The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Wow... it's been awhile since I tried to do anything on this site... I'm so behind on my status, but oh well.

I still hurt... no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. Did I ever inflict this one, and never so badly...

I was so wrong. It's rare when I'm wrong. It does happen but it's not very often... I've never been this wrong in my life and it cost my very dearly.

So the baby was his... which is fine. I am happy for him, but it changes so much. Yet it also changes nothing...

I still feel the same way about him and given the oppertunity I would move all of Hell for him and this child...

But because of this child, he has to do what's right. He can't think of the things he wants. He's just settling, but he has to. Sooner or later though she will flub up and I won't let him go.

Until that happens I need to take care of myself and do whatever it takes to get the things I want that I can have...

I know this could be the only logical conclusion to this... but it is so ridiculous how bad it hurts.

But what's meant to be will be... Life is really just one big game of chess, after all...

He felt like he was the One. If he is, then we will see. What will be, will be. Patience is what I really need right now. If he wasn't the One, then that One will show up eventually. If not, well; what will be, will be. Either way, no matter what, I just need to let go and move on with my life. Which is so hard.

This weekend, I'm going to rip out the stitches. No anesthesia. Just go down to the bar here and pick up some random guy and let it go from there. Take that first step towards moving on. Make a decision and never look back.

Never regret anything you've done, don't do anything you know you'll regret. Well, you can't do that second part. But the first part always rings true anyways...