The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I put my opening and closing disclaimers back into my profile. They amuse me.



Well, I'm hungry and have some things to do at home. SO... I'm gonna roll. Peace out.

One of the things that I really like about the drawing class I'm taking is that it's shown me I'm really not quite as bad at drawing as I thought. I'm at least half-way decent.

I picked up a few extra hours at work tonight. It was a good night. I think it's a little said though that what factored most into making it a good night is because I didn't want to sit at home by myself. It's not good when work is your best option for socializing.

My article is finished! I'm so excited. I'm not 100% sure that I've done it completely right, but I did my best. It'll be a learning experience either way.

I really can't wait for the 4th.

What a good day so far. I had drawing and then piano. Drawing was fun and interesting, and it really didn't seem like we were in class for 2 hours. Piano is interesting simply for the fact that I'm learning to play, slowly but surely. I'm looking forward tobeing able to actually play.



I actually have some homework to do for drawing, and I have some practicing to do for piano. I don't have any homework for my other classes yet, but there's still one more day for my other 3 classes.



I'm still working on my article. I'm thinking about doing a couple of random interviews so I can include a general idea of what the average public actually knows about it.

I just took some notes on the crap about the zodiac shift for the article I'm writing. It can be frustrating sifting through information and figuring out what to do with what, but it's interesting and challenging. I'm looking forward to writing this. I need to turn it in to the editor by Monday.

Yea-ya. I'm on top of shit!





Disclaimer: No, I'm literally on a pile nor even a residue of shit. At least, I'm pretty sure I'm not on any shit residue, but this is a public chair and you never know.

I'm in such an unbelievalby awesome fuckin' mood right now! Life is just great. My finances are good, classes rock, I have a social life, and I'm writing a news article! I have awesome instructors for all of my courses too. I'm motivated to get shit done, for school and at home. I'm feelin' so energetic lately and not just hyper. I've managed to maintain a great routine in the mornings, and that makes all my days start out good.



So here's the 411 y'all. I just went down to H&R Block to file my taxes. I knew I was going to get everything back, but I've been working few hours at a minimum wage job. That means I haven't put much in, around $200. I'm getting about $1400 back after fees. As it turns out, I qualify for certain credits because of my situation. I'm getting about 7 times back from the government than I gave them! HOLY FUCK! What's more, I'll be getting that around the same day I'm supposed to get my excess check from the college. I'mfuckin' rollininit!



I had piano today, it was interesting. I'm so excited to be learning to play. I had drawing today, it was fun. That class is going to be so much fun and such a challenge, and it's giving me something I've been wanting for so long: an imporvement in my artistic skills.



I'm really looking forward to speech tomorrow. Because I am the way I am, I signed up for the first presentation. So I have that tomorrow, and that class is going to be so great. The instructor is freakin' cool. Science is going to be a breeze. Then there's INTD. That's not going to be anything special, but it won't be a burden either.



I got a news article to write for the college paper, The Tower. I'm going to be writing an article on the deal with the horoscope change b.s. The main reason I wanted to come to college was to write. It's second semester, and what am I doing? I'm fuckin' writing, and it pays! What a perfect way to supplement my low hours at work.



Anyway, I really need to get workin' on my presentation for tomorrow. Peace out y'all.

I had piano and drawing today. Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to kick so much ass! I'm debating becoming an art major.

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is The Fundamentals of Physical Science. I found out today that it's the same thing as the Physical Science class in the 9th grade, but this one's more laid back it seems. I passed that class on the tests alone. With this class, the tests are the only things that count for a grade. I'm so getting an A.

COMMENTS

-

---

SinginGhost88
16:19 Jan 25 2011

Bombski!

---

POST COMMENT

It's a little late in coming, but I decided to go over the events from last year.



The first thing I did was move into a new apartment.



I slept with a complete stranger for the first time.



I had somebody attempt to mug me outside of a concert. This made me remember that I'm not to be fucked with.



I lost another car and another job.



I found out that I'm good at giving blow jobs.



I had sex for money for the first time. I was the one paid.



I lost the apartment.



I learned that finding even a moment of happiness is worth even more suffering.



I moved back to an area I never wanted to live in again.



I got another crap job, for crap pay, and with crap hours.



I made out with an underage girl. Not my proudest moment, but it is what it is.



I realized I'm still a bit hung up on an ex that I haven't been with for about 3 years now.



I moved into a new apartment. Again.



I started college.



I learned that college wasn't quite the solution to everything that I thought it would be.



I made a friend, a best friend even.



I tried weed for the first time. I learned that I absolutely love weed.



I tried acid. I learned that I love it.



I realized I'm never more than a step from a complete breakdown.



I did poorly in school and learned that I still have a helluva time with procrastinating. It's jut part of my nature.



Thanks to my friend, I decided that I need to work on myself in various ways. I started working on my health and my spirituality.



I sat alone on New Year's Eve, stoned out of my mind, and realized that I my biggest fear is that that will be the them of my life.

This was my reply to my brother for complaining in his facebook status that there wasn't anything to watch on tv. Too much?



Waaah! Shit. At least you have that. I don't have a regular signal where I'm at, no cable, no satellite, and I don't even have the internet right now. If there's really so little to watch on tv, don't try. Grab a book, write something, go for a walk, or something! Hell, make an effort to talk to some of your family that you hardly speak to! I know there are plenty of us who would appreciate that.

I keep catching people staring at me, and it makes me wonder. Are they staring at me because I'm somehow that attractive, because I'm rockin' out to my tunes, or because I'm walking around in an unzipped vest? Maybe some combination of the above?

Here's an interesting bit of insight for you.



The great thing about having nothing better to do than something you need to do anyway is that you do it.

So, for a lack of anything else to do that remotely interested me, I took a look at a book that I have to read for one of my classes and didn't stop looking for a bit. The interesting thing about this is the back story to the situation. Because I am a horrid procrastinator and screwed up last semester, I have to retake one of my classes that's a graduation requirement. It's called Critical Thinking In The Liberal Arts and Sciences. It's more or less a bird coarse. None the less, here I am. Last semester, the book was Planet Walker. It sucked. It was boring. I never actually read it.



This semester, in my particular class, we are reading a book called The Book Thief (a rather amusing title for a book in my opinion). I ran out of anything interesting to do Saturday night, the same day I bought the book, and decided to check it out. I reasoned that I really did need to read the book this time, and it wasn't like sitting and staring off into space was more appealing. It's unique. I sat and read for a bit, and I've read a bit more today. Totalled, I've read almost a third of the book so far. It's not my usual kind of book. It's set in the before/early WWII time period so far, and it's not a sci fi/fantasy book at all, but it's hard not to find it interesting.



The book is narrated in an unusual way, with odd little side bits. The continuity is jumpy at points. It will skip ahead and then go back to the main part of the story. This is purely for the purpose of keeping things interesting and giving insights. The narrator has a habit of commenting on various things, and they are amusing. It's like somebody is actually telling you a story.



As odd as it sounds, I'm really kind of glad that I have to repeat this class. If I didn't need this class, I might not have found this book. While this book may not be life changing or truly important to me in anyway, I always love finding new books that I enjoy. I would be happy about nearly dying if it led to me finding a new book to read. That is, as long as I think the book is good.

Soon, I will have money again. I'm looking forward to that so much. There are so many things I need to buy. I'm going to have to be careful though, because I need to save some of that for bills.

Classes start again tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. I don't have my first class until 1, but I have 2 more immediately after. I don't get out of classes until 4 on MWFs because of that. Tues and Thurs are the exact opposite. I have class first thing in the morning those days, but I get done by about noon. Nice.

I was talking to a guy who has gotten high with my me and my friend, and I made a discreet reference to that. I was being discreet because we were in public, and there were at least two people little more than an arms reach away. His response was to just blurt out about it. When I say something in a discreet manner to someone, and they do something like that, it makes me not trust them.

COMMENTS

-

---

SinginGhost88
23:24 Jan 22 2011

Is getting high really that big of a deal to people there you need to be discreet about it???

---

Xzavier
23:31 Jan 22 2011

Well being that it's illegal, the majority of people don't do it and many look down upon it, yes you need to be discreet.



As for your entry PC, I agree, I couldn't trust someone if they don't understand being discreet and the right and wrong times to talk about certain things.

---

placidchaos
21:22 Jan 23 2011

Totally. I could lose my job, get kicked out of school, and more if the wrong ears hear it.

---

POST COMMENT

I went to bed at about 11:30 last night, a little early for me, but I didn't fall asleep until after 4:30. Sleep just wasn't in me. Then, 8 rolls around and I wake up ready to go. I have this weird, slightly disconncted feeling now. I don't feel bad, just weird. Who knows?

I've been looking over my finances for the month today. It's not looking good. For everything I owe, my paycheck is about $215 short. I do have my excess check coming from the college, but that doesn't get issued until Feb. 4, and I shouldn't wait that long for some of it. My insurance payment can't wait that long, it comes out on the 26th. That means I'm going to have to get an advance, deposit the money into the account with the local bank, and then call to switch the payment to that card. *sigh* It's frustrating but doable.

I finally finished aleks and can move on to new shit! I'm so excited at the moment.

I went up to find out what text books I'll need for the coming semester and buy them. When I looked it up, I found out I only need a book each for two out of my five classes. That's just awesome.

When you sit for hours with nothing to do but think, the minutes stretch into hours. Time is measured as a constant, yet we don't experience it as it's measured. When we sleep, we sometimes live out days in our dreams. When all you're doing is killing time, time lasts forever. It's only when you want time to last that it seems to slip away.

There is a saying that goes like this: Life is what you make of it. I look at my parents and other adults that were in my life growing up, and I don't like seeing what they've made of their lives. Mostly, I see how unhealthy they are and how much that hinders them and their happiness, and I know I don't want that for myself. I don't want to have to need to avoid the food I love, be in and out of the hospital, breathe through a whole in my neck or a respirator, or be physically unable to do things because I wasn't willing to do the smart thing and take proper care of myself. I also don't want any kids I may have in the future to see me like that. I want to be an example of what's right, not what's wrong.



As a society, we have ourselves convinced, for the most part, that a good quality of life is dependant on over-indulging ourselves. That is the exact opposite of what's true. I have found that I enjoy the things that are so bad for me even more when I limit myself. Moderation isn't the horror people think. In fact, it enhances the enjoyment. If I go for a month without having a Cherry Coke, it is the most amazing drink in the world. If I drink it every day, it's just a drink and nothing special. If you can say you haven't had something for a while, allowing yourself is almsot exciting and makes having it even better.



I've also come to realize that taking time out of the day to exercise doesn't take time away from things I want to do. Yes, it is less time I have to read, watch something, or whatever. However, a half hour of exercise gives me just as much pleasure and far more satisfaction than a half hour sitting in front of the t.v. or with a book. I just put on a bit of music or even some movie or show I like to watch as background, and I still get to enjoy that entertainment while being active. Beyond the immediate gain of self-satisfaction I get from it, if I do some first thing in the morning, I'm happier and have more drive/energy throughout the day. I also feel like the food I eat during the day is actually going to some purpose beyond driving off hunger pains. I enjoy eating more when I've been active.



That little bit of self-discipline has had a major effect on me. I see msyelf in a better light now. I'm not as self-conscious about the fact that I'm over-weight because I'm losing it. The fact that I know I'm doing what I need to to be healthy has also boosted my confidence. That has made the bit of happiness that naturally comes with the exercise and eating more nutritious foods increase, much like putting your hand in your pocket and finding $20 you didn't know you have. I'll be the first to admit I'm not a health nut, I could do things that would be even healthier, but I think what I'm doing now will give me the best balance.



I've thought about these things so much over the past couple of years, but I honestly haven't done much about any of it. It wasn't until I started talking with my friend Rachael and saw her taking steps to be healthier that I really became motivated about this. It was seeing her example that really put it in me that thinking, talking, and token gestures weren't enough. I hope that maybe I'll be the example for somebody else that she was for me.

COMMENTS

-

---

SinginGhost88
16:07 Jan 16 2011

You are for me :)

---

placidchaos
16:26 Jan 17 2011

:) And so my good morning gets better.

---

POST COMMENT

I worked an 8 hour shift yesterday. It was a great day. I had a lot of fun, believe it or not. Then, just to make things better, my friend Rachael stopped in on her way out of town for the weekend to say bye to me. It made my already awesome day.

I came across someone stuck in a ditch last night. There was somebody trying to help them without much success. Naturally, I offered some more help. One side of the car was on the ground because of the way the ditch dropped off. The only way to get the car out was to get that side off the ground or lift the ground under the tire that couldn't reach, but I'm sure you can see why we couldn't got with the second option. So the guy that was helping her and I lifted the front of the car and pushed back. We got them out successfully, but not without cost. I hurt my lower back. It's just a strained muscle, but it's annoying me. It hurts more to sit down than it does to stand or walk. Leaning on something isn't very comfortable. Lying down isn't great either. *sigh* Oh well. It will go away eventually. It's already better now than it was this morning.

I find it amusing that I occasionally have people come up to me when I'm shopping to ask me where things are. I don't know why they do. It's not like I look like I'm working, but... Who knows?

After all that shoveling I did yesterday, it still snowed enough to need it again by this morning. However, the landlord showed up with a snow blower and took care of it all. I feel sort of annoyed about shoveling since it wasn't really necessary, but I enjoyed doing it. I guess I'll get over it.

I'm sore all over today. I've had a serious case of motivation the last few days and worked out a few times this weekend. I only did sit-ups, push-ups, stretching, and some exercises I picked up in physical therapy back when. My shoulders, pecs, and abs were tight and sore when I woke up. That didn't stop me from spending about 1 hour shoveling snow first thing after breakfast.



I've also started eating a little healthier. It's all my friend Rachael's fault for eating healthy. I've wanted to do this for a while now, but it's hard to do by yourself. I'm not going as far as her, but I have cut down on the junk food in a serious way. I cut back on the frozen pizza and such, I've started substituting fruit or cheese and crackers for chips and candy, and I've cut WAY back on my soda pop in favor of water, milk, and juice. My goal is to get back down to the range of a Large. I never actually fit into shirts that are Large because of my freakin' shoulders, but the rest of me can get to that size.

There are so very many things that I want to do, but it's not likely I'll be able to do them all.

Optimism and happiness being my dominant emotions is new for me. I keep waiting for the horror to come.

I feel like I'm waiting for something. I have no clue, but I'm sure it's important. The feeling is almost like waiting for the bus, but it's a half hour late.

Every day is a mixture of emotions. It's not necessarily bad, but it's not exactly ideal either. I've been really happy lately, but I've also been really lonely still. I've been hanging out with my friend Rachael all week, it's awesome. I'm struggling on that front though. I really like her, but I can't make a move. She's said more than once that she's really only interested in being my friend, and despite the fact that she's decided she wants to break up with her boyfriend, she isn't single currently. So, naturally, I'd like to find someone else I can date. The problem with that is that I don't want to take away from what I have with Rachael, and having a gf would probably cut down on the time I can spend hanging out with her. She's expressed similar reasons for not wanting a local or serious bf.

My apartment is the cleanest it's been since I moved in. I spent several hours cleaning yesterday. I scrubbed my stove top, did my dishes, swept my carpet for a lack of a vaccum, cleaned a bit in my bathroom, rearranged a little bit, and etc... I did a bit more today. It's nice.