I lost yesterday. Again. And I am about to lose again right now. The terrifying part is that I have taken a liking to this "loss." But the crazy/welcoming feeling, is that i am taking a liking to it as well. So as I begin to lose once more, I welcome it. I will let it shelter me like it always has since the beginning it started. I will let it control me. And for once, I'll know I'll be okay. Again, i will lose.
One day, I am sitting in my library, wondering, "how the fuck did I get so lost?" And i realized it is better to be lost than to be used. If you're lost, nobody knows how to get ahold of you. However, you end up alone for eternity, and I guess, that that is even better than just being lost. Being alone, I can take care of my own shit, without anyone else's. So, I am okay with being lost.
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