Katie. Katie's family is just fucking stuck up. im not surprized she screwed him over, but that does not make me any less pissed at her for messing with my family. My brother was the nicest person in the world, atleast to me. He defended me against my father when my father was in....a bad mood. and Katie had 2 little girls with Luke. Luke supposedly abused the kids...YEAH RIGHT. My brother loved his daughters more than any living thing in this world. He worshiped those little girls more than God. There is no freakin' way that he could have hit them. They might not even be his kids, but he still loves them nonetheless. i hate that stupid whore sometimes. Her and her entire family.

is being gay. i havent used it in a while because i lost it, then found it with the battery almost completely dead. its been a month or two that it took to find the damn thing. then the next step was to find the god damned charger. another difficult find! it took me about another 5 months in order to freakin find that. and i found it last night. i charged my phone, and i decided i had better buy minutes and i decided that i would buy them tomorrow ( or what, now, would be today). meanwhile knowing that i will need to reactivate it. today i baught a 200 prepaid phone card. i cant put on the minutes till i activate it. i went on tracfone.com and tried to activate it. the codes i was given when i first received the phone didnt work, so it told me to CALL customer care blah blah blah. so i wait the half an hour till the phone is finally free, then i make the call. after 15 minutes, i finally get some answers. they tell me that i need a new SIM card (without that, the phone doesnt work-for those who are cellphone illiterate) because "it is not compatable with our services." what ever. i was told that i have to be sent a new one which will take a whole freakin week. they gave me some numbers to jot down, ect. but, i still wont be able to use my phone for a while...whoo hoo!!! SO FUN!....bitches.

what the fuck is wrong with me? people wonder?...hmm lets see. im pissed, stressed, moody, depressed, selfish, degrading...and becoming my worst nightmare. and people wonder why is she acting this way? probably because i was betrayed yet again. i was used. i did something wrong that nobody will fucking tell me no matter how much it hurts. but people broke my trust, and i dont think that this time, i will be able to recover from that...for anyone. everyone is against me on what i do, and if i sit on the sidelines, they think that i dont care or showing great disrespect. and people cant understand this. i lost one of my best friends, if it could even be called that anymore, because i dont know as if she really wanted me as a friend. i am beginning to wonder if she wanted to hurt me intentionally for something that i had not known that i did. and now im being punished for it.

you know what? I AM WRONG. ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?! i think i will just sit on the sidelines- or try to, and see what happens. hopefully it wont be worse than it is.

a lot of bullshit has been going on in my life lately. i dont wanna deal with it, but it seems as if, im the cause of all of it. the thing with andrea for instance. yea, i set her and rob up. they were doing fine for all the fuck i knew, atleast for a while. up untill the arizona trip. then things got rough between everyone. main root, andrea. or atleast i thought. no, actually it was me. andrea was being a bitch toward rob, rob was being an asshole to her. i was within less than a foot in the same tiny ass car, so i had to fucking hear it all. i got pissed and sick and tired of all their stupid fighting. i have never been much for fighting. i had enough with my parents fighting all through my life, and to this day,sixteen years. but there they are fighting and arguing untill my emotions got in the way. i started being fucking pissed off all the time. when we got back, nothing really seemed to change. they still argued and faught, but this time i didnt have to hear it all the time. so i didnt play a part in it. i knew that they faught...a lot. it did annoy me to the point of jealousy. no, i didnt want to fight with my man. i was jealous because they had something that i dont think that me and roger will ever have. closeness. they could be in the same room together as much as they wanted, which would be a lot. i couldnt do that, because rog and i are 6 states apart. we cant see each other. only on cam (and that even was rare, due to recent suspicions in the family about me). yet, they saw each other a hell of a lot, and they chose to fight. rog and i ( at the time) barely had any fights...yet we couldnt be together and spend time calmly. i was jealous of their time.

then came along josh. my neighbor and friend, lisa, introduced us through the phone and myspace. he called me up one day and said , "hey, go downstairs and talk to me." so i did. i invited him, and his friend, up, because i wasnt thinking ( i just woke up) and i was underdressed to the point of being uncomfortable in public. they went up to the appartment and found andrea and rob snuggling on the couch. i went to go change and left them to talk to rob n andrea. they talked. when i came back out, they wanted to go to walmart and asked me to go along. whatever. i needed some stuff from there anyways. i decided to go along, but i would not go alone with some people that i had just met, two guys at that. i asked andrea to go with me. she said ok, and off we went. but instead, we went to utica somehow. we went to the mall and i was a little nervous. when we were on our way home, i got a call from mom on his cellphone and she said that i needed to be there and soon. then i knew i was in trouble (she had not known about this ahead of time). josh and andrea wanted to go on the backroads and do some tricks, they asked me if i wanted to and i said hell no, i was already in enough trouble. so we went home. it took a long while for me to get the guts to actually stay upstairs and deal with my mothers bitching. and when i had, i took the punishment like a really good bitch because, i really did deserve it. i was stupid to even think about going anywhere with them. and andrea prooved not to be quite a good friend. then later on she kept seeing josh and apparently it turned into more. they started going out while andrea was still going with rob. when i told rob, all hell broke loose. then more and more shit just started piling up, and i got more and more pissed off. rob was like a real brother to me. i hated seeing him that hurt and pissed off because of what she had done to him...they broke up a while ago.. i regretted and hated having set them up.