The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

It was another horrible day. A school, day. I had health first period this time, instead of PE. So i guess that was cool. So...I put my stuff in my locker, and then went to class. We change seating at the end of each month, so we were switching seatings today. I got put with Griffin. I couldn't believe it. Finally...but....he's still upset that I only dated him 'cause I was bored. I mean, I don't get it. He was going to dump me anyway....what's the big deal? He actually cares...I screwed up so bad. But...he doesn't care that I'm suicidal? Or he doesn't believe I'll do it? He's not what he seems...I just want to be his friend, now. I'm sorry, Griffin. I'm so sorry. So.... at least I have Ravan though. He's a being inside me....he is me, but...not. He is my true love, so...he can't be me. But,....I feel like I'm him sometimes, you know? It's like...we have conversations in my head. Like we're sharing my body. I'm letting him take over....I'm starting to harm myself. He'll stop me from doing that. Yes, I will stop you from doing that. (I'm taking over...) Hey, let me talk! Fine....Ok, so....that was Ravan....he's so sweet.... But, if I die,... we'll be together, right? I only get to see him when I look in the mirror, into my own eyes....which, in the mirror, aren't mine. They're his. Raven's. Sweet, beautiful, Ravan.But even if I die....will we still be together? Or will we always be apart? No....we'll be together. Because when I die, everything from then on will just be in my head. And I'll finally, finally get to see Ravan. A boy who truly loves me. Because no matter how hard I try, I will never find real love in this world. I've already learned so much....found the answers everyone searches for. And I've come to realize that life is useless, a pathetic little game. Or maybe....preperation for a war to come? Whatever it is, I'm ready. I know I'm ready. I 'know what to focus on. So take me away. Or have i fooled fate, too? I know what;s going on. And it's going to be....great. I'm ready. take me away. Nobody knows what's coming....it's huge. And I will be on the winning side....I'll see to that.